I feel anxious. I have been anxious all day. Do you ever feel anxious? It is hard for me to understand my anxiety, and even harder to control it. I used to apply various substances as balms for my anxious mental health: cigarettes, alcoholic drinks, and benzodiazepine pills. However, I now keep to a strict sober lifestyle. So, what to do? Over the years, psychologists have had me try all the usual “healthy” interventions, such as cognitive behavioral therapy or yoga and meditation. And, yes, yoga and guided meditation are tools that I use on a regular basis. However, when the anxiety is high and my system is on alert, these milder aids do nothing for me. I need to invoke that which is higher.
Prayer. Praying is the ultimate soothing release for my anxious tendencies. These prayers are messy and unfiltered. They sometimes are not even coherent sentences or words. God knows exactly what I need before I pray about it, and when I reach towards Him, the relief comes quickly. It is amazing to me that I worship a God who loves me so much that He accepts all my worries and concerns, whether large or small. Everything is okay, I can turn it over to the One who is really in charge. Thank God!
Perhaps you find my approach to simple? Do you doubt that prayers whispered in urgency can really relieve tough anxious pain? You are not alone, I used to feel that way, too. My faith as a young adult in my early 20’s was pretty much non-existent. I was going through a challenging time with my mental wellbeing, and I thought God had abandoned me. There were many moments when I wanted to give up. However, through the love of my family and friends, and the support of professionals, I survived. My faith in God began to resurface, and I started a long journey back to being a believer in Christ. Many times, my faith has been tested over the years. There have been scary times with both my physical and mental health. But God has always saved and protected me. In gratitude I have turned my life over to Him.
For example, my recent long absence from this blog, The Ladybug, was due to a serious physical illness. I woke up April 20, 2025, Easter Sunday, and was dreadfully sick. The eventual diagnosis was a tick-borne illness similar to Malaria, and I was placed on lots of medication and rest. I needed help to do everything, because my abilities with basic living were impacted. I have taken a long break from posting current photos of myself online, due to the full-body rash that itched and bothered me. I struggled with a constant fever and abdominal pain on both sides of my chest. Part of my relapse with anxiety is a consequence of the illness as well, because it attacks the nervous system. Perhaps the worst symptom has been the fatigue and exhaustion, which I can only compare to how I felt when I had covid-19. All to say, it would have been so easy to give up on God and just get mad at the situation I was in.
But instead, my faith is what got me through, and is continuing to sustain me through, all these recent tough days! God is Good! He loves me and longs to be in relationship with me, talking through prayer and devotion. Again, He surrounded me with loving people, my parents, and doctors, and I was never alone. Yes, I had moments of self-pity and despair, but overall, my feeling is one of gratitude for God’s great gift of life. I hope my story can inspire you to try saying a prayer. Are you anxious? Are you unhappy? Going through a struggle? Pray. Whisper a few words to the maker of the universe, and wait to hear His whisper back. We are never alone, and there is no problem in this life that Jesus has not already walked through. Let go and trust. Reach out and He will hold you close in return.
Wishing You Peace, G.
PS I am still in recovery from the tick-borne illness, but stay tuned to The Ladybug! New posts will be going up!! Thank you to my readers!
The Ladybug 