Personal Post: Mental Health
Is it helpful or hurtful to be diagnosed with an illness? The answer may seem obvious, that a diagnosis can help in treatment and, hopefully, recovery. However, does this reasoning apply to mental illnesses as well as physical ones? I feel that I have a unique perspective on this question, because I have been diagnosed with both. Unfortunately, I struggle with several chronic medical conditions that require treatment. In addition, I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, which has also led to prescription drug treatment and hospital stays. Revealing these facts about my life used to feel shameful and embarrassing. People are usually understanding and sympathetic when I say I have, “health problems.” However, as soon as I mention mental health, their reactions turn from friendly to uncomfortable. A few people are brazen enough to ask what meds I take, some people tell me about a weird relative they have with a similar diagnosis, and then there are those who look at me knowingly, and whisper under their breath, that they struggle too.
So, why is this topic as controversial as the others that I cover on The Ladybug, namely religion and politics? Let’s dive in! One observation that I have made throughout my journey is that mental health conditions scare people. Behaviors seem threatening, and they can be dangerous. Suicide is a leading cause of death in the USA. Every life lost to suicide is a tragedy. My own attempts were stopped by loving parents, and I was blessed to receive the treatment that I needed. Others are less fortunate. In addition, hospitals for the mentally ill are intimidating. The experience of a locked ward is one that is unforgettable. The staff are not always there for the right reasons. Medications for mental illnesses have difficult side effects that can cause physical changes. Personally, I struggle with a tremor that is obvious and makes everyone assume I am nervous. These are some of the more obvious reasons why mental health is a difficult subject.
But, what is the consequence of the label, “Mentally Ill.” Or, “Bipolar.” How does it feel to be a professional patient? Isn’t that the consequence of receiving the diagnosis and being told one is disabled? I have not been able to maintain employment due to my mental illness, therefore living on disability payments and scratching by financially. How do you think that makes me feel? We all know that the Republicans in congress do not look favorably on people like me, living on handouts and charity. So, how can I respect myself? See myself favorably? Feel my own self-worth? The answer is: I know that I am so much more than my diagnosis. My diagnosis is not who I am. My name is Gaelle, my name is not bipolar. I have something of value to offer this world simply by being me. That’s it, nothing more. I have worth.
Honestly, the realization that I am more than my diagnosis was something that took time. I tried to keep my mental illness a secret. I feared that people would not see me the way I wanted to be seen if only they knew the truth. Now, I understand that valuable friends love me for me. The people who judge me or shade me with stigma are not worth my tears. I encourage anyone who is feeling ashamed of a diagnosis to step back. See the information given to you as power in your hands to better understand yourself and aid with treatment and recovery. There is always hope for a better ending. We have the control to make positive decisions about our futures. My personal motto is: Never Give Up!!! The healing I have experienced over the years is amazing, and it is the reason I was inspired to write such an intimate post. Mental illness is real, yes, and treatable, and recovery is possible. Do not let the label define you. Every human life holds value. Thank you for reading a little of my story. If you are someone struggling with mental illness and/or suicidality, please ask for help. I have included the link below for The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. Blessings, G.
The Ladybug 