Is it Stressful or Not?
Dear readers of The Ladybug, today I want to talk honestly about moving. My friend bing.com says upon my search of how stressful moving is that the “Holmes-Rahe Social Readjustment Rating Scale assigns it a stress score of 42.69, ranking it 19th out of 43 life events.” I have included the link here: Bing.com Link Check it out for more detailed info! However, I do not need statistics to inform me of the joys and woes of moving because I have now done it so many times myself! But is it that stressful? Read on for my opinions…
Let me take you on a little journey through my life story:
I was born in Brattleboro, VT and for the first 2 years of my life I lived with my Mom and Dad (I am an only child) in Grafton, Vermont. Then we moved for 1 year to Bellows Falls, VT. All I can remember is that it was a very cold winter. My earliest memories are of huddling up to the heating vents in the apartment. Then we moved to Silver Springs, MD. I really hated Maryland. I went from too cold to too hot! Air conditioning was a must! I think the problem is that I am a New England gal and always will be!
Finally, after 3 miserable years in the Maryland heat, my parents and I moved back to New England. We settled in a moderate sized town in Massachusetts when I was 6 years old. This became the place I think of as my hometown, located in central MA, right outside of the city of Worcester. I lived with my parents in our family home, which was a big old Victorian Parsonage provided by the church where my Dad was a pastor. I stayed there until I was 24 years old.
Then came adulting! On August 1, 2011, I moved into my first apartment by myself. However, it was not that much of an independence move because I was still in the same neighborhood that I grew up in. After staying there for only 1 year, I moved to another apartment by myself, still located in the same town. I lived there for 2 and ½ years. You may wonder if this was a case of “failure to launch,” but I struggled a lot in my 20’s with my mental health, and I needed my parents’ support. In addition, I had the support of a case-management agency that I am still a client of to this day. Chronic mental illness can improve, and mine has over time, but it has taken awhile.
I did eventually branch out. When I moved into my 3rd apartment by myself, it was in a new town and neighborhood. My Dad also retired that year. While I was getting all independent, at age 28 now, my parents left me in Massachusetts and moved to their dream home in another New England state. I was very nervous. As I mentioned, I had relied heavily on my parents for support when I was battling my bipolar disorder symptoms throughout my 20’s. This was going to be a true test of whether I could begin adulting in earnest.
I am happy to report that I did pretty well. I made friends and found a wonderful church that became like a family. I also had a sweet cat named Ella, who was my emotional support animal. I stayed in that town and apartment for 5 and ½ years, my longest foray into adulthood yet. I was very content living there. So, why did I eventually leave? Unfortunately, the apartment developed a maintenance issue that the landlords were unwilling to repair, and it began to affect my health negatively. I began an arduous search for a new apartment.
On March 1, 2020, I moved into a new apartment back in my hometown, although in a different neighborhood that I was unfamiliar with. I thought I would get to explore and settle-in, BUT then the world shut down. Covid-19 hit and I was hibernating in my new place, with only my cat Ella for company. Covid-19 hit me hard personally as well. From 2020 to 2023, I had covid-19 three times, and severely each time. Once I ended up in the hospital, and twice I was diagnosed with long covid. I did not do much for three years except lay in my bed, eat, watch TV, and try to care for Ella. I gained 60 pounds. It was certainly a low point in my life.
In early 2023, around February, I decided to take a year off from the University I had been attending online. I focused on my health. I did physical therapy for an extended time and began a long weight loss journey. My church was thankfully still close to this 4th apartment, and so when it re-opened after the shutdown, I started to attend again. Life opened up. I found my joy returning. I thought that I would be stable for a while. Well, I was wrong!
In February 2024, I had no cats anymore after Ella passed, and another kitten had to be re-homed. I became distinctly aware that my parents were aging fast. I asked the director of the case management service (that I have my housing subsidy through) if I could move closer to Mom and Dad’s state line, while remaining in Massachusetts. I knew that my mental and physical health still required me to stay in the best state for care. In May 2024, I got my answer: Yes! They had an apartment for me in Northern MA. Time for apartment number 5! Are you dizzying yet?
This was a hard move. I said goodbye to a lot of dear friends that I still miss today. I left my church that was my family. I left my hometown and moved away the farthest that I had up to that point. But it turned out to be just in time. I was only in my new town and apartment for a couple months when my Mom severely injured herself, and my services were desperately needed. I have a certificate degree from a community college in Nurse Assisting, and it came in handy! Suddenly, for months on end, I was the new caretaker in the family. I went back and forth from my apartment to my parents’ house, helping with every kind of care possible. I was so glad that I could show up for Mom and Dad that way, after all that they had done for me!
Eventually, in the spring of 2025, my Mom was back on her feet, and I was less needed. But then I got sick. In April 2025, I found a tick bite on myself. Soon after I became terribly and seriously ill. I stayed with my parents as the cards flipped once more and they cared for me. That is what family is for.
As I write today, it is May 2, 2026, and I am still sick with those tick-borne illnesses. A full year later and I have not healed. Still on antibiotics and herbal tinctures and supplement pills. I take so many medications! What you may not have foreseen, given what I have said, is that I moved into a new apartment March 31, 2026, that is further from my parents, and where I know nobody! Hello number, 6! Let us hope you stick! I love this new apartment; it is the nicest place I have ever lived, and the neighborhood is great! It was maintenance problems, again, with apartment number 5 that drove me to have to move to this new place. However, I believe it will work out well. I am in a much better situation now, and there is room to flourish! I am quite excited about number 6.
So, from August 2011 to March 2026, I have had 6 apartments by myself. I have to say that I love an independent, child-free life! I will turn 40 years old in October 2026, and I am happy to say that I have few regrets in my living situations. Each place has offered its own adventures and memories. There are some people I miss, but that is the price I pay for being someone who cannot seem to settle down. I have never been married, although I have had 2 marriage proposals, and 1 engagement, which I ended. I have dated and hooked up, but none of my partners to this point have been the right one. And, since age 15, I have known that I did not want to be a mother to anyone other than fur babies. I do not do well with human children; however, I have all the respect in the world for mothers. I view being a mother as the hardest job possible, and I love my friends and their children! It is just not the path for me; it’s a personal choice. I live my life more like a nomad or a gypsy.
To conclude, is moving the most stressful event in my life? Would I rate it super high on a chart? Probably not. The actual physical act of moving is stressful, but I love new places and new people. I am not afraid of change. If I can continue to be social with new people, and not become too isolated, I can adjust. I am also very aware that it is a luxury to be able to move and to have as many opportunities as I have had for stable housing. Homelessness is a reality that can hit anyone, anytime. I have been truly blessed. I view my life as being meant to be lived as an adventure, and I value my freedom! Thank you God for my incredible life!
Peace Out, G.
PS If you would like to donate to a great homeless shelter and day program for those less fortunate, here is a wonderful place that could use your support:
The Ladybug 