Dear readers of The Ladybug, do you ever have days that are intensely stressful and you wonder how to say “Thank You” to God at the end of them? I had one such day today. For personal reasons, to protect others, I cannot outline for you the details of the stressful situations today. Regardless, I will just state that more than one event unfolded that pushed my mind and body to the limits. I am now lying in bed with my laptop and trying to decompress myself. When I started to say “Grace” before my dinner, I realized that I didn’t want to say my usual line at the end of the prayer. This is the usual statement, “Dear God, Thank You for all of the blessings of this life, I praise Your Holy wonderful Name!”
Instead, tonight I felt resentful towards God. I wanted to complain to Him, and frankly, be pissed off. So, I took a deep breath and said my usual prayer statement anyway. A nice f*ck you to the devil, ha-ha! Then, I felt inspired to write this post, because I realized that I am probably not alone with sometimes reacting this way to a bad day.
So, I have decided to tell you what went “right” today. Because I firmly believe that there is always something to thank God for, even if it is just the fact that you are still on the correct side of the grass. However, today I have more than only my life to be thankful for. To name a couple of items: I had a matcha green tea latte AND an iced coffee with oat milk. These are my two favorite drinks of choice. Living in a sober lifestyle and having them both on the same day is a big treat!
Also, I had enough money in my normally small bank account to buy myself a new yoga mat. Recently, yoga has become a major coping skill for me. I had not practiced it consistently for years, and so I began with chair yoga to strengthen my muscles and re-build my skills. Now, I feel ready to tackle more traditional forms of yoga on a floor mat. This was an exciting purchase for me! In addition to being relaxing, I have found yoga to be a form of movement that my physically weak body can manage better than some more intensive workouts for the time being. I am on a slow, but steady, fitness journey after major illness, and this yoga mat is the next step!
Third on my list is the fact that in my new apartment, I have my own washer and dryer for the first time ever! Maybe I am majorly “geeking out” with adulting here and showing my age but not having to share with other apartments or go to Mom and Dad’s house is a big deal! Suddenly, I love doing laundry. Having your own machines is an incredible luxury that most people in middle to upper class USA take for granted, but I have been poor ever since I’ve been on my own as an adult. Therefore, this is a big deal for me, and I am grateful to God.
Finally, and most importantly, one of the professionals who helps me with my mental health showed up for me in a big way today. I am blessed to work with some amazing people who assist me with my disabilities, and having services is also a big blessing. I know many people who “fall through the cracks” of the mental health system. They need services, and could benefit greatly, but they are not connected to the right agencies. I am truly humbled by the amazing people that I have met on my healing journey with mental illness and today was no exception. It was easy to thank God today for this person.
And…there you go! I have just written four paragraphs about the multitude of ways that God was Amazing today! I have thanked God in my heart over again, as I write and realize that I lead a truly wonderful life. If you have a bad day, I encourage you to try the same exercise. Pull out your journal, or a simple paper and pen, and write down anything that you can think of that did go well throughout your day. Your gratitude examples can be small and simple, but I bet you can think of a couple. Remember, God is always Good, He wants to provide a beautiful life for us little humans. When things go wrong, God wants to help us through. Reach out and Thank God, it will turn your mind in the right direction to focus on healing, instead of resentment.
Thank you to you, too, dear readers. My writing blesses me just as much as you, if not more so. I hope I have inspired you to have a peaceful night and find a good release for your own frustrations. Sending Hugs and Love, G.
PS The picture of Sunflowers is in memory of my beautiful Aunt, who loved them.
The Ladybug 