The Ladybug

Tag: Mental Health

  • Permission to Rest

    I am currently typing this while curled up in bed with a warm, electric blanket, and a hot mug of coffee.  There was a major snow storm last night, and the weather has now decided to spit ice and rain.  My car is completely snowed in, and I am not going anywhere.  Therefore, I have made an executive decision that today is a rest day.  My week has been long and filled with appointments and schoolwork.  I deserve rest.  However, do I really need to earn my rest?  Or does my mind and body simply deserve rest because they exist.  Is it okay to take a rest day because I am tired, or even two rest days?  Or even a rest week?  Let us look at this idea a little more closely.

                In America, the rules of society dictate that we all work and hustle, as much as possible.  In addition, if one has a disability or health condition that requires taking life a little less intensely, then you are looked down upon by other people.  Grind, grind, grind!  That is the motto for the USA.  Whether this attitude be at your job, in your relationship, or at the gym, you are expected to always be moving forward.  Life is a proverbial rat race.  But why?  What is so wrong about slowing down?

                Let me share a little about my personal experience.  When I meet a new person, they always ask me what I do for work.  My reply is that I do not work, currently, that I am in school part-time.  This answer usually always elicits a confused look from the other person, and then the inevitable question, “Well, what do you do with your time?  Aren’t you bored?”  I find this arrogant assumption that because I do not meet with society’s standard of full-time work or full-time school, that I somehow must have no life.  The assumption is that I must be lazy, and sitting around eating chocolates all day.  My life is full of responsibilities and I often feel overwhelmed by how busy my days are, and how little time I have for rest.  My life just looks different from the norm.  I balance family obligations with health appointments and school and exercise and activities that contribute to my values system, just like anybody else. 

                So, why am I shamed for not fitting the business rules of American society?  And, if I need rest days to help my body and mind rejuvenate so that I may keep going in my life, why is that wrong?  I feel that in the USA, we have our values all wrong.  With all the emphasis on grinding and hustling, exhaustion and burn-out are inevitably to be expected.  In fact, many people are dissatisfied in their lives because they do not take time to rest.  However, I understand that rest time can be seen as an unattainable luxury to some people.  Perhaps you are a busy Mom, or a person working three jobs to make ends meet, and rest time sounds impossible.  I understand, and I do not want to discount these persons and situations.  My point is, that instead of striving to never stop moving, we should be striving to carve out little pockets of rest in our daily lives.  For example, take a longer than usual coffee break, or go for a walk on your lunch hour, or dedicate one day a week to sleeping-in by a half hour extra.  There are possibilities for adding rest, if one is creative.  Rest time is crucial to mental and physical well-being, and it is a luxury that we should be striving to make a weekly practice.

                My challenge to you is to find your happy place.  Stop and think.  Just breathe for a moment.  What small activity, or lack of activity, makes your little heart soar?  For me, I enjoy eating canned soup while curled in bed watching a favorite Netflix show, and I like to take time to do this when I feel my body telling me she is tired.  There are hundreds of possibilities for what a rest day, hour, or moment may look like for you, but make sure to carve out the time to indulge.  Your body will thank you with improved overall health.  Your mind will thank you for letting it de-stress, even for twenty minutes.  Do not run the rat race and feel you are stuck.  Instead, embrace rest time, and view it as a form of self-respect, just as important as leg-day at the gym.  My message to all my Ladybug readers: Permission to rest-GRANTED!!!

                Be Relaxed, G.

  • Diagnosed: Who Am I?

    Personal Post: Mental Health

    Is it helpful or hurtful to be diagnosed with an illness?  The answer may seem obvious, that a diagnosis can help in treatment and, hopefully, recovery.  However, does this reasoning apply to mental illnesses as well as physical ones?  I feel that I have a unique perspective on this question, because I have been diagnosed with both.  Unfortunately, I struggle with several chronic medical conditions that require treatment.  In addition, I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, which has also led to prescription drug treatment and hospital stays.  Revealing these facts about my life used to feel shameful and embarrassing.  People are usually understanding and sympathetic when I say I have, “health problems.”  However, as soon as I mention mental health, their reactions turn from friendly to uncomfortable.  A few people are brazen enough to ask what meds I take, some people tell me about a weird relative they have with a similar diagnosis, and then there are those who look at me knowingly, and whisper under their breath, that they struggle too.

                So, why is this topic as controversial as the others that I cover on The Ladybug, namely religion and politics?  Let’s dive in!  One observation that I have made throughout my journey is that mental health conditions scare people.  Behaviors seem threatening, and they can be dangerous.  Suicide is a leading cause of death in the USA.  Every life lost to suicide is a tragedy.  My own attempts were stopped by loving parents, and I was blessed to receive the treatment that I needed.  Others are less fortunate.  In addition, hospitals for the mentally ill are intimidating.  The experience of a locked ward is one that is unforgettable.  The staff are not always there for the right reasons.  Medications for mental illnesses have difficult side effects that can cause physical changes.  Personally, I struggle with a tremor that is obvious and makes everyone assume I am nervous.  These are some of the more obvious reasons why mental health is a difficult subject.

                But, what is the consequence of the label, “Mentally Ill.” Or, “Bipolar.”  How does it feel to be a professional patient?  Isn’t that the consequence of receiving the diagnosis and being told one is disabled?  I have not been able to maintain employment due to my mental illness, therefore living on disability payments and scratching by financially.  How do you think that makes me feel?  We all know that the Republicans in congress do not look favorably on people like me, living on handouts and charity.  So, how can I respect myself?  See myself favorably?  Feel my own self-worth?  The answer is:  I know that I am so much more than my diagnosis.  My diagnosis is not who I am.  My name is Gaelle, my name is not bipolar.  I have something of value to offer this world simply by being me.  That’s it, nothing more.  I have worth.             

    Honestly, the realization that I am more than my diagnosis was something that took time.  I tried to keep my mental illness a secret.  I feared that people would not see me the way I wanted to be seen if only they knew the truth.  Now, I understand that valuable friends love me for me.  The people who judge me or shade me with stigma are not worth my tears.  I encourage anyone who is feeling ashamed of a diagnosis to step back.  See the information given to you as power in your hands to better understand yourself and aid with treatment and recovery.  There is always hope for a better ending.  We have the control to make positive decisions about our futures.  My personal motto is: Never Give Up!!!  The healing I have experienced over the years is amazing, and it is the reason I was inspired to write such an intimate post.  Mental illness is real, yes, and treatable, and recovery is possible.  Do not let the label define you.  Every human life holds value.  Thank you for reading a little of my story.  If you are someone struggling with mental illness and/or suicidality, please ask for help.  I have included the link below for The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.  Blessings, G.    

    Home | AFSP