I am a pastor’s daughter. Let’s say that again with emphasis: I am a Pastor’s Daughter!! Why does this matter? I began addressing this topic in the, “Gaelle’s World,” section of my blog, The Ladybug, but I felt it deserved a full entry. Being raised in the church, with Christian values, has placed a certain amount of pressure on me. I do NOT at all blame my parents for this pressure, as it came primarily from church members, and was not something my parents instilled in me. Nevertheless, being a pastor’s daughter is one reason that I have struggled with perfectionism from a very young age. There are, of course, other contributors to perfectionism in my personality, but let’s start with the church. This will be a three-part series in which I will cover the topic of perfectionism fully. Stay tuned!!
So, what do I mean by “The church?” I am discussing the Christian church as a global whole for now, not a specific congregation that I have belonged to. My parents are left-leaning politically, and raised me with primarily liberal values. I was not brought up in a Christian Nationalist home or with any other type of conservative Christian theology. However, I still felt suppressed by the comments and expectations of the members of my father’s churches. For example, my clothing decisions, how I dyed my hair, the extra-curricular activities I did with my friends, the partners I chose to date, and even my sexuality felt critiqued. My Dad was a pastor for The United Church of Christ, a relatively liberal Christian denomination, but I still felt pressure. When I dyed my hair blue, I was told by a church-goer that it looked, “immature.” I was only 14 years old!
Fast forward, and I have struggled to carve out my own comfortable church alliances as an adult because the Christian Nationalists have taken over so much of what is identified as “Christian” in the USA. I now identify myself as a “Progressive Christian” every time I am asked about my faith, just to make sure that I am implying my beliefs correctly. I am extremely liberal politically, and yet still feel that Jesus is my Lord. Those two identities seem to be in conflict currently. However, my perfectionism battle is finally feeling much better. At 38, almost 39 years old, I am confident in ways that were missing during my childhood and 20’s. When I was younger, The Church, and all the pressure and comments got to me in a way that no longer matters now. I am so much more comfortable with myself, and I feel close to God in the way I understand Him as my Father and Protector.
Make no mistake, the pressure is still there in this country to conform to a perfect “Stepford wife” way of life if you are a Christian. But, Nope, Not me!! I will not dye my hair bleach blonde, put in extensions, wear barbie clothes, get my lips plumped, my breasts enhanced, and my hips shrunk. Money does not rule my mind. I’d rather be poor and be right with God then cave to The Christian Nationalist’s female ideal that wealthy men in right-wing conservative roles of power marry. And, yes, that is a dig at Donald Trump, and he will probably sue me for insulting him and his cronies. My battle cry these days is: Be myself and Be Free! No perfect image to fit into for a perfect church going girl. My true friends in Christ love me for me, and I accept my flat chest and chestnut/greying hair just fine. God is perfect, I do not need to be. I encourage you to find a church that supports you and loves you for all your little quirks. Jesus preached love, let us spread it among one another!
To be continued…
With Blessings and Freedom, G.
PS If this topic stirs up your feelings with controversy, yay! I am hoping to encourage you to think about your beliefs and question our current status quo in America. Let me here your thoughts in the comments!
The Ladybug 
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