Dear readers, writing to you in The Ladybug Blog keeps me honest. Tonight I would like to share my appreciation for my friends. And in the name of honesty, I have a confession: I believe that I have been taking my friends for granted. You see, I have a small group of very close friends. I have been blessed to have known most of these friends for over a decade, and in some cases more than two decades. It is interesting, however, how friendships change, shift, and grow as differing phases of adulthood occur.
For example, I have moved twice in the last two years, both times to places that were distant from some of my best friends. And yet, with the gifts of modern technology, I have been able to keep my friendships solid. That’s not to say that I haven’t lost some connections, and I feel a lot of sadness over friendships lost, but I am by no means alone. Zooming, texting, Facebook messaging, all of these are ways that I have still “seen” my friends. In-person gathering has been rarer, but again, it has occurred enough to make me feel supported. I am truly blessed with the wonderful array of smart, talented, compassionate, loving, and faithful women (and a few men) in my life!
Both times that I have moved recently, it was to new towns where I had never visited before. I found making new connections difficult with the first move. I am hoping that this second, most recent move will go better as far as finding meaningful companions. It has been tempting as I sit in my bed alone typing furiously on my keyboard at night to feel lonely and a bit lost in space. Those are the moments when it is most crucial to recall memories and the recent phone calls or texts from my community of people who love me. And truly, what more could I ask for?
I know that I have hinted at failed romantic relationships in previous blogs, and out of respect for my former partners I will never write a tell-all. I would simply like to say that being single (yes, now you know I’m single currently!) while being an independent 39-year-old woman living on her own is no easy task. I am also childfree, as well as fur baby free, at the moment, and so I have no one to snuggle with! Most people in the USA follow a prescribed pattern of dating, get serious, marriage, house and two cars, fur baby, and finally one to three children, and work or become a housewife.
Well, I have taken the road less travelled. I am selective about romantic partners, and though I believe I have met some truly special people in my life, it has never seemed to work out the right way at the right time. In addition, I do not want children or stepchildren. I am a very proud Auntie, and that is the right gift for me! Do I even want to get married someday at this point? I do not know, honestly. So many bad dating experiences have dotted my landscape that I am no longer sure. After a while, a love for independence and freedom takes over, and I feel that it has become harder for someone to catch me. And yet, late at night, there is gnawing loneliness again.
BUT, that is why my friendships are so important! Single people, especially women, need their best girlfriends to keep them going through all the triumphs and failures of life! And I am happy to hear about the lives of my friends; I love to listen to their experiences. I have friends in all walks of life, age, and life situations. I believe that the differences between us make our friendships even stronger because I can learn from my girlfriends. I may never be a mother, but I want to support my friends and their children. I believe that family is a gift in every form it takes. I, personally, value my own family deeply. My parents and I are close, and I endeavor to support them as they change and grow. I have also learned a great deal from my male friends, that there are decent men in the world, and that some men can be kind and treat women well. All my friends form a community that is like family. And I am grateful to God for such a wonderful gift!
Readers of The Ladybug, do yourselves a favor and reach out to a friend after reading my post. Maybe even one that you have not talked to in a while. All of us feel the human condition of loneliness, and existential angst; it is good to know that our little hearts are not alone. God blesses us with friends to share life’s burdens and joys with, go ahead and reach out, you will be glad that you did! And if we are, or were, friends or acquaintances of any kind, I want you to know that you are valued and respected; Thank you for being a part of my story!
Go in Joy, G.
The Ladybug 