Lately, life has been difficult. I have had to find inspiration in new places. Surprising places. Today, I would like to share one of those muses with you. Nature is a wonderful and mysterious thing, and I am discovering a new appreciation for flowers. Specifically, the resilience of flowering plants. The weather in New England, where I live, is ever variable. However, this spring and summer I have appreciated the beauty of flowers and how they continue to shine even on cloudy or rainy days. For today’s post on The Ladybug, I have selected 12 of my favorite flower photos that I’ve captured using my cell phone camera. Gazing upon these images during a particularly difficult day gives me hope for the future. If winter can be followed by these dazzling splendors, then my dark days must be leading up to new life and good times ahead. I know that God promises darkness will not last forever. It is my wish that these images inspire you as well. Never give up!
With Perseverance, G.
“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” Jeremiah 29:11
“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.” Hebrews 6:19
Trigger Warning: In this post I am breaking some rules of the eating disorder (ED) recovery world, because I am showing a photo, hoping to prove a point. However, if you are in recovery, please proceed with caution.
This is my own personal before and after photo:
The picture on the left is from December 2022, and the picture on the right is from July 20, 2025. The obvious difference is my weight loss. Many people, both strangers and those closer to me, have complimented me on how “good” I look currently. The implication is that smaller=better. I would argue that American society is obsessed with thinness in women. Somehow, we are supposed to strive for thinness constantly, and, if necessary, torture ourselves to get there. BUT, does smaller=healthy? Does smaller=happy? Should smaller=goals?
Let’s clear this up! I want to dive into the weight loss debate by sharing the story behind my own before/after picture. In the first “overweight” picture, I was on my way back recovering from an illness of Covid-19. I was staying at my parents’ house during the Christmas holiday. I was eating delicious, homecooked, and scrumptious meals prepared by my talented Mom. My body was feeling stronger and in a good healing place. I was enjoying walks with my Dad and the family dog. Most importantly, I was HAPPY! My body was not my only obsessive concern. Life was going okay. The status of my ED was, “under control.”
Now, fast-forward to today’s current photo. I am not healthy. My body has been through a lot this year. My chronic illnesses have been in a flare. In addition, I’ve had a horrible tick-borne illness and a severe bronchitis. It feels like one thing after another. More recently, my GI issues have flared, and eating is a battle. This problem with food includes nausea and vomiting, as well as some new un-treated problems. I have begun the healing process with a new team of doctors, but it is progressing slowly. I am damn miserable! I can not enjoy my Mom’s food. I can not eat my favorite dishes or savor my coffee. Yuck!
SO, which scenario sounds like a better way to live? I would honestly choose option number one that I described, and the accompanying photo. Unfortunately, that is not the feedback I have received from the general public, as well as medical professionals, and even friends and family. When I weighed more, my doctor was always telling me about the outdated BMI scale, and urging me to lose weight. In addition, the amount of attention I received from potential romantic/sexual partners decreased when I weighed more. No more whistles, no more date offers, and no more of that sweet sizzling tension in the air. I had, “let myself go.” Now that I am “attractive” again, I can feel the eyes back on me. I am not trying to sound vain in these observations, it is just the simple truth about the way beauty and sexual attraction is viewed in the USA. Celebrities are under the same pressure, especially women. When females are in the spotlight, they have a microscope on their bodies, constantly urging them to get smaller and more toned.
What is the solution? I will say an in-joke from my family, but perhaps you, readers, will like it too: “Fuck them if they can’t take a joke!” Do not care what other people think about your body, care only about your own health/happiness. There are so many more real markers of health which indicate a life well-lived than what shape your hips are. Do you have friends who love you? Family that supports you? A partner who respects you? Those blessings are worth their “weight” in GOLD. I know these truths due to personal experience with both the abundance and lack of these treasures.
I am not a doctor, but after 20 years of being diagnosed with an eating disorder, I can tell you that being fat is connected to very few actual health risks. You do not need to “lose the belly-fat.” In fact, women are supposed to have soft tummies so they can have babies. And what is more beautiful or joyful than bringing new life into this world? Ladies, please be gentle on yourselves, look on your curves as gifts. I know it is not always easy when the, “wellness,” industry is pushing against the truths I am presenting, but beauty does not need to be so narrowly defined.
In closing, I want to offer a hope that after reading this rather controversial post, you will begin to think through a little more the ways you are judging appearances. I include in this statement both your own appearance, and that of those around you. Although my post is targeted mainly for women, it can also be for other genders. The pressure to be thin is on all, and I want to make sure I recognize that there is room for multiple definitions of gender. So, have a good think now, and see how you can rebel against the diet and wellness communities. They are trying to sell you products for an unattainable shape. I think the only shape that truly matters is happiness. Try that one on and check the fit!
Walking is such a wonderful activity, and full of many different benefits! I do not take my ability to partake in this gift lightly! And walking truly is a gift, as it allows one to exercise in a gentle way. If you have read The Ladybug this year, you may already know that I feel especially connected to the Spirit of God while in nature and moving my body. I also like to partake in charity walks to raise money for worthy organizations that do good in our imperfect world. In addition, walking with a friend, family member, or group, is a blessed way to be in community and form connections. I could go on and on about the benefits of walking, but I want to get a little more personal with my readers today about my 2025 walking journey.
Walking is, in general, a little more difficult for me than for the “average” person. I have been diagnosed with POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardic Syndrome) and hEDS (hypermobile sub-type Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome). Both illnesses affect an individual’s ability to exercise. However, I persist with a routine of walking and yoga as a way of maintaining healthy and joyful movement in my life. The year 2025 began with a blast, with my body being strong enough to complete the American Cancer Society 31-Mile Challenge in January. I walked 42 miles in the month of January, while raising money to fight cancer.
As the year continued, I began to feel a bit like I was struggling with my health. I completed less mileage in the months of February and March. Half-way through March 2025, I became ill with a bad bronchitis and lay in bed feeling sorry for myself. In April 2025, I woke up on Easter Sunday extremely ill with a tick-borne illness like Malaria. If you want more details on that experience in my life, see my former Ladybug post I’m Back! Let’s Talk Honestly About Anxiety and Faith. By the end of May 2025, I was barely walking down to the mailbox.
Facing a huge deficit in my physical stamina for walking and getting outdoors for exercise has been hard on my mental health as well. As the month of June began, I was determined I would regain my strength. Gently, I began with restorative yoga practices. Then, walking 0.50 miles up and down the sidewalk near my apartment building. When I was visiting my parents’ home, I walked short distances with the family dog. I carefully stayed under a mile at first until I felt strong enough to barely reach that distance.
It seemed that my fitness was on an up-swing, but the universe had other plans! In early July, I was admitted to the hospital on a med/surge floor for testing and the procedures set me back yet again. When one has POTS and hEDS, it is harder to recover from “normal” testing which other individuals may bounce back from. I left the hospital on shaky legs, walking with a cane. I do not want to complain too much at this point, because let me be clear that walking is a privilege. Even with the set-back, I knew I was still blessed. So, the journey now starts again to gain momentum and stamina.
I would like to choose a charity walk in the Fall 2025 to plan to complete. It will be beneficial to have a goal to train for as I navigate the difficulties this year has thrown at me, and may continue to provide. Please comment your suggestions!! I live in New England, but virtual walks are welcome, too! Last October 2024, I completed a 10K distance virtual walk for The Jimmy Fund. I would like to choose a walk with a good cause. My walking journeys are never all about me. I like to use my body, in whatever shape she is in, to spread love to others. I hope that my passion for sticking to it and not giving up will inspire you as well. Think of a cause you love and find a walk/run/hike/roll that you can accomplish!!
In Progress, G.
PS The photo below is of me walking the family dog today. I completed 1.03 miles!
Confession: I am in a spiritual desert. Perhaps you can relate. Does the spirit just not feel quite as alive within you? Well, that is my experience. The major cause for me personally is stress!!! I would love to believe that I am such a great Christian as to not drift away from God during intense periods of stress, but who am I kidding?? When life is hard or unfair, I blame God. In my anger I step further and further away from Him. It may be a childish reaction. It may only make my circumstances more difficult. And…it may lead to the desert. Then I am alone and struggling.
So, what is the easy solution? There is none! But opening my eyes and looking around at my desert surroundings is the first step. I must realize that my toes are sinking in the sand. The desert is vast and mysterious. The first step is admitting that I’ve wandered there. If I stay in denial about my spiritual health, then God is unable to heal the relationship with me. Let me be very clear about one fact: God never steps away from us; we step away from Him. God always desires a loving and close bond with those He created. God never causes bad things to happen to His beloved. Instead, God longs for our relationship with Him to aid us in conquering the stress of a broken world.
The next step is sticking true to your personal spiritual rituals Even while you are in the desert. For example, if you connect with God in nature, then take a walk! If you connect with God through music, then lift your voice or other instrument! If you find God in art, then dance or paint! Never Give Up! The key to finding your way through the desert spiritually is to keep on trudging under the sun’s hot rays. Staying true to your passions connects you to the Spirit of Love. In turn, the Spirit intercedes for you with God, as described in Romans 8:26-27 in the Bible. I like to paraphrase this Scripture as such: the Spirit is a friend inside your heart that can relate to God what your thoughts and yearnings contain, all without words.
Ultimately, re-establishing a connection with God is the best tool for surviving the deep desert that we all may experience from time-to-time. Therefore, a third tip I will share is that trying something new in your spiritual routine or coping skills set is a great way to re-gain that connection. For example, in March 2024, I began volunteering to be a worship leader and sermon preacher at a local church. Previously, I mostly volunteered doing mission work, which I loved. However, I have now found that I have a passion for delivering sermons and organizing prayers. I feel the Joy of God when I engage in these activities. I find leading worship to be challenging and exciting as well. I would not have felt these wonderful feelings if I was afraid to try something new!
In addition, I want to make space for the fact that sometimes, engaging in new spiritual activities that require a healthy body or mind are not possible. I, myself, have experienced this reality recently. I have been struggling physically with a severe tick-borne illness, as well as the mental stress that results. If you are depressed, or facing any other mental health emergency, please seek professional support. I am blessed to benefit from an excellent support system of professional mental health care. Also, I would advise some other types of low-key forms of exercise. Some types I have used include: a stationary-bike, a yoga mat, and 2lbs weights that allow me to “work-out” gently. Movement can be beneficial for both chronic medical and mental illnesses. I find that moving my body, even slowly, connects me to God.
I will close by saying that though the journey is tough, it is worth it! God is a beautiful constant in a world of chaos. Draw close to Him, even if you are stressed, and He will respond. Keep Going on the road of faith! The desert is cruel and dusty, but even Jesus walked there, and with the aid of His Father in Heaven, Jesus walked out into eternal glory. He will help you out of desert living as well!
In Living Water, G.
PS: A picture of my time writing to you, Ladybug readers!!!
I feel anxious. I have been anxious all day. Do you ever feel anxious? It is hard for me to understand my anxiety, and even harder to control it. I used to apply various substances as balms for my anxious mental health: cigarettes, alcoholic drinks, and benzodiazepine pills. However, I now keep to a strict sober lifestyle. So, what to do? Over the years, psychologists have had me try all the usual “healthy” interventions, such as cognitive behavioral therapy or yoga and meditation. And, yes, yoga and guided meditation are tools that I use on a regular basis. However, when the anxiety is high and my system is on alert, these milder aids do nothing for me. I need to invoke that which is higher.
Prayer. Praying is the ultimate soothing release for my anxious tendencies. These prayers are messy and unfiltered. They sometimes are not even coherent sentences or words. God knows exactly what I need before I pray about it, and when I reach towards Him, the relief comes quickly. It is amazing to me that I worship a God who loves me so much that He accepts all my worries and concerns, whether large or small. Everything is okay, I can turn it over to the One who is really in charge. Thank God!
Perhaps you find my approach to simple? Do you doubt that prayers whispered in urgency can really relieve tough anxious pain? You are not alone, I used to feel that way, too. My faith as a young adult in my early 20’s was pretty much non-existent. I was going through a challenging time with my mental wellbeing, and I thought God had abandoned me. There were many moments when I wanted to give up. However, through the love of my family and friends, and the support of professionals, I survived. My faith in God began to resurface, and I started a long journey back to being a believer in Christ. Many times, my faith has been tested over the years. There have been scary times with both my physical and mental health. But God has always saved and protected me. In gratitude I have turned my life over to Him.
For example, my recent long absence from this blog, The Ladybug, was due to a serious physical illness. I woke up April 20, 2025, Easter Sunday, and was dreadfully sick. The eventual diagnosis was a tick-borne illness similar to Malaria, and I was placed on lots of medication and rest. I needed help to do everything, because my abilities with basic living were impacted. I have taken a long break from posting current photos of myself online, due to the full-body rash that itched and bothered me. I struggled with a constant fever and abdominal pain on both sides of my chest. Part of my relapse with anxiety is a consequence of the illness as well, because it attacks the nervous system. Perhaps the worst symptom has been the fatigue and exhaustion, which I can only compare to how I felt when I had covid-19. All to say, it would have been so easy to give up on God and just get mad at the situation I was in.
But instead, my faith is what got me through, and is continuing to sustain me through, all these recent tough days! God is Good! He loves me and longs to be in relationship with me, talking through prayer and devotion. Again, He surrounded me with loving people, my parents, and doctors, and I was never alone. Yes, I had moments of self-pity and despair, but overall, my feeling is one of gratitude for God’s great gift of life. I hope my story can inspire you to try saying a prayer. Are you anxious? Are you unhappy? Going through a struggle? Pray. Whisper a few words to the maker of the universe, and wait to hear His whisper back. We are never alone, and there is no problem in this life that Jesus has not already walked through. Let go and trust. Reach out and He will hold you close in return.
Wishing You Peace, G.
PS I am still in recovery from the tick-borne illness, but stay tuned to The Ladybug! New posts will be going up!! Thank you to my readers!
How does one cope when times are overwhelming? Recently, I have been feeling stressed for both societal and personal reasons. The USA is in a difficult spot politically, with a constant stream of bad news. In my own life, I am facing uncertainties medically, and am in a wait-and-see period. However, I can honestly say that despite these set-backs, I am feeling grateful and blessed. You may wonder if I am crazy and how this is possible…well, let me share my secrets.
My faith in God is the core of my life. I believe that I am never alone in the struggles I face. There is a greater force in the universe that guides my path. As a progressive Christian, this season of lent has been a time to draw closer to God and His promises for my life. God never promises that life will be easy or pain free. Instead, He assures us that we never travel this bumpy life alone. We have a loving companion in Jesus Christ, who comforts our hearts and holds us while we shed tears. There is a song that was written on the walls of a Nazi concentration camp during World War II by an anonymous author with the words, “I believe in God, even when He is silent.” The incredible faith of the author amazes me. During our tough times, God never disappears or walks away from us. Even when we can not sense Him as strongly, He is right there with His loving arms wrapped around us.
You may be asking yourself; how do I connect to God if I can not feel Him? My first answer is always the same: PRAY! Prayer is a great communication tool that God has gifted to us. Your prayer does not have to be perfect, pretty, or even make sense. Just start talking. Say what you need. A simple prayer of HELP is always a good start. Remember, God already knows what is going on in your life and what your needs are. He’s waiting to establish a loving dialogue with you. Another useful way to pray is to have a mantra, a word to repeat until you feel calm, such as “Abba” or “Father” or “Jesus.” The idea of prayer is to create a bond between you and the spirit of God; therefore, the technicalities and perfections of your words do not matter, only that you try. God is waiting to hear you!
Another great way to connect with God and feel God’s peace is to appreciate the beauties of the natural world. Depending on your circumstances and health, this may look like sitting in your back yard watching the birds, taking a walk in the woods, or even hiking a mountain trail. I have always found something incredibly soothing about nature and enjoying God’s creation. Meditation comes easily to me when I am alone with trees and flowers. The noise of man-made vehicles and busy streets blocks me from relaxation. However, if I can escape to a small moment of being “one with the universe” through observing nature, I feel I am at home. Nothing can rattle me as I feel God gently whisper, “If I can care for all of this, how much more do I love you, dear one?” When you feel like life is just too much to bear, find time to touch your palm to a tree trunk or flower petal, and know how much God loves you.
Finally, take time to read God’s Word. We are all very busy in American society, and taking time to read the Bible seems impossible at times. It may also seem intimidating to read a book like the Bible, with so many stories you may wonder where to start. I suggest finding a guided devotion that you enjoy to help your journey of the Word. I use The Upper Room and The Bible App. (Neither of these are sponsored) They are tools that help me to stay focused during my devotion time. In addition, I find several of the Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) books and meditation materials to be helpful in creating a spiritual reading program. AA guidebooks are great if you are unsure of where to begin with the Bible. Again, the purpose of studying written Word about God is not about trying to achieve perfection. Rather, the purpose is to connect you with the loving presence of the Spirit, in hopes that your stress and loneliness melts away. God is here, waiting for you to reach out!
To return to the stressors I mentioned at the beginning of this post, both national news and personal medical concerns, I find everything easier to handle and digest when I have armed myself with a close and personal relationship with God. I will say again, my faith is my rock, and it sees me through the difficulties of life. I urge you to seek out God through the channels I have mentioned, or through your own creative pathways. Connecting to a higher power is a chance to find freedom from your stress, and to let go of your burdens for a few hours and rest under God’s wings. You do not have to face challenges by yourself. There is a strength greater than human strength, and you can tap into that power for peace at any time, all you need do is ask.
One of my biggest passions is listening to music that matches my current moods and emotions. Life has been difficult lately, so, let’s have some fun! Here are my top 5 favorite pop albums that I am listening to on repeat! And, yes, I am old-school and I listen to CD’s.
5) The Killers: Direct Hits
I enjoy listening to a well-done greatest-hits album from time to time, and The Killers deliver a nice package deal with their version. I feel quite nostalgic listening to this CD, because The Killers first became popular when I was in high school. As a sophomore in college at age 20, I would cruise around in my car blasting When You Were Young like I just couldn’t get enough of it! The combination of rock and pop that embodies The Killers’ sound appeals to me, and I love to dance around the room to this album like no one is watching. And, if someone is watching, I do not care!!
4) Lady Gaga: Harlequin
One thing that I love about Lady Gaga’s sound is that it is ever evolving. As an artist, Lady Gaga is not afraid to take risks and try something new. She is a multi-dimensional musical genius! Harlequin is a fascinating album to listen to, as Lady Gaga flexes her vocal talent to include jazz and big band sounds. I especially love the tracks Oh, When the Saints and The Joker. The styling of the CD cover is part of the appeal, with Lady Gaga embracing her role in the movie Joker: Folie a Deux. I have not seen the movie, but I am glad that it inspired the singer to explore new sides of her artistry on this interesting album.
3) Taylor Swift: Lover
Yes, folks, I am a Swiftie! I have no problem admitting it! I did not get the opportunity to attend The Eras Tour, but I watched quite a bit of film from the concerts. And, I will admit, I purchased an Eras Tour sweatshirt. The reason I mention the tour, is because the opening era is from the Lover album. Before watching tour footage, I never really appreciated Lover. To be honest, it was one of my least favorite albums by Swift. However, after the popularity of the tune Cruel Summer, I decided to give Lover another listen. What I found was a much more complex and layered album than I had originally thought Lover to be. From heartbreak to true love to a family member’s health scare, it was a diverse and genius work of art. I have a new found appreciation for Lover, and listen to it frequently!
2) Beyonce: I Am… Sasha Fierce
It is difficult to pick my favorite Beyonce album to add to this list, but I believe that I Am…Sasha Fierce is my current favorite. I love to wake up early in the morning, brew some coffee, and read my Bible while listening to this album. I then proceed to journal my feelings and reflect on what I have read. I love that this album starts off slow, and then really picks up the pace. It is the perfect compliment to my morning devotions. Beyonce is so gifted in her range and singing ability, that I am sure she would sound great singing almost any genera. Her albums over the years have showcased her talent in this area, especially with her recent Grammy-award winning country album Cowboy Carter. However, I will always love hearing her silky-smooth voice sing Halo, and then proceed to belt-out Single Ladies (Put a Ring on it). Thank you, Queen Bey!!
Lana Del Rey: Chemtrails Over the Country Club
To say that I am a huge Lana Del Rey fan is an understatement! I find her voice to be intoxicating. Her ability to sound full of emotion and sadness and soul is music to my ears. I love her lusty crooning abilities, and the intense control she has over her voice. This album has a jazz/blues musicality that I really enjoy. I also am a fan of Lana Del Rey’s lyrics, and I love that she is a little bit controversial. She does not back away from making things sexy, raw, and real. I value honesty in an artist, and I want their music to touch a real feeling inside of me. I can relate to a lot of what Lana Del Rey sings about, and I love that she does not pretend to be perfect or without fault. She is the total package of what an artist should be: vocally talented, musically creative, and lyrically interesting. I was not at all hesitant to pick Lana Del Rey as my number one, the only difficulty was choosing which one of her albums I love best. However, this one has been on repeat for me recently, and I suggest that you check it out!
So, there you go! My listening choices for pop albums. I am also a fan of other musical genera, so perhaps we will revisit this type of blog post another time! Keep listening!
Jamming out, G.
PS This is a flashback photo from early March 2025 of me wearing my Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour sweatshirt!
I am inspired by Senator Cory Booker’s record-breaking 25-hour senate speech that took place from Monday to Tuesday. As I tuned in to watch Senator Booker’s impassioned talk, I was struck by his call for unity. He specifically emphasized that the problems which Americans are facing are, “not right or left, but right or wrong.” I agree that division in our country is being caused by problems that are a matter of good vs. evil, and are not a matter of Republican vs. Democrat. In fact, Senator Booker repeatedly spoke about his desire to work in a bipartisan way. I firmly believe in an America where political leaders can join for the good of the people, the nation, and the Constitution, without letting party loyalty cloud their judgement.
The issues I have with the Trump administration are, in fact, issues of morality, and not politics. Specifically, many of my issues with the current leadership involve my belief that they are acting in a way that expressly goes against the teachings of the Bible. Jesus in his ministry welcomed the poor, the ostracized, the immigrant, the sick, the widowed, the homeless, the disabled, and the sick. Donald Trump does not care about anyone in these categories. All the current president’s policies attack those that the Bible supports. I call myself a progressive Christian, and as such, I can not support those in power who are attacking all my beliefs. I must peacefully resist.
However, this strong opinion of mine raises an interesting dilemma: do I then also not support my friends who are Trump followers? I indeed have many friends and acquaintances who are much more conservative politically than I am, and I know many voted for Trump in the presidential race in November 2024. How do I reconcile my moral compass and my values as a progressive Christian with my social circles? Well, what would Jesus do? Again, I must turn to the Bible for guidance.
A verse from the Bible App caught my eye, “Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” 1 John 4:11. I must love those whom God puts in my life. Jesus’ gospel is about love. Jesus constantly shared love with everyone He met. The quote from 1 John is a reminder of God’s desire for Christians to be a loving presence in a broken and fallen world. Loving others is not easy, especially when there are differences of opinion. But I am determined to rise to the challenge of loving those I disagree with, because God is calling me to do so.
Coming full-circle to Senator Booker’s speech, I want to emphasize that a spirit of unity, and a commitment to love, does not mean that I condone evil. The Trump administration is enacting some truly evil policies, and I will let my pen and my vote speak for me. I will follow my values system and my conscience when I make decisions about my life and my actions. But I must constantly persevere with an attitude of compassion, empathy, and respect for my fellow Americans, despite which political party they belong to.
America is being tested. Can we respond to the threat on our Constitution and our laws? Can we protect the most vulnerable populations that live in this great country? Are we truly the land of the free? We must answer this crossroads moment in history with a resounding cry of unity and love for all, and a defense of all we hold dear for who we are as a nation. In contrast, an approach of division and hate will only bring about our downfall. Please join me in advocating for what is just and fair, whether you are on the right or the left side, let us be together on the American side.
Are you struggling with today’s news? Me too! I have copied below the sermon I wrote for today’s service at a church where I provide pulpit supply. I hope it will help you! The topic is on forgiveness, specifically forgiving societies and national leaders. I feel that this topic is quite relevant to the concerns of today’s world. Unfortunately, I was sick today and did not deliver this message in person, and so a fellow church member did a wonderful job bringing it to life on my behalf. However, I believe that the message of forgiveness is an important one, and I hope you find inspiration from my take on this topic. Thank you. Blessings, G.
Scripture: New Testament: Luke 23: 33-34
Sermon
Forgiving Societies/National Leaders
Good morning. Today is the final Sunday in the sermon series on forgiveness. We will be looking at forgiving a society or national leader who you feel has caused suffering. This is an extremely difficult type of forgiveness, because we often do not have control over decisions made by government leaders, even though those decisions may affect us negatively. For this reason, I believe that forgiving societal policies or governing officials is the hardest form of forgiveness, and perhaps is not always possible. However, we can look to both Jesus and to other devout Christians for examples of how to achieve forgiveness.
First, I would like to look at the words of Jesus from today’s scripture reading. As Jesus is being crucified for crimes he did not commit, he speaks the words, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” A short but powerful sentence. Jesus is forgiving the political and religious leaders who nailed him to the cross. He knows that they are ignorant of the enormity of the evil in their actions. Jesus’ forgiveness in his moment of suffering and death amazes me. How can I hope to replicate His actions and attitude? If I were in a similar situation, where my life was tormented or taken due to a political leader, could I forgive that person? Would I be able to follow the example of Jesus?
I would like to tell you the true story of a woman who did achieve the seemingly impossible, and followed the example of forgiveness demonstrated by Jesus. I met Irene Gut Opdyke when I was 14 years old while attending a reading for her book tour in May 2001. Mrs. Opdyke wrote a book entitled In My Hands, about her experiences as a resistance fighter during World War II. She was personally responsible for rescuing 16 Jewish people, at risk to her own life and safety. When I met her face-to-face while having my copy of her book signed, she took my face in her hands and whispered the word, “Beautiful.” I looked into her clear blue eyes and I felt a peace and calm come over me, as if I were meeting an angel. I will never forget that moment. Let me tell you more of her story.
Mrs. Opdyke was born Irene Gut in Poland on May 5, 1918. When Word War II began, she was 17 years old, and training as a nurse in a Polish hospital. The war took her across Poland to many locations as the country became occupied by the Russians and the Germans. Finally, she ended up working at a dining hall doing slave labor for the Nazis. Initially, Irene was unaware of the extent of violence and evil that the Nazis were enacting on the Jewish people. However, by age 20, Irene began to witness first-hand what the Nazis were capable of, and she dedicated herself to fighting against them. She began slowly at first, by smuggling food into concentration camps. Soon, she had the opportunity to expand her resistance.
While working at the dining hall, Irene gained the attention and favor of an older Nazi major, who I will call Major R. for ease of pronunciation. Irene used his affection to press her advantage in aiding the Jews in the nearby camp and ghetto. Eventually, Major R. asked Irene to move in with him as a housekeeper at a nearby villa. Irene set up the basement of the villa as a hiding place, and kept 13 Jews secret whom she had rescued from a murderous raid by the Nazis. However, one day she was caught with two of her Jewish rescues in the villa’s kitchen by Major R. She begged him not to turn herself and the Jews in to be killed. Major R. was furious, but he agreed to keep her secret if she would become his mistress. Irene agreed, feeling that she had no other choice, even though it was, as she described it, “shameful and humiliating.”
Throughout her recounting of the experiences of the war, and all the suffering she endured so that she might aid the Jews, Irene described a devout faith in God. There were periods where she wondered if God was around, due to the evil she was viewing, such as public executions. But Irene always came back to prayer and visiting churches whenever she was faced with tough situations. She never lost hope, and she never gave up on finding small moments of God’s love with her companions. Irene remarked more than once of the beauty of nature that God created which seemed untouched by the ravages of war. For example, the birds would still sing, and the seasons would still change. The day after Major R. took her as his mistress, the first thing Irene did was attend a mass at the local church. She said in her book, “I had God’s blessing, I was never more sure of anything.”
I believe that it was this intense faith in God, which sustained Irene during the perils and trials of World War II, that eventually led to a moment of forgiveness towards Major R. He had forced her to come with him while the Germans were retreating from the Russians at the end of the war. At night, while he was securing her a hotel room, she said, “In spite of everything, I felt grateful to him; he had helped me save many lives. I was already forgiving him for what he had put me through.” When Major R. left the hotel for the night, Irene escaped him, and joined the resistance guerilla fighters who were living nearby in the woods. They were the only people she knew who would look after her.
Irene began to confront her anger at the Germans and Russians for invading Poland by acting as a spy for the resistance. However, she felt uncomfortable with the violence of the guerilla army, and eventually left to look for her family. When her search for her loved ones was unproductive, she transitioned to working at a hospital for displaced Jews and used her old nursing skills. These steps aided Irene in a slow process of accepting her experiences in the war.
In a similar way, when we feel that forgiveness for a government is too hard to accomplish, we can take a step towards forgiveness through our behavior. Perhaps we cannot change the world, but we can have an impact such as the one Irene had. By following God’s will through righteous action, we free ourselves from the burden of anger in our hearts that can block forgiveness. We must let God hold our leaders accountable for their sins. It is only our job to take what action we can to combat injustices.
Irene Gut Opdyke eventually immigrated to America, and lived to age 85. She wrote her book as a response to Holocaust deniers in the USA. She began touring for her book, which was published in 1999, to remind Americans that the Holocaust was true and terrible. However, her overwhelming message was one of faith in God and she emphasized the love we must have for each other. In the dedication to her book the words, “Remember, love not hate,” stood out to me. She lived through tragedy, but she triumphed with a message of love and forgiveness despite it all. I encourage you to learn from her example. I am truly humbled by her story, and the life she led. God calls us close to Him, to live, love, and forgive like Him. If Irene Gut Opdyke can forgive a Nazi officer and let God work through her, we can follow in her wake in our everyday lives. Let us gain courage from the example of Jesus and His servant Irene, to act with a forgiving heart.
Today, I would like to share a relaxing post about my favorite way to de-stress. Whenever I am upset, sad, anxious, or just overwhelmed, I go for a walk. Specifically, I try to connect with nature. Yes, I am a tree-hugger. I feel that the natural world is the best therapist. When I walk in the woods, I feel God with me more than at any other time. The silence of the forest, and the occasional interruption of bird song, puts me in a Zen state of mind. I consider myself blessed to live in New England, where I can experience four unique seasons, and the beautiful weather that goes along with each one. We are certainly living in troubling times in our country and world, and so my daily walks are becoming more precious to me. I decided that the best use of my blog in this post would be to spread some joy with a little nature photography exhibit. Below are ten nature photos that I simply took with my smartphone during my winter walks this year. Please relax and enjoy! If you feel so inspired, go outside for a little dose of nature yourself! Blessings, G.
The Ladybug 