The Ladybug

Tag: Health

  • I’m Back! Let’s Talk Honestly About Anxiety and Faith

    I feel anxious.  I have been anxious all day.  Do you ever feel anxious?  It is hard for me to understand my anxiety, and even harder to control it.  I used to apply various substances as balms for my anxious mental health: cigarettes, alcoholic drinks, and benzodiazepine pills.  However, I now keep to a strict sober lifestyle.  So, what to do?  Over the years, psychologists have had me try all the usual “healthy” interventions, such as cognitive behavioral therapy or yoga and meditation.  And, yes, yoga and guided meditation are tools that I use on a regular basis.  However, when the anxiety is high and my system is on alert, these milder aids do nothing for me.   I need to invoke that which is higher.

                Prayer.  Praying is the ultimate soothing release for my anxious tendencies.  These prayers are messy and unfiltered.  They sometimes are not even coherent sentences or words.  God knows exactly what I need before I pray about it, and when I reach towards Him, the relief comes quickly.  It is amazing to me that I worship a God who loves me so much that He accepts all my worries and concerns, whether large or small.  Everything is okay, I can turn it over to the One who is really in charge.  Thank God! 

                Perhaps you find my approach to simple?  Do you doubt that prayers whispered in urgency can really relieve tough anxious pain?  You are not alone, I used to feel that way, too.  My faith as a young adult in my early 20’s was pretty much non-existent.  I was going through a challenging time with my mental wellbeing, and I thought God had abandoned me.  There were many moments when I wanted to give up.  However, through the love of my family and friends, and the support of professionals, I survived.  My faith in God began to resurface, and I started a long journey back to being a believer in Christ.  Many times, my faith has been tested over the years.  There have been scary times with both my physical and mental health.  But God has always saved and protected me.  In gratitude I have turned my life over to Him. 

    For example, my recent long absence from this blog, The Ladybug, was due to a serious physical illness.  I woke up April 20, 2025, Easter Sunday, and was dreadfully sick.  The eventual diagnosis was a tick-borne illness similar to Malaria, and I was placed on lots of medication and rest.  I needed help to do everything, because my abilities with basic living were impacted.  I have taken a long break from posting current photos of myself online, due to the full-body rash that itched and bothered me.  I struggled with a constant fever and abdominal pain on both sides of my chest.  Part of my relapse with anxiety is a consequence of the illness as well, because it attacks the nervous system.  Perhaps the worst symptom has been the fatigue and exhaustion, which I can only compare to how I felt when I had covid-19.  All to say, it would have been so easy to give up on God and just get mad at the situation I was in. 

    But instead, my faith is what got me through, and is continuing to sustain me through, all these recent tough days!  God is Good!  He loves me and longs to be in relationship with me, talking through prayer and devotion.  Again, He surrounded me with loving people, my parents, and doctors, and I was never alone.  Yes, I had moments of self-pity and despair, but overall, my feeling is one of gratitude for God’s great gift of life.  I hope my story can inspire you to try saying a prayer.  Are you anxious?  Are you unhappy?  Going through a struggle?  Pray.  Whisper a few words to the maker of the universe, and wait to hear His whisper back.  We are never alone, and there is no problem in this life that Jesus has not already walked through.  Let go and trust.  Reach out and He will hold you close in return.

    Wishing You Peace, G.

    PS I am still in recovery from the tick-borne illness, but stay tuned to The Ladybug!  New posts will be going up!!  Thank you to my readers!

  • Can I Comment on Your Body?

    In the American media, how many times have you read comments about the bodies of celebrities?  She is too fat, he is jacked, she needs Ozempic, and the classic, she looks sick!  Reporters, influencers, and everyday people all seem to feel entitled to make judgments about the body shape and size of anyone who dares to step in front of a camera’s flashbulb.  In addition, this attitude of criticizing bodies translates to personal examples in the lives of ordinary people.  I, personally, have been told both that I was obese, and how great I looked when I lost a substantial amount of weight.  My question is: why is my body any of your business?  How dare anyone busy themselves with considering my shape and appearance.  How dare they torture famous women and men with harassing comments only meant to criticize.  So, as my own protest to these actions, let us consider here in The Ladybug a little education on body image.

                First, I would like to state the obvious: bodies come in all forms and sizes.  There is no one body that is better than any other.  The term, “fat,” should not be considered an insult.  The look of thinness should not be considered an ideal.  Why should we let society dictate how we feel about our own bodies?  The only thing that matters is the health of our bodies.  This should not be determined by the BMI (Body Mass Index), but by measures such as blood pressure and lab tests.  If your body is healthy and functioning correctly, your weight and shape should be accepted as beautiful no matter the number on the scale.  The diversity in bodies is something to celebrate!  It would be terribly boring if we all looked the same.  So, why do we try to force our poor bodies to conform to an image that is expected of us.  Women, specifically, are taught to shrink themselves into America’s vision of beauty.  I say, let your body find its happy set point, the size where it wants to maintain itself naturally, and enjoy.  Your unique body is a gift, embrace it!

                Second, you may be asking yourself how I can speak so freely about the diversity in bodies.  Perhaps, you might wonder if I do not feel the pressure to look acceptable.  However, let me assure you that I have come to this rebellious standpoint on body image through my own struggles.  I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa when I was 20 years old, after I fell into the behaviors of a serious eating disorder at age 18.  I am still not fully recovered from my eating disorder 20 years later, but I am committed to the fight.  For years, I cycled through hospital hallways and the offices of dieticians.  Sometimes, it felt like I would never make peace with food, and there seemed to be no escape.  One must eat every day to stay alive, and, so, I confronted my eating disorder at mealtimes and felt its cruel thoughts that rocked my mind.  But, little by little, the therapies I was receiving and the supports of family and friends began to make a difference in my healing.  In addition, as my faith in God deepened, I realized that I was not alone in my battles with food and body image.  I have come a long way, and today I have drawn a truce with my body.  I seek to love my body and give her what she needs.  Specifically, I ask her daily what she desires, and I approach eating with an intuitive mind.  Do I love my weight?  No.  But I actively choose to not focus my energies anymore on the number I see on a scale.  It means nothing about my worth as a person, and I firmly believe that statement. 

                Third, let me give some advice.  Do NOT make comments about other people’s bodies.  Obey this rule NO Matter What!  If you want to know why someone put on weight or lost it, then say Nothing, because it is not your concern.  There are so many reasons why bodies change.  Reasons for shape changes can be aging, health concerns, eating disorders, medication side effects, etc.  The only reason to discuss someone’s weight with them is if they bring it up themselves.  Also, commenting on the weight of a pregnant woman is a no-go, they are growing a human!  Suggesting that a man or woman, “hit the gym,” is also completely unacceptable.  There are many forms of movement and exercise, and one should choose movement that is joyful and provides happiness.  I, myself, need to rest a lot due to my chronic health problems, and I am not physically able to maintain a strict exercise regime.  Society would like me to feel guilty about this fact, however, I refuse to force my body to do something she is not capable of just so that I may fit in.  When it comes to health advice, leave it to a trained medical professional.  Commenting on body image, exercise, and weight loss/gain is never a smart idea.

                In conclusion, I would like to reach out to my sisters and brothers who are struggling with eating disorders.  It is a difficult road, and treatment is not always affordable.  Many suffer in silence.  Please, if you are experiencing trouble with eating or negative body image, reach out for help through any means available.  Eating disorders are serious and deadly.  However, breaking the stigma and ending the silent suffering of those who experience any type of disordered eating is crucial.  If you are a family member or friend of someone with an eating disorder, my advice is to love them and stand by them.  They need your support and healing presence.  I have linked below The National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) and The Multi-Service Eating Disorders Association, INC (MEDA).  I have personally received assistance from both organizations, and I can recommend their support services. 

    Finally, do not succumb to the pressures of American culture, which supports a twisted concept of body image and weight.  Instead, be a rebel, and embrace your own beautiful, wonderful, unique body with all your heart and mind.  You are already perfect, so go be authentically you!

    With Acceptance, G.

    P.S. I have displayed below a photo of myself at the 2019 NEDA Walk in Boston, MA.

    Home – National Eating Disorders Association

    MEDA Inc. | Multi-Service Eating Disorders Association

  • Permission to Rest

    I am currently typing this while curled up in bed with a warm, electric blanket, and a hot mug of coffee.  There was a major snow storm last night, and the weather has now decided to spit ice and rain.  My car is completely snowed in, and I am not going anywhere.  Therefore, I have made an executive decision that today is a rest day.  My week has been long and filled with appointments and schoolwork.  I deserve rest.  However, do I really need to earn my rest?  Or does my mind and body simply deserve rest because they exist.  Is it okay to take a rest day because I am tired, or even two rest days?  Or even a rest week?  Let us look at this idea a little more closely.

                In America, the rules of society dictate that we all work and hustle, as much as possible.  In addition, if one has a disability or health condition that requires taking life a little less intensely, then you are looked down upon by other people.  Grind, grind, grind!  That is the motto for the USA.  Whether this attitude be at your job, in your relationship, or at the gym, you are expected to always be moving forward.  Life is a proverbial rat race.  But why?  What is so wrong about slowing down?

                Let me share a little about my personal experience.  When I meet a new person, they always ask me what I do for work.  My reply is that I do not work, currently, that I am in school part-time.  This answer usually always elicits a confused look from the other person, and then the inevitable question, “Well, what do you do with your time?  Aren’t you bored?”  I find this arrogant assumption that because I do not meet with society’s standard of full-time work or full-time school, that I somehow must have no life.  The assumption is that I must be lazy, and sitting around eating chocolates all day.  My life is full of responsibilities and I often feel overwhelmed by how busy my days are, and how little time I have for rest.  My life just looks different from the norm.  I balance family obligations with health appointments and school and exercise and activities that contribute to my values system, just like anybody else. 

                So, why am I shamed for not fitting the business rules of American society?  And, if I need rest days to help my body and mind rejuvenate so that I may keep going in my life, why is that wrong?  I feel that in the USA, we have our values all wrong.  With all the emphasis on grinding and hustling, exhaustion and burn-out are inevitably to be expected.  In fact, many people are dissatisfied in their lives because they do not take time to rest.  However, I understand that rest time can be seen as an unattainable luxury to some people.  Perhaps you are a busy Mom, or a person working three jobs to make ends meet, and rest time sounds impossible.  I understand, and I do not want to discount these persons and situations.  My point is, that instead of striving to never stop moving, we should be striving to carve out little pockets of rest in our daily lives.  For example, take a longer than usual coffee break, or go for a walk on your lunch hour, or dedicate one day a week to sleeping-in by a half hour extra.  There are possibilities for adding rest, if one is creative.  Rest time is crucial to mental and physical well-being, and it is a luxury that we should be striving to make a weekly practice.

                My challenge to you is to find your happy place.  Stop and think.  Just breathe for a moment.  What small activity, or lack of activity, makes your little heart soar?  For me, I enjoy eating canned soup while curled in bed watching a favorite Netflix show, and I like to take time to do this when I feel my body telling me she is tired.  There are hundreds of possibilities for what a rest day, hour, or moment may look like for you, but make sure to carve out the time to indulge.  Your body will thank you with improved overall health.  Your mind will thank you for letting it de-stress, even for twenty minutes.  Do not run the rat race and feel you are stuck.  Instead, embrace rest time, and view it as a form of self-respect, just as important as leg-day at the gym.  My message to all my Ladybug readers: Permission to rest-GRANTED!!!

                Be Relaxed, G.

  • Challenges and Gentle Self-Care

                                                    Updates and Lifestyle Hacks

    First, I would like to update you, readers of The Ladybug, on my progress towards The American Cancer Society 31-miles Walking Challenge for January, which was the subject of my first blog post, Walking for a Cause.  I have successfully completed the challenge, by walking a total of 42.56 miles in the month of January 2025.  The goal of the challenge was to walk 31 miles total, and so I was quite pleased with the result of my efforts.  In addition, I was able to raise 151.00 dollars for The American Cancer Society from donations of generous friends and family members who sponsored my walking.  Completing a goal is always rewarding, whether the goal was large or small, and walking for charities is one of my most important values.

    As I have mentioned previously, I struggle with chronic physical illnesses, which can make exercise difficult on any given day.  Two of my diagnoses are: hEDS (Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, hypermobility subtype) and POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome).  These two illnesses do not have cures, and are managed through lifestyle changes.  Exercise is highly suggested for both conditions, and can help the body stay stronger.  Beyond physical health, the benefits of walking for mental health cannot be overstated.  When I am in nature, I feel calm, serene, and connected to God.  Nature reminds me that the problems of the world that seem huge, can just melt away with some sunshine and the songs of birds.

    I feel that when I ask my body to walk, even if she is tired or the weather is difficult to endure, I need to find a way to reward my hard-working body.  One of the ways that I do this is by drinking homemade matcha green tea lattes.  Matcha is an ancient green tea that was drunk by Buddhist monks in a special ceremony.  There are multiple benefits to matcha, including its antioxidants and natural caffeine.  Personally, I find the little ritual of making my matcha lattes to be rewarding.  First, I heat water, but not to boiling.  Then, I whisk the matcha powder with the water.  Finally, I add cold oat milk, and whisk everything together.  The drink is then poured in a glass and finished with a couple ice cubes.  It tastes earthy, rich, and sublime.  This is my personal thank-you to my body after getting me through another work-out. 

    I recommend that everyone be on loving terms with their bodies and find a special way to engage in some self-care.  Self-Care is unique to what each person enjoys. I would simply define it as: being gentle with the wonderful bodies and minds that God has given us.  Whatever challenges you may be facing, or difficult goals you may be pursuing, take some time and be gentle.  Read a book in your favorite genera, wear fuzzy slippers after a pedicure, play an instrument, paint a picture, soak in a bath, or make a list of the blessings in your life.  It is the little moments of joy that heal us and keep us going.  Take on your challenges armed with self-care!  Until the next quest…keep healing, G.

    P.S. Below are two pictures from my walking adventures in New England, and two pictures from my matcha making ritual at home.  Not sponsored!  Enjoy!!

  • Lifestyle: Walking for a Cause in 2025!!!

    Hello and welcome to 2025!!  I am starting this year with a lifestyle post about my love of charity walks.  As a person who struggles with more than one chronic illness, I find it invigorating and important to exercise by walking on a regular basis.  I can think of no better way to apply my love of walking than by raising funds for worthy organizations.  I first began participating in charity walks when I was quite young, around 10 years of age.  Over the years, the mileage that I can achieve has changed based on my health, but my determination to make a positive difference in the lives of others has not wavered.  In 2024, I participated in four charity walks.  I completed two 5K distances, one 2-mile distance, and one 10K distance, all of which I trained for carefully.  The walks supported the organizations: National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), Open Sky Community Services, The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP), and The Jimmy Fund. 

                Fast-Forward to 2025, and I am taking on a new walking challenge!  I have registered for the American Cancer Society 31-miles in January Challenge, committing to walk at least 1 mile per day.  This cause is very close to my heart, as two of my grandparents struggled with cancer, and one of my close friends is currently fighting. Unfortunately, cancer seems to affect the lives of everyone, whether you know someone or battle with it yourself.    The fundraiser is on Facebook, and I include the link here:

    https://www.facebook.com/donate/1351351116309350/

    I appreciate your support!!

      In addition, this challenge also comes at a tough time for me physically, as I have been in a flare of my chronic illness. Walking daily is currently more difficult than usual.  However, I am determined to overcome my own health struggles, and aid others as well.  Comment below any ways that you use movement to make a difference.  What does it mean to you? 

    Let’s Go, New Year, Goal Set!!!!  

    My photo of my first 2025 walk: