The Ladybug

Category: Religion

  • Welcome to The Ladybug 2026: My 3 Goals for the New Year! 

    Welcome to The Ladybug 2026!  If you are already a reader of my blog, thank you, and if you are new, here is a little bit of what to expect for the new year!  The themes for The Ladybug in 2025 were: Religion, Politics, and Lifestyle.  I wrote 33 posts during 2025, including an introduction.  In addition, I wrote, “Gaelle’s World,” so that my readers could learn a little about me and my motivations for the blog content.  So, let’s talk about what to expect this year as I write out my 3 personal goals.  These are not “resolutions,” they are goals.  The difference in my eyes is that the word resolution implies that something in life needs to be fixed, and for me, goals implies that I am simply adding some new exciting guides to my lifestyle.  The Ladybug, therefore, will still include themes of religion and politics, but I will not limit myself to those topics.  I would like to expand my lifestyle posts to discuss any content that I feel passionate about as the world continues to spin and change around us.   

    So, ready?  Here goes: 

    Goal 1) Increase time with God and connection to the Spirit of light and love.  I find that I can only survive life’s harsh realities and difficulties with the help of a Higher Power.  I cannot weather the journey alone.  Last year, I described myself as a “Progressive Christian,” but now I am not sure which label for my faith in God is best.  With the rise of the Christian Nationalist movement in the USA, I am uncomfortable to use the term Christian for fear that people will think that I have a right-wing political affiliation.  This could not be further from the truth, as I am a left-leaning liberal, and more and more I agree with the socialist Democrats such as AOC and Bernie Sanders.  The core of my faith is the belief that I must be the hands and feet of Jesus to those in need in a hurting world, and that includes the poor and those who are immigrants.  I believe that strength comes from God, not from myself, and so daily devotions that include guided meditations, Bible reading, and journal time are crucial.  If I want to spread love, I must first infuse myself with the love of Jesus.  Devotional time is like an oxygen mask to me, and after I put it on, I can then help others. 

    Goal 2) Learn how to rest in a healthy way.  As I have written previously on The Ladybug, I struggle with a multitude of chronic illnesses, the most difficult of which are hEDS (Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, Hypermobile subtype) and Bipolar Disorder, Type 2.  I like to go, go, go, but then my body collapses, and I am quite literally bedridden.  In addition, when I have too much stress, my anxiety soars, and then I must have medication adjustments for my psychiatric meds.  Trust me, neither of these circumstances is fun.  However, I see two different therapists, one for my physical-health problems, and one for my mental-health problems, and they both told me at the end of the year 2025 that I must focus on learning the art of rest. This news was not welcome to my ears, because I am someone who is extroverted and loves to be busy.  Whether it is helping my local church, doing college coursework, or participating in charity walks such as 5k’s, this girl likes to aim for the stars.  However, the universe is quite literally telling me to slow down.  So, I am going to attempt in the new year to build in “rest days,” and learn to take better care of myself. 

    Goal 3) Live a simpler lifestyle, including decreasing my material possessions.  At the current moment, I feel like I am drowning in “stuff.”  This must end.  I need to practice what I preach with regard to my faith.  I have never wanted to be rich, and I feel choked by how many material goods I own.  Jesus called His disciples in the Bible to a simple life following Him, and I would like to live the same way.  I need to clean, de-clutter, and donate what is clogging my world.  Quality family and friend time are much more important to me than having many goods to hold onto.  I plan to discuss further my successes and struggles with simplifying my life in posts on The Ladybug, so stay tuned!   

    Well, readers, there are some of my thoughts as I enter the new year, as well as some of the themes that you can expect me to write about in 2026 in the blog.  I encourage reader participation, so please leave comments and feedback either here on WordPress, or on my social media pages (Facebook: Gaelle McLoud or Instagram: @gaellemcloud and Substack: @gaellemcloud). If you tune into my Instagram account, which is public, you can see a little more of how I live my life day-to-day.  I hope that you will join me in the adventure of 2026!  

    PS: This is the year I turn 40 years old! My birthday is in October 2026, so join me as I celebrate the adventure all year long! 🙂 

  • Loving the Stranger

    The Ladybug 32 

    Wednesday, November 12, 2025 

    Hello Readers!  Today I feel inspired to share a sermon I delivered approximately a year and a half ago at my local NH church.  However, this sermon seems particularly relevant to repeat, given that our country is currently struggling with a sinking economy, and many families are having trouble making ends meet.  Homelessness can quickly become a reality for anyone, anytime, and I have faced housing insecurity personally.  I also wanted to share this message because, while this sermon focuses on the homeless population, I believe that the spirit of it could also be applied to immigrants.  The atmosphere in the USA regarding immigrants is at best described as tense, and the way that they are treated by the people in power is downright despicable.  Therefore, I encourage you to imagine both the words “homeless” and “immigrant” in your mind’s eye while you read my words below.  God calls us to love, and you will find practical advice as to ways of loving marginalized groups among us if you continue reading!

    By: Gaelle McLoud 

    Sunday, March 17, 2024 

    Based on:   New Testament: Matthew 22: 34-40  

           Old Testament: Leviticus 19: 33-34 

    Message 

                Let the words of my mouth, and the meditations of my heart, be acceptable in your sight, oh Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.  Amen.   

    I would like to begin by highlighting from the first scripture reading for us this morning, Matthew 22: 34-40, the second commandment that Jesus gives: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”  On the surface, this may seem like a simple commandment.  One might think, of course I love those around me, my friends, and my family, including my church family.  However, let us dig a little deeper.  What if your neighbor was smelly and dirty?  What if your neighbor was a drug addict?  What if your neighbor was living a life opposite to yours, a life you could not even imagine?  Would you still be willing to love your neighbor?  Today, I am going to focus on our neighbors who are homeless.   

                You might be wondering why I chose the passage from Leviticus this morning, and be curious as to the relationship to the homeless.  “When a foreigner resides among you in your land, do not mistreat them.  The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born.  Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt.  I am the Lord your God.” Leviticus 19: 33-34. The Leviticus passage refers to our neighbors who are, “aliens,” or, “foreigners.”  One of the Google definitions of foreigner is, “a person not belonging to a particular place or group; a stranger or outsider.”  Certainly, one could think of homeless people as not belonging to a particular place, and many consider them to be strangers and outsiders.  And yet, in Leviticus as well as in Matthew, God commands us to love them.    

                Here is how I began to love my homeless neighbors.  In early 2017, I started attending a new church located in Charlton, Massachusetts.  I prayed to God to direct me towards His will, and I felt a strong calling on my heart to minister to the homeless.  I thought about how I might get involved with mission work, and I remembered that my dad had been connected to a church called the Worcester Fellowship.  The Worcester Fellowship is an outdoor church located in Worcester, Massachusetts that meets every Sunday afternoon, no matter what the weather, to provide a Christian worship service, and brown bag lunches and men’s white crew socks to the homeless population.  Their mission statement is: Worcester Fellowship is dedicated to ending isolation by nurturing community and providing pastoral care. We welcome everyone, we are an outdoor church, we reach out to homeless and at-risk adults and we believe God loves us now.  I attended a Worcester Fellowship Service for the first time in the spring of 2017, and felt transformed and brought alive by the experience.  God’s love and light were palpable at the service.  I spoke to my home church in Charlton, and we signed up to begin donating brown bag lunches and men’s white crew socks to the Worcester Fellowship on every other month throughout the year. The pictures on the power point are of a Worcester Fellowship gathering on the common in Worcester, Massachusetts, on Christmas Eve 2017.   

                Many people think of the homeless population as set apart, and have trouble connecting to them.  However, anyone, anytime can become homeless.  There are many reasons for homelessness, including job loss, PTSD due to military service, or high medical bills that lead to eviction when one cannot pay their rent.  This could be you.  It was almost me.  Let me tell you a true story from my own life.  When I was quite young, 20 years old, I had dropped out of college due to health problems, and I had no money and nowhere to live except with my parents back at their home.  I faced the reality of becoming homeless, though, because I was not sober, and my parents did not want me to live with them when I was an active alcoholic.  I had to decide to try to get sober and attend AA meetings, or else I was on the streets.  I will never forget how close I came to homelessness.   

                In addition to my own experience with housing insecurity, I have learned a lot about homeless persons while volunteering with the Worcester Fellowship.  Here is a question for us to ponder: What can we as Christians do to show God’s love and mercy to the homeless population?  Here are three answers to that question that we can all employ when we interact with those who are homeless or disadvantaged.   

                First, show compassion.  One of the best ways to show God’s compassion to others is to simply listen to them.  Start up a conversation with someone who may be out of your comfort zone and listen to them talk about their life and their experiences.  This action will go a long way towards making the person feel loved.  Consider carrying Dunkin gift cards to offer to those who are begging when you see them. 

                Second, treat the homeless as equals.  Do not be afraid of those who are different from you.  For example, during a Worcester Fellowship service there is a time for the passing of the peace of Christ, as with many church services.  It is important to walk right up to your neighbor and wish them God’s peace and shake their hand.  When you see a homeless person on the street holding up a sign, make eye contact with them and smile and if they ask you for something, offer the Dunkin gift card you have been carrying with you.  God loves all His children equally, and we need to mirror that love. 

                Third, Christians must challenge societal norms that dictate that we must ostracize and exile those who are different and suffering.  Jesus set the example for us with the way he lived his life.  Jesus associated with tax collectors and prostitutes, in other words, sinners and those cast out by society.  Jesus healed and touched lepers, as well as saved and loved all of us, despite our circumstances.  Welcome those who are homeless and disadvantaged to your church, and pray for ways that you can improve their lives for the better.  One way that this church loves the homeless is by collecting money to purchase socks for them, and this gift can go a long way towards brightening someone’s day. 

                Jesus calls us to love each other, let us change the world one act of love at a time.  Amen. 

    Thank you for reading!  I have included the links for The Worcester Fellowship, as well as a local NH homeless advocacy group called Hundred Nights.  Please pray about how you may support them!  Also: The photos are from a Worcester Fellowship gathering in 2017, which is referenced in the sermon.  

    God Bless and Good Health, G. 

    Worcester Fellowship

    hundrednightsinc.org

  • Gratitude on my 39th Birthday

    Today is my 39th birthday, and, appropriately, the 30th blog entry of The Ladybug.  Wow, my last year of my 30’s has arrived! I have some reflections.  My first and initial reaction is: how the fuck did time pass so quickly?!  I thought I was just barely learning to be an adult and now I think I am officially a grown-up!  I live independently in my own apartment and manage my own money and drive my own car.  However, that said, I still need a lot of support to cope with this thing called life, as we all do.  It takes a village. None of us can exist alone in a vacuum, especially if you are an extrovert like me.  I am fortunate and blessed to have many good friends and loving family connections.  In addition, I receive excellent professional care for my struggles.  What I want to convey most in this post is how grateful I am for the beautiful life God has granted me!!  

    In honor of the gorgeous sunny fall day that has greeted me on my birthday, I want to share a top 5 gratitude list: 

    1: God is Good!  My faith is the most important thing in my life.  No matter how badly life seems to be going, I know that God will not abandon me.  I firmly believe that God loves me and works all things for my good (Romans 8:28).  I never have to fear, because in the end it will all be okay, and if it is not okay, then it is not the end. God has the ultimate control.  This belief set allows me to face every difficulty in my life, and we all know that life is not always easy.  May you, reader, be blessed, no matter what you are facing.  God is Good. 

    2: Love is a blessing.  While my romantic endeavors have never been super successful, which I do not plan to discuss in this blog, I have never had any lack of love in my life.  Love can come from many different places.  For example, my parents have raised me in a loving and supportive home.  My friends always rally around me when life is hard and make me laugh when life is good.  My extended family is kind and generous.  I could not ask for more love.  It is truly all around me! (Aww, so corny!)  

    3: I have always been blessed to have my basic needs met, including food, clean water, medical care, and shelter.  This is not the case for so many others in our country and across the world.  I know that leaner times are coming due to the direction of our current leadership in America, but I am still grateful.  I feel a deep connection to the homeless and to those in prisons because I have never known that pain.  I have been spared many heartaches.  Everyone suffers in this life; however, the degree of suffering varies.  I’m aware that my trials have been limited.   

    4: I have been exposed to the arts in a meaningful way.  I love watching ballet and listening to all forms of music.  In the past, I have experimented with creating paintings and collages.  Photography has always been a passion of mine, and I still enjoy capturing as many photos as possible.  Singing along to a favorite tune lifts my heart when I feel blue.  Visiting art museums and experiencing the genius of others has been a true gift.  Plays and film are also other art forms that I enjoy.  It is a true luxury to watch many differing movies, TV shows, and live theater performances.  Creativity is a beautiful expression of the human experience. 

    5: Writing.  Whether journaling, blogging, or working on my surprise project, writing feeds my soul in a special way.  In addition, I have been blessed to attend more than one university and to learn to improve my writing.  I dream of one day becoming a successful published author.  Let us not also forget the luxury of being able to read.  Many around the world, and in the USA, are illiterate, even if they do wish to read.  Writing and reading are blessings that I hope to remember to never take for granted.  In this theme, I would like to offer some advice: read a banned book while you still can!  There is an attack on works of quality literature now, and I feel compelled to urge all of my readers to use your minds and rebel!  That is my act of political defiance for the day!  

    As I turn the corner from “young adult” to “middle age,” I feel so much more confident in my own skin.  I know what I want, and I will not tolerate BS from anyone.  I have become a successful self-advocate, which is a crucial skill when one has physical and mental health issues like I experience.  Never be afraid to stand up for yourself!  I still have a way to go with my self-esteem and self-confidence, but both are in much better paces than when I turned 29 years old.  One final piece of advice from me to you: do not be afraid to seek help.  It may mean the difference between misery and survival.  More than that, life should be about thriving, not barely hanging on and surviving.  So, find a way to thrive, even if things feel messy.  Choose one small thing to accomplish and do it well.  Life is precious and fleeting, live it up!  And, of course, my favorite phrase to say, NEVER give up!!  Happy Birthday to me and thank you to all my readers for allowing me into your thoughts.  May you thrive and be happy!  With Peace, G. 

    PS This photo is me at home today, casual and relaxed at 39!

  • Perfectionism Part 2: My Truth and 10 Coping Skills for Depression

    I like to ask myself the question: How is it with my soul?  This is not a phrase unique to me, but one that I have heard from many religious leaders throughout my life.  Unfortunately, the truth of the answer to that question in my life is often messy.  Life is tough, and I find that there seems to always be a struggle.  However, there is another question I frequently ask myself that goes along with the first one: How do I want to appear on social media?  I VERY rarely tell the truth of the answer to question 1 when I consider the answer to question 2.  Social media seems to be too often a place for me to hide and deceive, rather than to be honest and raw.  No one sees the scars.  No one sees anything wrong.  I am perfect. 

                Well, today I want to pull the curtain back slightly and discuss a topic close to my heart which is mental health.  Yesterday, October 10th, was #Worldmentalhealthday and while I posted a nice photo and cute caption to my Instagram and Facebook accounts, I really was not sharing much.  Mental health has been a struggle for me since I was quite young, but the stigma surrounding it has often stopped me from dialoging openly about my experiences.  As I have shared on The Ladybug, my blog, I have been ill with a physical disease from a tick bite since mid-April 2025, and the journey to recovery has been a rough one.  What I have not said is the way this disease has changed my mental abilities.  Let’s talk about it.

                I have become extremely anxious and much more depressed since I got sick in April.  In addition, I have horrible bouts of brain fog and cognitive confusion that make it difficult for me to do my college schoolwork and do it well.  For the sake of this blog, I want to focus on talking about my depression.  I am extremely sensitive to medications for depression, and so, unfortunately, that line of treatment is unavailable to me.  I must rely mainly on lifestyle changes and coping skills learned in therapy to treat the symptoms.  This is very difficult.  I wish so much that there was a magic cure for the darkness that creeps into my mind.  I must thank my parents who have been Super supportive throughout my struggle, and my friends who have prayed for me.  God is Good, and I am not alone.

                While acknowledging the deep pain of difficult to treat depression, I also want to focus on all the many ways to attack this mental illness.  Here are some of the ways that I have been coping:

    1. Talking to a professional therapist and psychiatrist.  It is helpful for me to have an objective professional hear me discuss what is happening and support me with cognitive behavioral therapy sessions.  In addition, I see a Nurse Practitioner for extra support.
    2. Taking time to study the Bible and connect with God while journaling and listening to music.  This is my “Spirit Time,” and it sustains my soul with the light I need.
    3. Walks with the family dog outside in the sunlight, preferably through the woods.  Nature combined with gentle exercise can be quite healing.
    4. Looking at a relaxing magazine or loosing myself in a funny light-hearted book.  This changes my mental scenery.
    5. Not going on social media too much, and only remaining on sites that support my soul.  For example, I love ballet posts on Instagram, as well as inspirational Christian posts.
    6. Trying to keep eating and hydrating.  I tend to stop eating when I am depressed, and good nutrition is crucial.  In addition, staying sober, and only drinking favorite things like black coffee and matcha lattes is important!
    7. Talking!  I must not loose contact with those who love me!  I know I am not alone, and friendship and family, including church family, is a lovely tonic. 
    8. Writing.  You, readers, are a support for me as well, even if you did not know it.  I find a great deal of purpose through my writing, and typing away my crazy thoughts on The Ladybug, or the book I am currently writing, is quite meaningful.
    9. NEVER GIVE UP!!!  Putting that on repeat. NEVER GIVE UP!!!  Amen!
    10. Take it 5 minutes at a time when things get bad; every 24 hours is a victory!

    It was helpful for me to review these skills as I typed, and my hope is to help others. 

    My social media platforms show smiles non-stop, but I want those who struggle to know that it is okay not to be perfect, because I certainly am not!!  I have deeper thoughts and deeper pain that is a real and sometimes everyday burden.  You are not alone.  God is an ever-present help, just ask! 

    I also want to share that if someone is reading this and feels in crisis, please call 988, the national hotline.  Or visit www.afsp.org  

    The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention is a great resource for support!!

    Blessings my friends! Thank you for sharing the truth with me. G.

  • Perfectionism Part 1: The Church and its Influence

    I am a pastor’s daughter.  Let’s say that again with emphasis: I am a Pastor’s Daughter!!  Why does this matter?  I began addressing this topic in the, “Gaelle’s World,” section of my blog, The Ladybug, but I felt it deserved a full entry.  Being raised in the church, with Christian values, has placed a certain amount of pressure on me.  I do NOT at all blame my parents for this pressure, as it came primarily from church members, and was not something my parents instilled in me.  Nevertheless, being a pastor’s daughter is one reason that I have struggled with perfectionism from a very young age.  There are, of course, other contributors to perfectionism in my personality, but let’s start with the church.  This will be a three-part series in which I will cover the topic of perfectionism fully.  Stay tuned!!

                So, what do I mean by “The church?”  I am discussing the Christian church as a global whole for now, not a specific congregation that I have belonged to.  My parents are left-leaning politically, and raised me with primarily liberal values.  I was not brought up in a Christian Nationalist home or with any other type of conservative Christian theology.  However, I still felt suppressed by the comments and expectations of the members of my father’s churches.  For example, my clothing decisions, how I dyed my hair, the extra-curricular activities I did with my friends, the partners I chose to date, and even my sexuality felt critiqued.  My Dad was a pastor for The United Church of Christ, a relatively liberal Christian denomination, but I still felt pressure.  When I dyed my hair blue, I was told by a church-goer that it looked, “immature.”  I was only 14 years old! 

                Fast forward, and I have struggled to carve out my own comfortable church alliances as an adult because the Christian Nationalists have taken over so much of what is identified as “Christian” in the USA.  I now identify myself as a “Progressive Christian” every time I am asked about my faith, just to make sure that I am implying my beliefs correctly.  I am extremely liberal politically, and yet still feel that Jesus is my Lord.  Those two identities seem to be in conflict currently.  However, my perfectionism battle is finally feeling much better.  At 38, almost 39 years old, I am confident in ways that were missing during my childhood and 20’s.  When I was younger, The Church, and all the pressure and comments got to me in a way that no longer matters now.  I am so much more comfortable with myself, and I feel close to God in the way I understand Him as my Father and Protector. 

                Make no mistake, the pressure is still there in this country to conform to a perfect “Stepford wife” way of life if you are a Christian.  But, Nope, Not me!!  I will not dye my hair bleach blonde, put in extensions, wear barbie clothes, get my lips plumped, my breasts enhanced, and my hips shrunk.  Money does not rule my mind.  I’d rather be poor and be right with God then cave to The Christian Nationalist’s female ideal that wealthy men in right-wing conservative roles of power marry.  And, yes, that is a dig at Donald Trump, and he will probably sue me for insulting him and his cronies.  My battle cry these days is: Be myself and Be Free!  No perfect image to fit into for a perfect church going girl.  My true friends in Christ love me for me, and I accept my flat chest and chestnut/greying hair just fine.  God is perfect, I do not need to be.  I encourage you to find a church that supports you and loves you for all your little quirks.  Jesus preached love, let us spread it among one another!

                To be continued…

                With Blessings and Freedom, G. 

    PS If this topic stirs up your feelings with controversy, yay!  I am hoping to encourage you to think about your beliefs and question our current status quo in America.  Let me here your thoughts in the comments!

  • When my Spirit is in the Desert

    Confession: I am in a spiritual desert.  Perhaps you can relate.  Does the spirit just not feel quite as alive within you?  Well, that is my experience.  The major cause for me personally is stress!!!  I would love to believe that I am such a great Christian as to not drift away from God during intense periods of stress, but who am I kidding??  When life is hard or unfair, I blame God.  In my anger I step further and further away from Him.  It may be a childish reaction.  It may only make my circumstances more difficult.  And…it may lead to the desert.  Then I am alone and struggling. 

                So, what is the easy solution?  There is none!  But opening my eyes and looking around at my desert surroundings is the first step.  I must realize that my toes are sinking in the sand.  The desert is vast and mysterious.  The first step is admitting that I’ve wandered there.  If I stay in denial about my spiritual health, then God is unable to heal the relationship with me.  Let me be very clear about one fact: God never steps away from us; we step away from Him.  God always desires a loving and close bond with those He created.  God never causes bad things to happen to His beloved.  Instead, God longs for our relationship with Him to aid us in conquering the stress of a broken world. 

                The next step is sticking true to your personal spiritual rituals Even while you are in the desert.  For example, if you connect with God in nature, then take a walk!  If you connect with God through music, then lift your voice or other instrument!  If you find God in art, then dance or paint!  Never Give Up!  The key to finding your way through the desert spiritually is to keep on trudging under the sun’s hot rays.  Staying true to your passions connects you to the Spirit of Love.  In turn, the Spirit intercedes for you with God, as described in Romans 8:26-27 in the Bible.  I like to paraphrase this Scripture as such: the Spirit is a friend inside your heart that can relate to God what your thoughts and yearnings contain, all without words. 

                Ultimately, re-establishing a connection with God is the best tool for surviving the deep desert that we all may experience from time-to-time.  Therefore, a third tip I will share is that trying something new in your spiritual routine or coping skills set is a great way to re-gain that connection.  For example, in March 2024, I began volunteering to be a worship leader and sermon preacher at a local church.  Previously, I mostly volunteered doing mission work, which I loved.  However, I have now found that I have a passion for delivering sermons and organizing prayers.  I feel the Joy of God when I engage in these activities.  I find leading worship to be challenging and exciting as well.  I would not have felt these wonderful feelings if I was afraid to try something new!

                In addition, I want to make space for the fact that sometimes, engaging in new spiritual activities that require a healthy body or mind are not possible.  I, myself, have experienced this reality recently.  I have been struggling physically with a severe tick-borne illness, as well as the mental stress that results.  If you are depressed, or facing any other mental health emergency, please seek professional support. I am blessed to benefit from an excellent support system of professional mental health care.  Also, I would advise some other types of low-key forms of exercise.  Some types I have used include: a stationary-bike, a yoga mat, and 2lbs weights that allow me to “work-out” gently.  Movement can be beneficial for both chronic medical and mental illnesses.  I find that moving my body, even slowly, connects me to God.

                I will close by saying that though the journey is tough, it is worth it!  God is a beautiful constant in a world of chaos.  Draw close to Him, even if you are stressed, and He will respond.  Keep Going on the road of faith!  The desert is cruel and dusty, but even Jesus walked there, and with the aid of His Father in Heaven, Jesus walked out into eternal glory.  He will help you out of desert living as well!    

                In Living Water, G.

    PS: A picture of my time writing to you, Ladybug readers!!!

  • I’m Back! Let’s Talk Honestly About Anxiety and Faith

    I feel anxious.  I have been anxious all day.  Do you ever feel anxious?  It is hard for me to understand my anxiety, and even harder to control it.  I used to apply various substances as balms for my anxious mental health: cigarettes, alcoholic drinks, and benzodiazepine pills.  However, I now keep to a strict sober lifestyle.  So, what to do?  Over the years, psychologists have had me try all the usual “healthy” interventions, such as cognitive behavioral therapy or yoga and meditation.  And, yes, yoga and guided meditation are tools that I use on a regular basis.  However, when the anxiety is high and my system is on alert, these milder aids do nothing for me.   I need to invoke that which is higher.

                Prayer.  Praying is the ultimate soothing release for my anxious tendencies.  These prayers are messy and unfiltered.  They sometimes are not even coherent sentences or words.  God knows exactly what I need before I pray about it, and when I reach towards Him, the relief comes quickly.  It is amazing to me that I worship a God who loves me so much that He accepts all my worries and concerns, whether large or small.  Everything is okay, I can turn it over to the One who is really in charge.  Thank God! 

                Perhaps you find my approach to simple?  Do you doubt that prayers whispered in urgency can really relieve tough anxious pain?  You are not alone, I used to feel that way, too.  My faith as a young adult in my early 20’s was pretty much non-existent.  I was going through a challenging time with my mental wellbeing, and I thought God had abandoned me.  There were many moments when I wanted to give up.  However, through the love of my family and friends, and the support of professionals, I survived.  My faith in God began to resurface, and I started a long journey back to being a believer in Christ.  Many times, my faith has been tested over the years.  There have been scary times with both my physical and mental health.  But God has always saved and protected me.  In gratitude I have turned my life over to Him. 

    For example, my recent long absence from this blog, The Ladybug, was due to a serious physical illness.  I woke up April 20, 2025, Easter Sunday, and was dreadfully sick.  The eventual diagnosis was a tick-borne illness similar to Malaria, and I was placed on lots of medication and rest.  I needed help to do everything, because my abilities with basic living were impacted.  I have taken a long break from posting current photos of myself online, due to the full-body rash that itched and bothered me.  I struggled with a constant fever and abdominal pain on both sides of my chest.  Part of my relapse with anxiety is a consequence of the illness as well, because it attacks the nervous system.  Perhaps the worst symptom has been the fatigue and exhaustion, which I can only compare to how I felt when I had covid-19.  All to say, it would have been so easy to give up on God and just get mad at the situation I was in. 

    But instead, my faith is what got me through, and is continuing to sustain me through, all these recent tough days!  God is Good!  He loves me and longs to be in relationship with me, talking through prayer and devotion.  Again, He surrounded me with loving people, my parents, and doctors, and I was never alone.  Yes, I had moments of self-pity and despair, but overall, my feeling is one of gratitude for God’s great gift of life.  I hope my story can inspire you to try saying a prayer.  Are you anxious?  Are you unhappy?  Going through a struggle?  Pray.  Whisper a few words to the maker of the universe, and wait to hear His whisper back.  We are never alone, and there is no problem in this life that Jesus has not already walked through.  Let go and trust.  Reach out and He will hold you close in return.

    Wishing You Peace, G.

    PS I am still in recovery from the tick-borne illness, but stay tuned to The Ladybug!  New posts will be going up!!  Thank you to my readers!

  • God’s Presence During Hardships

    How does one cope when times are overwhelming?  Recently, I have been feeling stressed for both societal and personal reasons.  The USA is in a difficult spot politically, with a constant stream of bad news.  In my own life, I am facing uncertainties medically, and am in a wait-and-see period.  However, I can honestly say that despite these set-backs, I am feeling grateful and blessed.  You may wonder if I am crazy and how this is possible…well, let me share my secrets.

                My faith in God is the core of my life.  I believe that I am never alone in the struggles I face.  There is a greater force in the universe that guides my path.  As a progressive Christian, this season of lent has been a time to draw closer to God and His promises for my life.  God never promises that life will be easy or pain free.  Instead, He assures us that we never travel this bumpy life alone.  We have a loving companion in Jesus Christ, who comforts our hearts and holds us while we shed tears.  There is a song that was written on the walls of a Nazi concentration camp during World War II by an anonymous author with the words, “I believe in God, even when He is silent.”  The incredible faith of the author amazes me.  During our tough times, God never disappears or walks away from us.  Even when we can not sense Him as strongly, He is right there with His loving arms wrapped around us. 

                You may be asking yourself; how do I connect to God if I can not feel Him?  My first answer is always the same: PRAY!  Prayer is a great communication tool that God has gifted to us.  Your prayer does not have to be perfect, pretty, or even make sense.  Just start talking.  Say what you need.  A simple prayer of HELP is always a good start.  Remember, God already knows what is going on in your life and what your needs are.  He’s waiting to establish a loving dialogue with you.  Another useful way to pray is to have a mantra, a word to repeat until you feel calm, such as “Abba” or “Father” or “Jesus.”  The idea of prayer is to create a bond between you and the spirit of God; therefore, the technicalities and perfections of your words do not matter, only that you try.  God is waiting to hear you!

                Another great way to connect with God and feel God’s peace is to appreciate the beauties of the natural world.  Depending on your circumstances and health, this may look like sitting in your back yard watching the birds, taking a walk in the woods, or even hiking a mountain trail.  I have always found something incredibly soothing about nature and enjoying God’s creation.  Meditation comes easily to me when I am alone with trees and flowers.  The noise of man-made vehicles and busy streets blocks me from relaxation.  However, if I can escape to a small moment of being “one with the universe” through observing nature, I feel I am at home.  Nothing can rattle me as I feel God gently whisper, “If I can care for all of this, how much more do I love you, dear one?”  When you feel like life is just too much to bear, find time to touch your palm to a tree trunk or flower petal, and know how much God loves you.

                Finally, take time to read God’s Word.  We are all very busy in American society, and taking time to read the Bible seems impossible at times.  It may also seem intimidating to read a book like the Bible, with so many stories you may wonder where to start.  I suggest finding a guided devotion that you enjoy to help your journey of the Word.  I use The Upper Room and The Bible App.  (Neither of these are sponsored) They are tools that help me to stay focused during my devotion time.  In addition, I find several of the Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) books and meditation materials to be helpful in creating a spiritual reading program.  AA guidebooks are great if you are unsure of where to begin with the Bible.  Again, the purpose of studying written Word about God is not about trying to achieve perfection.  Rather, the purpose is to connect you with the loving presence of the Spirit, in hopes that your stress and loneliness melts away.  God is here, waiting for you to reach out!

                To return to the stressors I mentioned at the beginning of this post, both national news and personal medical concerns, I find everything easier to handle and digest when I have armed myself with a close and personal relationship with God.  I will say again, my faith is my rock, and it sees me through the difficulties of life.  I urge you to seek out God through the channels I have mentioned, or through your own creative pathways.  Connecting to a higher power is a chance to find freedom from your stress, and to let go of your burdens for a few hours and rest under God’s wings.  You do not have to face challenges by yourself.  There is a strength greater than human strength, and you can tap into that power for peace at any time, all you need do is ask.

                With Love, G.

  • Unity: Loving the Differences

    I am inspired by Senator Cory Booker’s record-breaking 25-hour senate speech that took place from Monday to Tuesday.  As I tuned in to watch Senator Booker’s impassioned talk, I was struck by his call for unity.  He specifically emphasized that the problems which Americans are facing are, “not right or left, but right or wrong.”  I agree that division in our country is being caused by problems that are a matter of good vs. evil, and are not a matter of Republican vs. Democrat.  In fact, Senator Booker repeatedly spoke about his desire to work in a bipartisan way.  I firmly believe in an America where political leaders can join for the good of the people, the nation, and the Constitution, without letting party loyalty cloud their judgement. 

    The issues I have with the Trump administration are, in fact, issues of morality, and not politics.  Specifically, many of my issues with the current leadership involve my belief that they are acting in a way that expressly goes against the teachings of the Bible.  Jesus in his ministry welcomed the poor, the ostracized, the immigrant, the sick, the widowed, the homeless, the disabled, and the sick.  Donald Trump does not care about anyone in these categories.  All the current president’s policies attack those that the Bible supports.  I call myself a progressive Christian, and as such, I can not support those in power who are attacking all my beliefs.  I must peacefully resist.

    However, this strong opinion of mine raises an interesting dilemma: do I then also not support my friends who are Trump followers?  I indeed have many friends and acquaintances who are much more conservative politically than I am, and I know many voted for Trump in the presidential race in November 2024.  How do I reconcile my moral compass and my values as a progressive Christian with my social circles?  Well, what would Jesus do?  Again, I must turn to the Bible for guidance. 

    A verse from the Bible App caught my eye, “Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” 1 John 4:11.  I must love those whom God puts in my life.  Jesus’ gospel is about love.  Jesus constantly shared love with everyone He met.  The quote from 1 John is a reminder of God’s desire for Christians to be a loving presence in a broken and fallen world.  Loving others is not easy, especially when there are differences of opinion.  But I am determined to rise to the challenge of loving those I disagree with, because God is calling me to do so. 

    Coming full-circle to Senator Booker’s speech, I want to emphasize that a spirit of unity, and a commitment to love, does not mean that I condone evil.  The Trump administration is enacting some truly evil policies, and I will let my pen and my vote speak for me.  I will follow my values system and my conscience when I make decisions about my life and my actions.  But I must constantly persevere with an attitude of compassion, empathy, and respect for my fellow Americans, despite which political party they belong to. 

    America is being tested.  Can we respond to the threat on our Constitution and our laws?  Can we protect the most vulnerable populations that live in this great country?  Are we truly the land of the free?  We must answer this crossroads moment in history with a resounding cry of unity and love for all, and a defense of all we hold dear for who we are as a nation.  In contrast, an approach of division and hate will only bring about our downfall.  Please join me in advocating for what is just and fair, whether you are on the right or the left side, let us be together on the American side.

    With Justice, G.

  • Forgiving Societies/National Leaders

    Are you struggling with today’s news? Me too! I have copied below the sermon I wrote for today’s service at a church where I provide pulpit supply. I hope it will help you! The topic is on forgiveness, specifically forgiving societies and national leaders. I feel that this topic is quite relevant to the concerns of today’s world. Unfortunately, I was sick today and did not deliver this message in person, and so a fellow church member did a wonderful job bringing it to life on my behalf. However, I believe that the message of forgiveness is an important one, and I hope you find inspiration from my take on this topic. Thank you. Blessings, G.

    Scripture: New Testament:  Luke 23: 33-34

                                                                Sermon

                                        Forgiving Societies/National Leaders

                Good morning.  Today is the final Sunday in the sermon series on forgiveness.  We will be looking at forgiving a society or national leader who you feel has caused suffering.  This is an extremely difficult type of forgiveness, because we often do not have control over decisions made by government leaders, even though those decisions may affect us negatively.  For this reason, I believe that forgiving societal policies or governing officials is the hardest form of forgiveness, and perhaps is not always possible.  However, we can look to both Jesus and to other devout Christians for examples of how to achieve forgiveness.

                First, I would like to look at the words of Jesus from today’s scripture reading.  As Jesus is being crucified for crimes he did not commit, he speaks the words, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”  A short but powerful sentence.  Jesus is forgiving the political and religious leaders who nailed him to the cross.  He knows that they are ignorant of the enormity of the evil in their actions.  Jesus’ forgiveness in his moment of suffering and death amazes me.  How can I hope to replicate His actions and attitude?  If I were in a similar situation, where my life was tormented or taken due to a political leader, could I forgive that person?  Would I be able to follow the example of Jesus?

                I would like to tell you the true story of a woman who did achieve the seemingly impossible, and followed the example of forgiveness demonstrated by Jesus.  I met Irene Gut Opdyke when I was 14 years old while attending a reading for her book tour in May 2001.  Mrs. Opdyke wrote a book entitled In My Hands, about her experiences as a resistance fighter during World War II.  She was personally responsible for rescuing 16 Jewish people, at risk to her own life and safety.  When I met her face-to-face while having my copy of her book signed, she took my face in her hands and whispered the word, “Beautiful.”  I looked into her clear blue eyes and I felt a peace and calm come over me, as if I were meeting an angel.  I will never forget that moment.  Let me tell you more of her story.

                Mrs. Opdyke was born Irene Gut in Poland on May 5, 1918.  When Word War II began, she was 17 years old, and training as a nurse in a Polish hospital.  The war took her across Poland to many locations as the country became occupied by the Russians and the Germans.  Finally, she ended up working at a dining hall doing slave labor for the Nazis.  Initially, Irene was unaware of the extent of violence and evil that the Nazis were enacting on the Jewish people.  However, by age 20, Irene began to witness first-hand what the Nazis were capable of, and she dedicated herself to fighting against them.  She began slowly at first, by smuggling food into concentration camps. Soon, she had the opportunity to expand her resistance.

                While working at the dining hall, Irene gained the attention and favor of an older Nazi major, who I will call Major R. for ease of pronunciation.  Irene used his affection to press her advantage in aiding the Jews in the nearby camp and ghetto.  Eventually, Major R. asked Irene to move in with him as a housekeeper at a nearby villa.  Irene set up the basement of the villa as a hiding place, and kept 13 Jews secret whom she had rescued from a murderous raid by the Nazis.  However, one day she was caught with two of her Jewish rescues in the villa’s kitchen by Major R.  She begged him not to turn herself and the Jews in to be killed.  Major R. was furious, but he agreed to keep her secret if she would become his mistress.  Irene agreed, feeling that she had no other choice, even though it was, as she described it, “shameful and humiliating.”

                Throughout her recounting of the experiences of the war, and all the suffering she endured so that she might aid the Jews, Irene described a devout faith in God.  There were periods where she wondered if God was around, due to the evil she was viewing, such as public executions.  But Irene always came back to prayer and visiting churches whenever she was faced with tough situations.  She never lost hope, and she never gave up on finding small moments of God’s love with her companions.  Irene remarked more than once of the beauty of nature that God created which seemed untouched by the ravages of war.  For example, the birds would still sing, and the seasons would still change.  The day after Major R. took her as his mistress, the first thing Irene did was attend a mass at the local church.  She said in her book, “I had God’s blessing, I was never more sure of anything.”

                I believe that it was this intense faith in God, which sustained Irene during the perils and trials of World War II, that eventually led to a moment of forgiveness towards Major R.  He had forced her to come with him while the Germans were retreating from the Russians at the end of the war.  At night, while he was securing her a hotel room, she said, “In spite of everything, I felt grateful to him; he had helped me save many lives.  I was already forgiving him for what he had put me through.”  When Major R. left the hotel for the night, Irene escaped him, and joined the resistance guerilla fighters who were living nearby in the woods.  They were the only people she knew who would look after her.

    Irene began to confront her anger at the Germans and Russians for invading Poland by acting as a spy for the resistance.  However, she felt uncomfortable with the violence of the guerilla army, and eventually left to look for her family.  When her search for her loved ones was unproductive, she transitioned to working at a hospital for displaced Jews and used her old nursing skills. These steps aided Irene in a slow process of accepting her experiences in the war.

    In a similar way, when we feel that forgiveness for a government is too hard to accomplish, we can take a step towards forgiveness through our behavior.  Perhaps we cannot change the world, but we can have an impact such as the one Irene had.  By following God’s will through righteous action, we free ourselves from the burden of anger in our hearts that can block forgiveness.  We must let God hold our leaders accountable for their sins.  It is only our job to take what action we can to combat injustices. 

                Irene Gut Opdyke eventually immigrated to America, and lived to age 85.  She wrote her book as a response to Holocaust deniers in the USA.  She began touring for her book, which was published in 1999, to remind Americans that the Holocaust was true and terrible.  However, her overwhelming message was one of faith in God and she emphasized the love we must have for each other.  In the dedication to her book the words, “Remember, love not hate,” stood out to me.  She lived through tragedy, but she triumphed with a message of love and forgiveness despite it all.  I encourage you to learn from her example.  I am truly humbled by her story, and the life she led.  God calls us close to Him, to live, love, and forgive like Him.  If Irene Gut Opdyke can forgive a Nazi officer and let God work through her, we can follow in her wake in our everyday lives.  Let us gain courage from the example of Jesus and His servant Irene, to act with a forgiving heart.