The Ladybug

Tag: Self-acceptance

  • Before and After Photos in Reverse: My Story Part 2    

    Trigger Warning:  

    Eating Disorder Patients: I show a before/after photo and discuss weight! 

    Dear readers of The Ladybug, I have already written an entry regarding before and after photos that display weight loss.  I expressed it at the time, and I still believe that these photos can be extremely harmful!  Western society places a huge pressure on women to be rail thin, and on men to have rock-hard abs.  The standards of what a body should look like are so out of control in our culture that weight-loss injections are having a major moment.  Unfortunately, these medications can cause extremely harmful side effects and can transform their victims into starvation models.  I do not endorse forcing weight loss.  I am fine with people wishing to maintain healthy nutrition and joyful movement routines, but it is not safe to force one’s body to meet societal expectations.   

    When I wrote the piece last summer regarding my own before and after photos, it was perhaps easier for me to express myself because I had just lost a significant amount of weight.  I had lost most of the weight by building up stamina exercising and by eating my mom’s healthy homecooked meals while I stayed with my parents frequently.  I was then able to maintain the same lower weight for about a year and a half.  I remained active and helped my parents with physical chores around their homestead.   

    However, now a lot has changed!  I am sharing a vulnerable post today about the truth of a before and after photo which displays weight gain, Not loss.  Let me explain.  To my readers who may not know, I have been battling a tick-borne illness, Anaplasmosis, for a full year now, since April 2025.  This illness is quite serious, and mine has proven to be pretty damn resistant to treatment.  I start to feel a little better, get a little active, and then crash again.  Recently, I moved apartments, and I moved to a whole new town.  The move build-up and now unpacking has caused a big relapse in my illness.  I am taking a strong dose of medications with little results. 

    Therefore, I am currently living a life of mostly lying in bed eating Campbells chunky chicken soups and watching Netflix.  While I understand that that life may sound like Heaven to some, when you are very ill and are forced to recover, it is not easy.  The point?  I have gained weight!  Oh my God!  So, here is an honest photo of what I look like now, compared to last summer 2025.  No flatter belly and tiny boobs.  Now the girls are back and so is my belly!  I have taken a photo revealing my body because I want to make a stand against encouraging weight loss.  It is perfectly acceptable to have a before and after picture in reverse.  Flaunt those curves ladies; you want him (or her) to have something to grab onto! 

    I do not want you to get the wrong idea; I am not encouraging unhealthy living.  I simply would like to free women (And men!) from the feeling that they need to meet anyone’s ideas about appearance besides their own desires.  The right partner will love and accept you for you; there is nothing to prove.  If you take my advice, do not force your body to a breaking point so that you can conform.  Your body knows what it is doing, trust it.  And, if you are a woman approaching middle age like me (40 in October 2026!), then expect your body to look different than it did at 20.  Why must we try to uncover the mythical fountain of youth?  It does not exist.  One’s body is meant to change with aging.  I say Love Yourself!!!  Loving a body that is uniquely yours and beautiful in your own eyes is about the most radical thing you can do these days.  So, please join me in celebrating whichever style of before and after photos are in your life story.  Life is a wonderful adventure! 

    In body acceptance, G.  

  • Perfectionism Part 3: Body Image Ideals in America are Harmful 

    Dear readers, I am aware that discussing any aspect of body image can be potentially triggering, especially to those individuals diagnosed with eating disorders.  I, myself, was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa at age 20, after starting to display symptoms in my late teen years.  Due to my own experiences, I will endeavor to make this article sensitive to those who struggle.  However, I want everyone to honor their own boundaries with the topic.  With that spirit in mind, let us start to talk… 

    One of the most freeing phrases that I ever heard during my eating disorder recovery journey was: your body is not a project.  I have always felt a great deal of pressure my whole life to micro-manage my appearance, especially my weight.  I used to wear heavy make-up, dye my hair, follow all the latest fashions of dress, and starve my body.  In the USA, women who identify as cis-gender females are placed under a huge amount of pressure to groom ourselves into oblivion, even to go so far as to consume diet pills and under-go plastic surgery.  There is an expected, and, frankly, un-achievable, ideal “look” that we must work towards.  Lots of money is poured into this industry of beauty and the pursuit of feminine perfection. 

    Well, now I am saying to it all: F*#ck You!!  My body is not a project.  I look the way I look, and as long as I am healthy, then I am satisfied with my appearance.  In my current world, after being severely ill for 6 and a half months, being healthy and strong in my body image is way more important to me than being glamorous.   

    In addition, I have had a shift over the last few months as to how I identify in my beauty image.  I would now say that I am more of an androgenous female than a typical cis-gendered female.  Some days I am glammed up and girly, while other days I feel comfortable in flannel, jeans, and winter boots.  The identity of androgyny allows for this flexibility, being somewhere in the middle, neither feminine nor masculine.  My studies at university allowed me to gain more exposure to the differing worlds of gender identity, and, after writing a paper on androgyny, I felt so much more connected to my true self. 

    I’m beginning to wonder why I have been spending the last 20 or so years trying to be thin and cute.  Why have I cared what society thought of me?  The dream of being the perfect model from the pages of a women’s magazine or following the latest wellness trend has not been making me healthier or more beautiful, it has been killing me.  As one of my friends said to me recently regarding the weight-loss drug craze, “It seems to be a sickness in our society that is unique to America.”  I am grateful for her honest assessment, and I could not agree more.  American wellness culture, and the corresponding products and medications that feed the system with millions of dollars, just harm the very humans they claim to be aiding. 

    So, I am choosing to be free from the trap of twisting myself up-side down to meet the societal beauty standards.  I encourage you to free yourself as well!  Wherever you are on the body-image road, whether you are struggling with disordered eating, or you are struggling with the pursuit of the wellness community, coined often as orthorexia, I invite you to take a moment to pause.  Think about what your goals are with your appearance and resulting health.  Are you simply chasing an impossible beauty standard?  Or are you investing heavily in a financial way to bring about a drastic figure change?  The only investment that I now believe is honestly worth it, and will bring about the most joy, is the time and energy to be healthy, happy, and authentically YOU!!  There is no reason to conform to any other standard or request from an industry that will not pay you back.   

    These revelations have taken me years to reach!  From wandering hospital hallways with a feeding tube up my nose to over-exercising, to starving and to binging, I have finally arrived at a moment of peace.  Just be where your body desires and forget what America might think.  You will be surprised how much mental room will be created in your head when you let go, and how much room in your wallet you will discover.  Bodies are meant to be all different shapes and sizes.  Food is meant to be joyful and shared, bringing friends and family together.  Exercise is meant to destress and strengthen, without pushing too far.  Try out a few of my radical ideas and see how much tension in your life will lift.  I hope my years of pain can be turned into something helpful for others.   

    To conclude, I would like to provide you with an example from my own life.  While I have been ill recently, I was told repeatedly by my doctors to be on bedrest.  But I kept pushing to be active and exercise, because I was afraid of gaining too much weight while “lying around being sick.”  Finally, I basically collapsed into my own bed and rested for 2 weeks.  I purposefully lay around, watched Netflix, and ate high-calorie and high-protein foods to strengthen my body which was hard at work fighting a serious infection.  Finally, after 2 weeks in bed, I emerged for a 1-mile walk.  Then, I rested.  Next, a 2-mile walk.  Then, I rested.  Testing the waters slowly to see how much exercise I could build up to.  I continued to eat whatever I wanted, especially if it was high in calories.  None of this was done with losing weight in mind.  Rather, I was hoping to gain weight, and re-grow some of my once thick curly hair and beautiful nails.   

    Take my words to heart, readers, and do not learn the hard way as I have.  Listen to your doctors regarding health and rest.  Do not put the demands of the un-healthy “wellness” industry first.  Get quiet within, listen to what your body needs, and act accordingly.  Beauty is fleeting, but longevity and happiness are true goals to live by.  With that advice, I wish you blessings and peace in your journeys.  Love, G.