The Ladybug

Category: Religion

  • When my Spirit is in the Desert

    Confession: I am in a spiritual desert.  Perhaps you can relate.  Does the spirit just not feel quite as alive within you?  Well, that is my experience.  The major cause for me personally is stress!!!  I would love to believe that I am such a great Christian as to not drift away from God during intense periods of stress, but who am I kidding??  When life is hard or unfair, I blame God.  In my anger I step further and further away from Him.  It may be a childish reaction.  It may only make my circumstances more difficult.  And…it may lead to the desert.  Then I am alone and struggling. 

                So, what is the easy solution?  There is none!  But opening my eyes and looking around at my desert surroundings is the first step.  I must realize that my toes are sinking in the sand.  The desert is vast and mysterious.  The first step is admitting that I’ve wandered there.  If I stay in denial about my spiritual health, then God is unable to heal the relationship with me.  Let me be very clear about one fact: God never steps away from us; we step away from Him.  God always desires a loving and close bond with those He created.  God never causes bad things to happen to His beloved.  Instead, God longs for our relationship with Him to aid us in conquering the stress of a broken world. 

                The next step is sticking true to your personal spiritual rituals Even while you are in the desert.  For example, if you connect with God in nature, then take a walk!  If you connect with God through music, then lift your voice or other instrument!  If you find God in art, then dance or paint!  Never Give Up!  The key to finding your way through the desert spiritually is to keep on trudging under the sun’s hot rays.  Staying true to your passions connects you to the Spirit of Love.  In turn, the Spirit intercedes for you with God, as described in Romans 8:26-27 in the Bible.  I like to paraphrase this Scripture as such: the Spirit is a friend inside your heart that can relate to God what your thoughts and yearnings contain, all without words. 

                Ultimately, re-establishing a connection with God is the best tool for surviving the deep desert that we all may experience from time-to-time.  Therefore, a third tip I will share is that trying something new in your spiritual routine or coping skills set is a great way to re-gain that connection.  For example, in March 2024, I began volunteering to be a worship leader and sermon preacher at a local church.  Previously, I mostly volunteered doing mission work, which I loved.  However, I have now found that I have a passion for delivering sermons and organizing prayers.  I feel the Joy of God when I engage in these activities.  I find leading worship to be challenging and exciting as well.  I would not have felt these wonderful feelings if I was afraid to try something new!

                In addition, I want to make space for the fact that sometimes, engaging in new spiritual activities that require a healthy body or mind are not possible.  I, myself, have experienced this reality recently.  I have been struggling physically with a severe tick-borne illness, as well as the mental stress that results.  If you are depressed, or facing any other mental health emergency, please seek professional support. I am blessed to benefit from an excellent support system of professional mental health care.  Also, I would advise some other types of low-key forms of exercise.  Some types I have used include: a stationary-bike, a yoga mat, and 2lbs weights that allow me to “work-out” gently.  Movement can be beneficial for both chronic medical and mental illnesses.  I find that moving my body, even slowly, connects me to God.

                I will close by saying that though the journey is tough, it is worth it!  God is a beautiful constant in a world of chaos.  Draw close to Him, even if you are stressed, and He will respond.  Keep Going on the road of faith!  The desert is cruel and dusty, but even Jesus walked there, and with the aid of His Father in Heaven, Jesus walked out into eternal glory.  He will help you out of desert living as well!    

                In Living Water, G.

    PS: A picture of my time writing to you, Ladybug readers!!!

  • I’m Back! Let’s Talk Honestly About Anxiety and Faith

    I feel anxious.  I have been anxious all day.  Do you ever feel anxious?  It is hard for me to understand my anxiety, and even harder to control it.  I used to apply various substances as balms for my anxious mental health: cigarettes, alcoholic drinks, and benzodiazepine pills.  However, I now keep to a strict sober lifestyle.  So, what to do?  Over the years, psychologists have had me try all the usual “healthy” interventions, such as cognitive behavioral therapy or yoga and meditation.  And, yes, yoga and guided meditation are tools that I use on a regular basis.  However, when the anxiety is high and my system is on alert, these milder aids do nothing for me.   I need to invoke that which is higher.

                Prayer.  Praying is the ultimate soothing release for my anxious tendencies.  These prayers are messy and unfiltered.  They sometimes are not even coherent sentences or words.  God knows exactly what I need before I pray about it, and when I reach towards Him, the relief comes quickly.  It is amazing to me that I worship a God who loves me so much that He accepts all my worries and concerns, whether large or small.  Everything is okay, I can turn it over to the One who is really in charge.  Thank God! 

                Perhaps you find my approach to simple?  Do you doubt that prayers whispered in urgency can really relieve tough anxious pain?  You are not alone, I used to feel that way, too.  My faith as a young adult in my early 20’s was pretty much non-existent.  I was going through a challenging time with my mental wellbeing, and I thought God had abandoned me.  There were many moments when I wanted to give up.  However, through the love of my family and friends, and the support of professionals, I survived.  My faith in God began to resurface, and I started a long journey back to being a believer in Christ.  Many times, my faith has been tested over the years.  There have been scary times with both my physical and mental health.  But God has always saved and protected me.  In gratitude I have turned my life over to Him. 

    For example, my recent long absence from this blog, The Ladybug, was due to a serious physical illness.  I woke up April 20, 2025, Easter Sunday, and was dreadfully sick.  The eventual diagnosis was a tick-borne illness similar to Malaria, and I was placed on lots of medication and rest.  I needed help to do everything, because my abilities with basic living were impacted.  I have taken a long break from posting current photos of myself online, due to the full-body rash that itched and bothered me.  I struggled with a constant fever and abdominal pain on both sides of my chest.  Part of my relapse with anxiety is a consequence of the illness as well, because it attacks the nervous system.  Perhaps the worst symptom has been the fatigue and exhaustion, which I can only compare to how I felt when I had covid-19.  All to say, it would have been so easy to give up on God and just get mad at the situation I was in. 

    But instead, my faith is what got me through, and is continuing to sustain me through, all these recent tough days!  God is Good!  He loves me and longs to be in relationship with me, talking through prayer and devotion.  Again, He surrounded me with loving people, my parents, and doctors, and I was never alone.  Yes, I had moments of self-pity and despair, but overall, my feeling is one of gratitude for God’s great gift of life.  I hope my story can inspire you to try saying a prayer.  Are you anxious?  Are you unhappy?  Going through a struggle?  Pray.  Whisper a few words to the maker of the universe, and wait to hear His whisper back.  We are never alone, and there is no problem in this life that Jesus has not already walked through.  Let go and trust.  Reach out and He will hold you close in return.

    Wishing You Peace, G.

    PS I am still in recovery from the tick-borne illness, but stay tuned to The Ladybug!  New posts will be going up!!  Thank you to my readers!

  • God’s Presence During Hardships

    How does one cope when times are overwhelming?  Recently, I have been feeling stressed for both societal and personal reasons.  The USA is in a difficult spot politically, with a constant stream of bad news.  In my own life, I am facing uncertainties medically, and am in a wait-and-see period.  However, I can honestly say that despite these set-backs, I am feeling grateful and blessed.  You may wonder if I am crazy and how this is possible…well, let me share my secrets.

                My faith in God is the core of my life.  I believe that I am never alone in the struggles I face.  There is a greater force in the universe that guides my path.  As a progressive Christian, this season of lent has been a time to draw closer to God and His promises for my life.  God never promises that life will be easy or pain free.  Instead, He assures us that we never travel this bumpy life alone.  We have a loving companion in Jesus Christ, who comforts our hearts and holds us while we shed tears.  There is a song that was written on the walls of a Nazi concentration camp during World War II by an anonymous author with the words, “I believe in God, even when He is silent.”  The incredible faith of the author amazes me.  During our tough times, God never disappears or walks away from us.  Even when we can not sense Him as strongly, He is right there with His loving arms wrapped around us. 

                You may be asking yourself; how do I connect to God if I can not feel Him?  My first answer is always the same: PRAY!  Prayer is a great communication tool that God has gifted to us.  Your prayer does not have to be perfect, pretty, or even make sense.  Just start talking.  Say what you need.  A simple prayer of HELP is always a good start.  Remember, God already knows what is going on in your life and what your needs are.  He’s waiting to establish a loving dialogue with you.  Another useful way to pray is to have a mantra, a word to repeat until you feel calm, such as “Abba” or “Father” or “Jesus.”  The idea of prayer is to create a bond between you and the spirit of God; therefore, the technicalities and perfections of your words do not matter, only that you try.  God is waiting to hear you!

                Another great way to connect with God and feel God’s peace is to appreciate the beauties of the natural world.  Depending on your circumstances and health, this may look like sitting in your back yard watching the birds, taking a walk in the woods, or even hiking a mountain trail.  I have always found something incredibly soothing about nature and enjoying God’s creation.  Meditation comes easily to me when I am alone with trees and flowers.  The noise of man-made vehicles and busy streets blocks me from relaxation.  However, if I can escape to a small moment of being “one with the universe” through observing nature, I feel I am at home.  Nothing can rattle me as I feel God gently whisper, “If I can care for all of this, how much more do I love you, dear one?”  When you feel like life is just too much to bear, find time to touch your palm to a tree trunk or flower petal, and know how much God loves you.

                Finally, take time to read God’s Word.  We are all very busy in American society, and taking time to read the Bible seems impossible at times.  It may also seem intimidating to read a book like the Bible, with so many stories you may wonder where to start.  I suggest finding a guided devotion that you enjoy to help your journey of the Word.  I use The Upper Room and The Bible App.  (Neither of these are sponsored) They are tools that help me to stay focused during my devotion time.  In addition, I find several of the Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) books and meditation materials to be helpful in creating a spiritual reading program.  AA guidebooks are great if you are unsure of where to begin with the Bible.  Again, the purpose of studying written Word about God is not about trying to achieve perfection.  Rather, the purpose is to connect you with the loving presence of the Spirit, in hopes that your stress and loneliness melts away.  God is here, waiting for you to reach out!

                To return to the stressors I mentioned at the beginning of this post, both national news and personal medical concerns, I find everything easier to handle and digest when I have armed myself with a close and personal relationship with God.  I will say again, my faith is my rock, and it sees me through the difficulties of life.  I urge you to seek out God through the channels I have mentioned, or through your own creative pathways.  Connecting to a higher power is a chance to find freedom from your stress, and to let go of your burdens for a few hours and rest under God’s wings.  You do not have to face challenges by yourself.  There is a strength greater than human strength, and you can tap into that power for peace at any time, all you need do is ask.

                With Love, G.

  • Unity: Loving the Differences

    I am inspired by Senator Cory Booker’s record-breaking 25-hour senate speech that took place from Monday to Tuesday.  As I tuned in to watch Senator Booker’s impassioned talk, I was struck by his call for unity.  He specifically emphasized that the problems which Americans are facing are, “not right or left, but right or wrong.”  I agree that division in our country is being caused by problems that are a matter of good vs. evil, and are not a matter of Republican vs. Democrat.  In fact, Senator Booker repeatedly spoke about his desire to work in a bipartisan way.  I firmly believe in an America where political leaders can join for the good of the people, the nation, and the Constitution, without letting party loyalty cloud their judgement. 

    The issues I have with the Trump administration are, in fact, issues of morality, and not politics.  Specifically, many of my issues with the current leadership involve my belief that they are acting in a way that expressly goes against the teachings of the Bible.  Jesus in his ministry welcomed the poor, the ostracized, the immigrant, the sick, the widowed, the homeless, the disabled, and the sick.  Donald Trump does not care about anyone in these categories.  All the current president’s policies attack those that the Bible supports.  I call myself a progressive Christian, and as such, I can not support those in power who are attacking all my beliefs.  I must peacefully resist.

    However, this strong opinion of mine raises an interesting dilemma: do I then also not support my friends who are Trump followers?  I indeed have many friends and acquaintances who are much more conservative politically than I am, and I know many voted for Trump in the presidential race in November 2024.  How do I reconcile my moral compass and my values as a progressive Christian with my social circles?  Well, what would Jesus do?  Again, I must turn to the Bible for guidance. 

    A verse from the Bible App caught my eye, “Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” 1 John 4:11.  I must love those whom God puts in my life.  Jesus’ gospel is about love.  Jesus constantly shared love with everyone He met.  The quote from 1 John is a reminder of God’s desire for Christians to be a loving presence in a broken and fallen world.  Loving others is not easy, especially when there are differences of opinion.  But I am determined to rise to the challenge of loving those I disagree with, because God is calling me to do so. 

    Coming full-circle to Senator Booker’s speech, I want to emphasize that a spirit of unity, and a commitment to love, does not mean that I condone evil.  The Trump administration is enacting some truly evil policies, and I will let my pen and my vote speak for me.  I will follow my values system and my conscience when I make decisions about my life and my actions.  But I must constantly persevere with an attitude of compassion, empathy, and respect for my fellow Americans, despite which political party they belong to. 

    America is being tested.  Can we respond to the threat on our Constitution and our laws?  Can we protect the most vulnerable populations that live in this great country?  Are we truly the land of the free?  We must answer this crossroads moment in history with a resounding cry of unity and love for all, and a defense of all we hold dear for who we are as a nation.  In contrast, an approach of division and hate will only bring about our downfall.  Please join me in advocating for what is just and fair, whether you are on the right or the left side, let us be together on the American side.

    With Justice, G.

  • Forgiving Societies/National Leaders

    Are you struggling with today’s news? Me too! I have copied below the sermon I wrote for today’s service at a church where I provide pulpit supply. I hope it will help you! The topic is on forgiveness, specifically forgiving societies and national leaders. I feel that this topic is quite relevant to the concerns of today’s world. Unfortunately, I was sick today and did not deliver this message in person, and so a fellow church member did a wonderful job bringing it to life on my behalf. However, I believe that the message of forgiveness is an important one, and I hope you find inspiration from my take on this topic. Thank you. Blessings, G.

    Scripture: New Testament:  Luke 23: 33-34

                                                                Sermon

                                        Forgiving Societies/National Leaders

                Good morning.  Today is the final Sunday in the sermon series on forgiveness.  We will be looking at forgiving a society or national leader who you feel has caused suffering.  This is an extremely difficult type of forgiveness, because we often do not have control over decisions made by government leaders, even though those decisions may affect us negatively.  For this reason, I believe that forgiving societal policies or governing officials is the hardest form of forgiveness, and perhaps is not always possible.  However, we can look to both Jesus and to other devout Christians for examples of how to achieve forgiveness.

                First, I would like to look at the words of Jesus from today’s scripture reading.  As Jesus is being crucified for crimes he did not commit, he speaks the words, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”  A short but powerful sentence.  Jesus is forgiving the political and religious leaders who nailed him to the cross.  He knows that they are ignorant of the enormity of the evil in their actions.  Jesus’ forgiveness in his moment of suffering and death amazes me.  How can I hope to replicate His actions and attitude?  If I were in a similar situation, where my life was tormented or taken due to a political leader, could I forgive that person?  Would I be able to follow the example of Jesus?

                I would like to tell you the true story of a woman who did achieve the seemingly impossible, and followed the example of forgiveness demonstrated by Jesus.  I met Irene Gut Opdyke when I was 14 years old while attending a reading for her book tour in May 2001.  Mrs. Opdyke wrote a book entitled In My Hands, about her experiences as a resistance fighter during World War II.  She was personally responsible for rescuing 16 Jewish people, at risk to her own life and safety.  When I met her face-to-face while having my copy of her book signed, she took my face in her hands and whispered the word, “Beautiful.”  I looked into her clear blue eyes and I felt a peace and calm come over me, as if I were meeting an angel.  I will never forget that moment.  Let me tell you more of her story.

                Mrs. Opdyke was born Irene Gut in Poland on May 5, 1918.  When Word War II began, she was 17 years old, and training as a nurse in a Polish hospital.  The war took her across Poland to many locations as the country became occupied by the Russians and the Germans.  Finally, she ended up working at a dining hall doing slave labor for the Nazis.  Initially, Irene was unaware of the extent of violence and evil that the Nazis were enacting on the Jewish people.  However, by age 20, Irene began to witness first-hand what the Nazis were capable of, and she dedicated herself to fighting against them.  She began slowly at first, by smuggling food into concentration camps. Soon, she had the opportunity to expand her resistance.

                While working at the dining hall, Irene gained the attention and favor of an older Nazi major, who I will call Major R. for ease of pronunciation.  Irene used his affection to press her advantage in aiding the Jews in the nearby camp and ghetto.  Eventually, Major R. asked Irene to move in with him as a housekeeper at a nearby villa.  Irene set up the basement of the villa as a hiding place, and kept 13 Jews secret whom she had rescued from a murderous raid by the Nazis.  However, one day she was caught with two of her Jewish rescues in the villa’s kitchen by Major R.  She begged him not to turn herself and the Jews in to be killed.  Major R. was furious, but he agreed to keep her secret if she would become his mistress.  Irene agreed, feeling that she had no other choice, even though it was, as she described it, “shameful and humiliating.”

                Throughout her recounting of the experiences of the war, and all the suffering she endured so that she might aid the Jews, Irene described a devout faith in God.  There were periods where she wondered if God was around, due to the evil she was viewing, such as public executions.  But Irene always came back to prayer and visiting churches whenever she was faced with tough situations.  She never lost hope, and she never gave up on finding small moments of God’s love with her companions.  Irene remarked more than once of the beauty of nature that God created which seemed untouched by the ravages of war.  For example, the birds would still sing, and the seasons would still change.  The day after Major R. took her as his mistress, the first thing Irene did was attend a mass at the local church.  She said in her book, “I had God’s blessing, I was never more sure of anything.”

                I believe that it was this intense faith in God, which sustained Irene during the perils and trials of World War II, that eventually led to a moment of forgiveness towards Major R.  He had forced her to come with him while the Germans were retreating from the Russians at the end of the war.  At night, while he was securing her a hotel room, she said, “In spite of everything, I felt grateful to him; he had helped me save many lives.  I was already forgiving him for what he had put me through.”  When Major R. left the hotel for the night, Irene escaped him, and joined the resistance guerilla fighters who were living nearby in the woods.  They were the only people she knew who would look after her.

    Irene began to confront her anger at the Germans and Russians for invading Poland by acting as a spy for the resistance.  However, she felt uncomfortable with the violence of the guerilla army, and eventually left to look for her family.  When her search for her loved ones was unproductive, she transitioned to working at a hospital for displaced Jews and used her old nursing skills. These steps aided Irene in a slow process of accepting her experiences in the war.

    In a similar way, when we feel that forgiveness for a government is too hard to accomplish, we can take a step towards forgiveness through our behavior.  Perhaps we cannot change the world, but we can have an impact such as the one Irene had.  By following God’s will through righteous action, we free ourselves from the burden of anger in our hearts that can block forgiveness.  We must let God hold our leaders accountable for their sins.  It is only our job to take what action we can to combat injustices. 

                Irene Gut Opdyke eventually immigrated to America, and lived to age 85.  She wrote her book as a response to Holocaust deniers in the USA.  She began touring for her book, which was published in 1999, to remind Americans that the Holocaust was true and terrible.  However, her overwhelming message was one of faith in God and she emphasized the love we must have for each other.  In the dedication to her book the words, “Remember, love not hate,” stood out to me.  She lived through tragedy, but she triumphed with a message of love and forgiveness despite it all.  I encourage you to learn from her example.  I am truly humbled by her story, and the life she led.  God calls us close to Him, to live, love, and forgive like Him.  If Irene Gut Opdyke can forgive a Nazi officer and let God work through her, we can follow in her wake in our everyday lives.  Let us gain courage from the example of Jesus and His servant Irene, to act with a forgiving heart.

  • Laws Off My Body!

    Today on The Ladybug, I want to talk about another controversial topic: Sex and birth control.  As a 38-year-old woman, I have decided not to have children.  I feel confident, happy, and secure in my resolve to not be a mother.  My life is about many joys and goals, but being a parent is not one of them.  This decision was not made because I hate children, but instead, simply because I know myself well, and I know that motherhood is not for me.  Being a mother is an important and glorious role, but one that I have never aspired to achieve.  With that said, I deeply respect my friends who are mothers, and I have a loving and wonderful relationship with my own Mom.  Being child-free is a personal decision, and I am convinced that it is the most appropriate path for my life. 

                Now, the big question: Can I have sex just for the enjoyment if my intention is never to have a child?  For those of you who are not religious, this may seem like a silly question.  However, I bring this topic up for discussion because of the rise in the USA in popularity and political power of conservative Christians.  You may also know them as Christian Nationalists.  Many conservative Christians are of the belief that sex should only be for the creation of children.  Therefore, following their logic, any form of birth control should be outlawed.  Women should not have the power over their own bodies to say, “Yes, I want sex.  And, no, I do not want kids.”  Am I out of line in assuming that this is the belief that is threatening me?  I think not.  Birth control pills are called, “abortion pills,” by some conservative believers.  The problem develops when Christians become powerful in the government, and begin to make their religious preferences law. 

                If you believe that I am over-reacting, then may I remind you that Roe v. Wade was overturned in 2022, and that abortions are now no longer protected by the Constitution.  In many states where Christian Nationalists have gained positions in government, abortion is becoming illegal again.  Birth control is the next target.  I am here to say, “Laws off my body!  This is my decision!”  Let me be very clear: I believe that every woman has the right to decide how to express her own sexuality and for what purpose.  If I want to have an active sex life, while not having children, then that is my call.  Stay away from my birth control options.  This includes the full spectrum of birth control, such as IUD’s, the pill, the shot, and, yes, abortion.  The right is mine.  The decision should not be taken away from me because a conservative Christian in congress wants his wife, “barefoot and pregnant.”  If you think this is not happening, then you would be wrong.  For example, Elon Musk has a large brood of children with many different women.  His belief is that women are for baby making, and re-populating the white race, which supports his wrong white-supremacist thinking. 

                I am currently reading Margaret Atwood’s controversial novel The Handmaid’s Tale.  I believe that if women do not raise their voices and take a stand, we will soon find ourselves strictly controlled by the patriarchy.  In the novel, handmaids are for one purpose: to have children.  In addition, bearing children is seen as the only reason for women’s existence.  While reading, I feel suffocated and suppressed, just like the women in the book.  They have no voice and no choices.  Let me be clear that in 2025, women still have choices.  But those choices are fading quickly while we watch our reproductive rights disappear.  Let our voices not be silent now.  There are organizations such as The Women’s March and Planned Parenthood Action which take a stand and fight for the rights of all females in this country.  It is time to take to the streets in protest.  Do not let what you can do with your body be dictated by a man.  I saw a great meme online about The Handmaid’s Tale, and it said that the book is meant to be fiction, not an instruction manual for men to suppress women.  I could not agree more! 

                I do not want to see a dystopian future for women in the USA.  We need freedom and equality.  We need to speak now!  Do not let men in power, such as Trump or Musk, dictate our lives.  I am legitimately terrified that bans on abortion and birth control are just the beginning.  And this woman, will not conform.  Instead, I will resist.  I am inspired by many greats that have gone before me, such as the notorious RBG.  Let us not forget her legacy of dissent.  Let us make her proud!  My body, my choice.  I encourage every woman reading this to evaluate the meaning of choice to you, and to decide that it is worth fighting for. 

                With Resistance, G.

    PS I have linked The Women’s March and Planned Parenthood Action Below.  Check them out!  In addition, feel free to share resources of your own in the comments.  Thank you!

    Women’s March – Our Feminist Future – Women’s March

    Planned Parenthood Action Fund

  • Faith: A Power Higher Than Trump

    Recently, I posted a blog on The Ladybug discussing my blessings during the reign of Trump.  Today, I would like to further expand upon the idea that blessings exist during difficult times, by sharing my personal faith.  The news in the USA has only been getting scarier and scarier.  How do we cope with our fears?  How do we manage the harsh realities that are flooding our lives from the new Trump administration?  I am a person who relies on government agencies and policies that have long been in place.  Now, I feel that I am a sitting duck with a gun pointed at my head, as the democratic government I hold dear tumbles down.  Is there anything I can do?  Of course I can take political action by calling my representatives.  And, I can resist and protest in the streets.  But, what about internal action?  How do I protect my peace?

                The answer for me is: by digging into my faith in God.  I identify as a progressive Christian, and my faith in the love and protection of Jesus has seen me through many dark days in my life.  God is always faithful to me, and my peace of mind is guaranteed when I am faithful to him in return.  In the Bible, Jesus says, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world.” This quote is from the Gospel of John 16:33.  Many believe that being a Christian should mean an easy walk through life.  However, God does not promise that we never see troubles, simply that He is with us during every moment of our troubles.  He sees us through the storm.  We live in a fallen world, where heartache and death are realities.  But do not forget, Jesus conquered death by rising on the third day following His crucifixion.  He can help you and I overcome anything! 

                I would like to share a personal story about my life as an example of the healing powers of faith.  I have struggled with alcoholism since I was 20 years old.  I did not get serious about sobriety until I was 31 years old.  I now have 6 and ½ years sober from alcohol.  This journey through my addiction has been marked by tears, danger, and denial.  There were many people in my life that wanted me to stop drinking before I decided to try to sober up.  I hurt those closest to me.  I never would have achieved a sober day without the grace of God.  It takes a village to support the recovery of an addict, and that village must be guided by a higher power.  I decided to get sober after I lived through a near-death experience.  I realized that if I had died, I would have left my life a mess.  I thanked God that I survived, and dedicated myself to sobriety.  The journey has not been easy, and I still take only one day at a time.  I struggle with my addiction every day, and every day God is Good and keeps me sober.  I could have died, but here I am, living still and living clean!

                My hope in sharing my personal story of how faith saved me from alcoholism, is to inspire you to reach out to God no matter what mountain you are facing.  He alone can aid you. His love will comfort you through the rough days of your own journey.  Perhaps you are stressed and frightened by the current political climate.  Perhaps you are financially tapped out.  Maybe, you just lost a loved one and are grieving.  Whatever the circumstance, do not rely on your own strength, but reach towards God and His strength.  We are never alone in our struggles.  You never have to feel alone.  I may be scared by what is coming in the next days and months of the Trump administration, but I know that I will be okay in the end.  If it is not okay, then it is not the end.  How do I know?  Because, I believe in a loving and powerful God who wants to help me and is by my side through thick and thin.  All you need do is ask.  A simple prayer.  “God, help me.”  He will hear you, and He is faithful.  Dig into what is beyond Trump or any of his leaders, the higher power, and rely on God to bring you to better days.

                In Love and Peace, G.

  • Blessings During the Reign of Trump?

    The news today is scary.  Every day there is some new report of how President Trump is taking apart our country’s democracy.  I am afraid that everything I thought I knew for certain about America will soon change.  What is there to feel good about?  Prices and inflation are rising, not lowering.  Immigrants and people of color are in danger.  The LGBTQ+ community may lose the rights they fought so hard to gain.  The DOGE committee, fronted by Elon Musk, is systematically attacking government agencies, and being granted access to American’s most private information.  My status as a woman, alone, now puts me at risk for attacks from Trump.  The list of scary news goes on and on, and I can not cover all the topics in one paragraph.  However, suffice to say, that the reign of Trump is ushering in dark times for the USA. 

                So, what can I do to not feel overwhelmed and hopeless?!  I was praying on this subject, and what came to me were the simple words, “Stay in the present moment.”  There are blessings in my life that have not yet disappeared, and are worth celebrating.  I do not know how my life will be altered in the future by the new administration.  Therefore, it is more crucial than ever to be present and feel each blessing fully.  In honor of this philosophy, I have decided to write a Ladybug post today listing 10 blessings in my present life.  I will appreciate these blessings with every fiber of my being, for as long as they are mine to hold.  I suggest that if you are feeling equally hopeless at the state of our country, take out a paper and pen, and make your own list of blessings.  Celebrate the gifts God gives us, no matter how small.  Without further explanation, here are 10 Blessings that I cherish in my daily life:

    • My parents are alive and I can help them frequently.  This past summer, I moved closer to my parent’s home, and it is now a short drive to their house.  I can spend much more time with them, and offer any help they may need.  It is a huge blessing in my life to give back to my wonderful and amazing parents, who have always been there for me through thick and thin.  We have a relationship that I cherish.
      • My morning cup of coffee.  I love to wake up and go through the routine of making a pot of coffee.  The first bitter, hot sip is heaven!  Coffee is a luxury, and I enjoy every minute of drinking a good cup! 
      • Books!  I love to read.  I enjoy a wide variety of genres of books, and I always have 10 books that I am reading at the same time.  Everything from political non-fiction, to books on racism and women’s rights, to romances with handsome heroes, to fantasy novels that take me to other worlds, I love all books!  I especially enjoy reading banned books, and am currently reading The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood.  I learn something new with every book I read, and the books become a part of me.
      • Walks in nature.  I love to be in the woods, walking among the wise trees, and hearing the birds sing.  Somehow, everything that was wrong in my life feels right again.  Nature is incredibly healing.  Feeling fresh air on my face is exactly what I need to cure any stressful situation.  Thank you, God, for creating this beautiful planet, and giving me the ability to enjoy your fabulous works!
      • Sobriety.  This is a serious blessing.  I do not rely on any substances to escape reality and get high anymore.  No alcohol, no cigarettes, no pills.  I never tried marijuana, and I never will.  I cherish and carefully guard my sobriety, because it is the most important gift that I can give myself.  I want to experience reality, and cope with stress, in healthy and safe ways.  The ultimate clean living.  The best decision I have made.
      • Yummy and nourishing food.  I have enough food to eat, and I am blessed to enjoy many delicious and tasty meals.  I have never gone hungry.  This has not always seemed like a blessing to me, as I have struggled with Anorexia Nervosa my whole adult life.  However, I have healed enough from my eating disorder to realize that food security is indeed an amazing blessing, and a privilege of living in the developed world.  In addition, there is so much pleasure in a good meal!
      • Health.  My health is a constant struggle for me, both mentally and physically.  However, I have wonderful health insurance that has allowed me access to top doctors and healing medications.  I could be much worse off if I did not live in a state that offers great healthcare.  In addition, I have the gift of great insight into my mind and body, which allows me to make good decisions about my care.  I lead a high-quality life, and I am grateful.
      • School.  I attend Westfield State University online, and it is an honor to have education access.  Many women around the world, and in our country, are denied education.  Currently, I am working to complete my BA in Psychology.  The courses are not always easy, and at times I want to give up.  Then, I remind myself that school is an incredible blessing, and I persevere.  I will finish my degree, in the hopes for better opportunities going forward.
      • Church.  Having a church family is everything to me.  The support of fellow Christians is crucial in my spiritual journey.  I have been blessed to be quite active in the different churches I have attended.  Mission work is a passion of mine, and helping others with the company of my fellow church members is a wonderful experience.  Churches and organized religions are certainly not perfect, but the gift of sharing faith with other believers is something I will value for my whole life.
      • My apartment.  I am not homeless.  There are so many people in the USA, and all over the world, who do not have stable housing.  I have a warm, cozy, comfy, and safe place to call my own.  My apartment is my sanctuary.  It is where I recover from the roughness of the world, and rediscover my spark.  When life is overwhelming, I spend a few days hunkered down in my apartment, and I feel renewed.  My space is where I go to rest, so that I may do battle in the outside world again.  This is a true luxury, and I do not take it for granted.  My home is my restorative blessing.

        The list of my blessings could continue, and it could certainly be much longer.  However, I felt it was important to take a moment to look at the most basic and simple blessings that make my life wonderful.  The daily life I lead is truly one that I feel immense gratitude for, and I do not take one single blessing for granted.  I will live in the moment, and return to look at my list, every time I begin to doubt whether I can face our scary world.  God is Good.  His Love endures forever. 

        Be Blessed, G.

      1. Love Thy Neighbors: Immigrants

        I have a question to ask: Why must we all be white?  The core of white supremacy seems to me to be a belief that white people should dominate and control.  A belief that only people of European dissent with pale skin tones should be valued and respected.  I am certain that this belief is wrong.  There is a feeling in my core that white supremacy is evil and dangerous.  In addition, white supremacy in the USA is incredibly hypocritical.  Native Americans were the original founders of the country, and the Puritans from England were the immigrants.  So, why is it that white people in America have turned on immigrants?!  Is our collective memory so short-sited?  Have we all forgotten what we learned in history class in school?

                    The Trump administration which has taken over the country again has rolled out decisive action against immigrants, which I find sickening.  President Trump himself is a white supremacist.  He does not seem to be able to tolerate anyone different from himself.  The way that America is currently treating immigrants is a crime against humanity.  We are all beloved children of God.  We all matter and should be valued, regardless of our skin tone or ethnic background.  Separating families and tearing children away from their caregivers, simply because they are trying to find a better life on our soil, is inhumane.  We have a short memory, and seem to have forgotten all about the statue of liberty welcoming immigrants to our nation for decades past.  Why is there so much hate?

                    Immigrants in the USA also play an important role economically.  It is foolish to deport them.  Immigrants work long hours at jobs that white people hold up their noses at.  They pick watermelons in fields and work in factories.  They are tax paying contributors.  Besides the financial implications and work place roles that should be considered, immigrants also bring a richness to the diversity in our culture.  When I was in third grade, I learned about America being described as a melting pot.  The community was made stronger by having many different cultural traditions present.  Let us not forget the beauty of inclusion. 

                    The Bible also has many things to say about accepting our neighbors.  Since the conservative Republicans in Congress like to quote Leviticus for justifying their laws, I will quote Leviticus as well.  “When a foreigner resides among you in your land, do not mistreat them.  The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born.  Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt.  I am the Lord your God.”  Leviticus 19: 33-34.  The Lord is instructing His people as to how to care for foreigners, because they themselves had at one time suffered as outcasts in Egypt.  How quickly we forget.  This passage always reminds me that God’s law is one of acceptance and love. 

        But, why stop with the Biblical quotes there?  I would also like to include Jesus’ famous quote on loving our neighbors.  The story is from the Gospel of Matthew, when Jesus is asked which commandment is the most important.  Jesus replies, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”  Matthew 22: 37-40.  Clearly, the criminal treatment of immigrants is not an act of loving them as ourselves.  Separating families, and endangering children, and violently rounding up people, and destroying lives is not loving.  What would Jesus think of these actions, according to His instructions in the Bible?

                    America should be finding ways to streamline paths to legal immigration, and developing better avenues to welcome refugees into our countries.  We should not be building walls to keep anyone non-white and different out of our borders.  It is not only inhumane, as I stated earlier, but it goes against the Christian principles set out in the Bible.  White supremacy is inherently evil, and I am afraid of what it will ultimately lead to in this country.  I am determined to work to stop this spread of injustice.  Welcome the foreigner and love your neighbor, even if, and perhaps especially when, they are different from yourself.  Deporting honest immigrants and terrorizing refugees are terribly wrong actions, and they go against the history of our nation.  Take time today to consider your own principles in your heart, and decide which side of history you will be on.  I hope you choose love, compassion, justice, and inclusive action.

                                            In Resistance, G.

      2. For the Love of Money

        Reflections on God and Possessions

        My needs have always been met.  I have never known hunger or cold.  There has always been a roof over my head.  Considering the recent wildfires in California, I have been thinking about what happens when a human’s most basic needs are not met.  In America, we have a capitalist society, where every man and woman are for themselves in a rat race to the corporate top ladder.  Money and possessions are highly valued.  Americans are taught to crave a bigger house, a fancier car, and the latest smart phone technology.  The focus is not only on having enough to survive, but on one-upping your neighbor.  But, what does Jesus say we need?  He emphasizes spiritual wholeness, and a closeness with the earth and our creator.  Jesus, himself, was poor, and advised His followers to give up their possessions and follow Him.  Jesus says that we cannot love God and money (Luke 16:13 and Matthew 6:24).  So, after seeing the devastation in California over the last few days, I asked myself, what would I grieve the loss of most, my “things” or my memories?  I am ashamed to say that I might be tempted to grieve the loss of the stuff I had collected the most.

                    Time for a little self-reflection.  I grew up middle-class in the USA, and with all the privileges of being white.  It was not until I was an adult that I first experienced having little money.  I have lived on disability and food stamps for most of my adult life, and have had to watch every penny closely.  Running out of food at the end of the month has become a reality, as well as swallowing my pride and occasionally asking for extra help.  However, as I said, God is Good, and I have always somehow made ends meet.  It has not been an easy task.  The surprising fact is, that I would not have it any other way.  Being poor keeps me honest in a way that I have never experienced before.  My empathy and respect for others has grown and my own faith journey has been richer.  Joy has been palpable in the simple pleasures, such as a walk in the woods, or a warm cup of tea.  Community with others in church or through friendships sparks my passion more than being by myself in a fancy apartment would accomplish.  However, with all that said, I still feel myself vulnerable to the temptations to enjoy collecting, “stuff,” in my case mostly books and music.  I crave the latest Taylor Swift CD, even though I cannot afford it, and feel sorry for myself that the extra funds are not there. 

                    It is time for a reality check.  My complaints are the needs of a first-world spoiled American.  I want fancier clothes, I want newer CD’s, I want higher quality chocolate.  Hello, wake-up call, I have all I need and more!!!  My sweet apartment is full of lovely times spent with family and friends, and I am warm, safe, and fed.  There are many in the world, and presently in our own country, who cannot say the same.  It is time to dig into scripture and recall the words of Jesus, “you cannot love God and money.”  I have been given free-will, what do I choose to love today?  Do I love my Father God, or the phone app that I want?  God gives us the option; it is time to consider the answer.  We as Christians are called to serve those less fortunate, let us decide to act now and help our neighbors.  To whom much is given, much is required.  I have been given much. 

                    If you would like to help the California rescue efforts, World Central Kitchen is serving hot meals:

        World Central Kitchen