I feel anxious. I have been anxious all day. Do you ever feel anxious? It is hard for me to understand my anxiety, and even harder to control it. I used to apply various substances as balms for my anxious mental health: cigarettes, alcoholic drinks, and benzodiazepine pills. However, I now keep to a strict sober lifestyle. So, what to do? Over the years, psychologists have had me try all the usual “healthy” interventions, such as cognitive behavioral therapy or yoga and meditation. And, yes, yoga and guided meditation are tools that I use on a regular basis. However, when the anxiety is high and my system is on alert, these milder aids do nothing for me. I need to invoke that which is higher.
Prayer. Praying is the ultimate soothing release for my anxious tendencies. These prayers are messy and unfiltered. They sometimes are not even coherent sentences or words. God knows exactly what I need before I pray about it, and when I reach towards Him, the relief comes quickly. It is amazing to me that I worship a God who loves me so much that He accepts all my worries and concerns, whether large or small. Everything is okay, I can turn it over to the One who is really in charge. Thank God!
Perhaps you find my approach to simple? Do you doubt that prayers whispered in urgency can really relieve tough anxious pain? You are not alone, I used to feel that way, too. My faith as a young adult in my early 20’s was pretty much non-existent. I was going through a challenging time with my mental wellbeing, and I thought God had abandoned me. There were many moments when I wanted to give up. However, through the love of my family and friends, and the support of professionals, I survived. My faith in God began to resurface, and I started a long journey back to being a believer in Christ. Many times, my faith has been tested over the years. There have been scary times with both my physical and mental health. But God has always saved and protected me. In gratitude I have turned my life over to Him.
For example, my recent long absence from this blog, The Ladybug, was due to a serious physical illness. I woke up April 20, 2025, Easter Sunday, and was dreadfully sick. The eventual diagnosis was a tick-borne illness similar to Malaria, and I was placed on lots of medication and rest. I needed help to do everything, because my abilities with basic living were impacted. I have taken a long break from posting current photos of myself online, due to the full-body rash that itched and bothered me. I struggled with a constant fever and abdominal pain on both sides of my chest. Part of my relapse with anxiety is a consequence of the illness as well, because it attacks the nervous system. Perhaps the worst symptom has been the fatigue and exhaustion, which I can only compare to how I felt when I had covid-19. All to say, it would have been so easy to give up on God and just get mad at the situation I was in.
But instead, my faith is what got me through, and is continuing to sustain me through, all these recent tough days! God is Good! He loves me and longs to be in relationship with me, talking through prayer and devotion. Again, He surrounded me with loving people, my parents, and doctors, and I was never alone. Yes, I had moments of self-pity and despair, but overall, my feeling is one of gratitude for God’s great gift of life. I hope my story can inspire you to try saying a prayer. Are you anxious? Are you unhappy? Going through a struggle? Pray. Whisper a few words to the maker of the universe, and wait to hear His whisper back. We are never alone, and there is no problem in this life that Jesus has not already walked through. Let go and trust. Reach out and He will hold you close in return.
Wishing You Peace, G.
PS I am still in recovery from the tick-borne illness, but stay tuned to The Ladybug! New posts will be going up!! Thank you to my readers!
How does one cope when times are overwhelming? Recently, I have been feeling stressed for both societal and personal reasons. The USA is in a difficult spot politically, with a constant stream of bad news. In my own life, I am facing uncertainties medically, and am in a wait-and-see period. However, I can honestly say that despite these set-backs, I am feeling grateful and blessed. You may wonder if I am crazy and how this is possible…well, let me share my secrets.
My faith in God is the core of my life. I believe that I am never alone in the struggles I face. There is a greater force in the universe that guides my path. As a progressive Christian, this season of lent has been a time to draw closer to God and His promises for my life. God never promises that life will be easy or pain free. Instead, He assures us that we never travel this bumpy life alone. We have a loving companion in Jesus Christ, who comforts our hearts and holds us while we shed tears. There is a song that was written on the walls of a Nazi concentration camp during World War II by an anonymous author with the words, “I believe in God, even when He is silent.” The incredible faith of the author amazes me. During our tough times, God never disappears or walks away from us. Even when we can not sense Him as strongly, He is right there with His loving arms wrapped around us.
You may be asking yourself; how do I connect to God if I can not feel Him? My first answer is always the same: PRAY! Prayer is a great communication tool that God has gifted to us. Your prayer does not have to be perfect, pretty, or even make sense. Just start talking. Say what you need. A simple prayer of HELP is always a good start. Remember, God already knows what is going on in your life and what your needs are. He’s waiting to establish a loving dialogue with you. Another useful way to pray is to have a mantra, a word to repeat until you feel calm, such as “Abba” or “Father” or “Jesus.” The idea of prayer is to create a bond between you and the spirit of God; therefore, the technicalities and perfections of your words do not matter, only that you try. God is waiting to hear you!
Another great way to connect with God and feel God’s peace is to appreciate the beauties of the natural world. Depending on your circumstances and health, this may look like sitting in your back yard watching the birds, taking a walk in the woods, or even hiking a mountain trail. I have always found something incredibly soothing about nature and enjoying God’s creation. Meditation comes easily to me when I am alone with trees and flowers. The noise of man-made vehicles and busy streets blocks me from relaxation. However, if I can escape to a small moment of being “one with the universe” through observing nature, I feel I am at home. Nothing can rattle me as I feel God gently whisper, “If I can care for all of this, how much more do I love you, dear one?” When you feel like life is just too much to bear, find time to touch your palm to a tree trunk or flower petal, and know how much God loves you.
Finally, take time to read God’s Word. We are all very busy in American society, and taking time to read the Bible seems impossible at times. It may also seem intimidating to read a book like the Bible, with so many stories you may wonder where to start. I suggest finding a guided devotion that you enjoy to help your journey of the Word. I use The Upper Room and The Bible App. (Neither of these are sponsored) They are tools that help me to stay focused during my devotion time. In addition, I find several of the Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) books and meditation materials to be helpful in creating a spiritual reading program. AA guidebooks are great if you are unsure of where to begin with the Bible. Again, the purpose of studying written Word about God is not about trying to achieve perfection. Rather, the purpose is to connect you with the loving presence of the Spirit, in hopes that your stress and loneliness melts away. God is here, waiting for you to reach out!
To return to the stressors I mentioned at the beginning of this post, both national news and personal medical concerns, I find everything easier to handle and digest when I have armed myself with a close and personal relationship with God. I will say again, my faith is my rock, and it sees me through the difficulties of life. I urge you to seek out God through the channels I have mentioned, or through your own creative pathways. Connecting to a higher power is a chance to find freedom from your stress, and to let go of your burdens for a few hours and rest under God’s wings. You do not have to face challenges by yourself. There is a strength greater than human strength, and you can tap into that power for peace at any time, all you need do is ask.
One of my biggest passions is listening to music that matches my current moods and emotions. Life has been difficult lately, so, let’s have some fun! Here are my top 5 favorite pop albums that I am listening to on repeat! And, yes, I am old-school and I listen to CD’s.
5) The Killers: Direct Hits
I enjoy listening to a well-done greatest-hits album from time to time, and The Killers deliver a nice package deal with their version. I feel quite nostalgic listening to this CD, because The Killers first became popular when I was in high school. As a sophomore in college at age 20, I would cruise around in my car blasting When You Were Young like I just couldn’t get enough of it! The combination of rock and pop that embodies The Killers’ sound appeals to me, and I love to dance around the room to this album like no one is watching. And, if someone is watching, I do not care!!
4) Lady Gaga: Harlequin
One thing that I love about Lady Gaga’s sound is that it is ever evolving. As an artist, Lady Gaga is not afraid to take risks and try something new. She is a multi-dimensional musical genius! Harlequin is a fascinating album to listen to, as Lady Gaga flexes her vocal talent to include jazz and big band sounds. I especially love the tracks Oh, When the Saints and The Joker. The styling of the CD cover is part of the appeal, with Lady Gaga embracing her role in the movie Joker: Folie a Deux. I have not seen the movie, but I am glad that it inspired the singer to explore new sides of her artistry on this interesting album.
3) Taylor Swift: Lover
Yes, folks, I am a Swiftie! I have no problem admitting it! I did not get the opportunity to attend The Eras Tour, but I watched quite a bit of film from the concerts. And, I will admit, I purchased an Eras Tour sweatshirt. The reason I mention the tour, is because the opening era is from the Lover album. Before watching tour footage, I never really appreciated Lover. To be honest, it was one of my least favorite albums by Swift. However, after the popularity of the tune Cruel Summer, I decided to give Lover another listen. What I found was a much more complex and layered album than I had originally thought Lover to be. From heartbreak to true love to a family member’s health scare, it was a diverse and genius work of art. I have a new found appreciation for Lover, and listen to it frequently!
2) Beyonce: I Am… Sasha Fierce
It is difficult to pick my favorite Beyonce album to add to this list, but I believe that I Am…Sasha Fierce is my current favorite. I love to wake up early in the morning, brew some coffee, and read my Bible while listening to this album. I then proceed to journal my feelings and reflect on what I have read. I love that this album starts off slow, and then really picks up the pace. It is the perfect compliment to my morning devotions. Beyonce is so gifted in her range and singing ability, that I am sure she would sound great singing almost any genera. Her albums over the years have showcased her talent in this area, especially with her recent Grammy-award winning country album Cowboy Carter. However, I will always love hearing her silky-smooth voice sing Halo, and then proceed to belt-out Single Ladies (Put a Ring on it). Thank you, Queen Bey!!
Lana Del Rey: Chemtrails Over the Country Club
To say that I am a huge Lana Del Rey fan is an understatement! I find her voice to be intoxicating. Her ability to sound full of emotion and sadness and soul is music to my ears. I love her lusty crooning abilities, and the intense control she has over her voice. This album has a jazz/blues musicality that I really enjoy. I also am a fan of Lana Del Rey’s lyrics, and I love that she is a little bit controversial. She does not back away from making things sexy, raw, and real. I value honesty in an artist, and I want their music to touch a real feeling inside of me. I can relate to a lot of what Lana Del Rey sings about, and I love that she does not pretend to be perfect or without fault. She is the total package of what an artist should be: vocally talented, musically creative, and lyrically interesting. I was not at all hesitant to pick Lana Del Rey as my number one, the only difficulty was choosing which one of her albums I love best. However, this one has been on repeat for me recently, and I suggest that you check it out!
So, there you go! My listening choices for pop albums. I am also a fan of other musical genera, so perhaps we will revisit this type of blog post another time! Keep listening!
Jamming out, G.
PS This is a flashback photo from early March 2025 of me wearing my Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour sweatshirt!
I am inspired by Senator Cory Booker’s record-breaking 25-hour senate speech that took place from Monday to Tuesday. As I tuned in to watch Senator Booker’s impassioned talk, I was struck by his call for unity. He specifically emphasized that the problems which Americans are facing are, “not right or left, but right or wrong.” I agree that division in our country is being caused by problems that are a matter of good vs. evil, and are not a matter of Republican vs. Democrat. In fact, Senator Booker repeatedly spoke about his desire to work in a bipartisan way. I firmly believe in an America where political leaders can join for the good of the people, the nation, and the Constitution, without letting party loyalty cloud their judgement.
The issues I have with the Trump administration are, in fact, issues of morality, and not politics. Specifically, many of my issues with the current leadership involve my belief that they are acting in a way that expressly goes against the teachings of the Bible. Jesus in his ministry welcomed the poor, the ostracized, the immigrant, the sick, the widowed, the homeless, the disabled, and the sick. Donald Trump does not care about anyone in these categories. All the current president’s policies attack those that the Bible supports. I call myself a progressive Christian, and as such, I can not support those in power who are attacking all my beliefs. I must peacefully resist.
However, this strong opinion of mine raises an interesting dilemma: do I then also not support my friends who are Trump followers? I indeed have many friends and acquaintances who are much more conservative politically than I am, and I know many voted for Trump in the presidential race in November 2024. How do I reconcile my moral compass and my values as a progressive Christian with my social circles? Well, what would Jesus do? Again, I must turn to the Bible for guidance.
A verse from the Bible App caught my eye, “Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” 1 John 4:11. I must love those whom God puts in my life. Jesus’ gospel is about love. Jesus constantly shared love with everyone He met. The quote from 1 John is a reminder of God’s desire for Christians to be a loving presence in a broken and fallen world. Loving others is not easy, especially when there are differences of opinion. But I am determined to rise to the challenge of loving those I disagree with, because God is calling me to do so.
Coming full-circle to Senator Booker’s speech, I want to emphasize that a spirit of unity, and a commitment to love, does not mean that I condone evil. The Trump administration is enacting some truly evil policies, and I will let my pen and my vote speak for me. I will follow my values system and my conscience when I make decisions about my life and my actions. But I must constantly persevere with an attitude of compassion, empathy, and respect for my fellow Americans, despite which political party they belong to.
America is being tested. Can we respond to the threat on our Constitution and our laws? Can we protect the most vulnerable populations that live in this great country? Are we truly the land of the free? We must answer this crossroads moment in history with a resounding cry of unity and love for all, and a defense of all we hold dear for who we are as a nation. In contrast, an approach of division and hate will only bring about our downfall. Please join me in advocating for what is just and fair, whether you are on the right or the left side, let us be together on the American side.
Are you struggling with today’s news? Me too! I have copied below the sermon I wrote for today’s service at a church where I provide pulpit supply. I hope it will help you! The topic is on forgiveness, specifically forgiving societies and national leaders. I feel that this topic is quite relevant to the concerns of today’s world. Unfortunately, I was sick today and did not deliver this message in person, and so a fellow church member did a wonderful job bringing it to life on my behalf. However, I believe that the message of forgiveness is an important one, and I hope you find inspiration from my take on this topic. Thank you. Blessings, G.
Scripture: New Testament: Luke 23: 33-34
Sermon
Forgiving Societies/National Leaders
Good morning. Today is the final Sunday in the sermon series on forgiveness. We will be looking at forgiving a society or national leader who you feel has caused suffering. This is an extremely difficult type of forgiveness, because we often do not have control over decisions made by government leaders, even though those decisions may affect us negatively. For this reason, I believe that forgiving societal policies or governing officials is the hardest form of forgiveness, and perhaps is not always possible. However, we can look to both Jesus and to other devout Christians for examples of how to achieve forgiveness.
First, I would like to look at the words of Jesus from today’s scripture reading. As Jesus is being crucified for crimes he did not commit, he speaks the words, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” A short but powerful sentence. Jesus is forgiving the political and religious leaders who nailed him to the cross. He knows that they are ignorant of the enormity of the evil in their actions. Jesus’ forgiveness in his moment of suffering and death amazes me. How can I hope to replicate His actions and attitude? If I were in a similar situation, where my life was tormented or taken due to a political leader, could I forgive that person? Would I be able to follow the example of Jesus?
I would like to tell you the true story of a woman who did achieve the seemingly impossible, and followed the example of forgiveness demonstrated by Jesus. I met Irene Gut Opdyke when I was 14 years old while attending a reading for her book tour in May 2001. Mrs. Opdyke wrote a book entitled In My Hands, about her experiences as a resistance fighter during World War II. She was personally responsible for rescuing 16 Jewish people, at risk to her own life and safety. When I met her face-to-face while having my copy of her book signed, she took my face in her hands and whispered the word, “Beautiful.” I looked into her clear blue eyes and I felt a peace and calm come over me, as if I were meeting an angel. I will never forget that moment. Let me tell you more of her story.
Mrs. Opdyke was born Irene Gut in Poland on May 5, 1918. When Word War II began, she was 17 years old, and training as a nurse in a Polish hospital. The war took her across Poland to many locations as the country became occupied by the Russians and the Germans. Finally, she ended up working at a dining hall doing slave labor for the Nazis. Initially, Irene was unaware of the extent of violence and evil that the Nazis were enacting on the Jewish people. However, by age 20, Irene began to witness first-hand what the Nazis were capable of, and she dedicated herself to fighting against them. She began slowly at first, by smuggling food into concentration camps. Soon, she had the opportunity to expand her resistance.
While working at the dining hall, Irene gained the attention and favor of an older Nazi major, who I will call Major R. for ease of pronunciation. Irene used his affection to press her advantage in aiding the Jews in the nearby camp and ghetto. Eventually, Major R. asked Irene to move in with him as a housekeeper at a nearby villa. Irene set up the basement of the villa as a hiding place, and kept 13 Jews secret whom she had rescued from a murderous raid by the Nazis. However, one day she was caught with two of her Jewish rescues in the villa’s kitchen by Major R. She begged him not to turn herself and the Jews in to be killed. Major R. was furious, but he agreed to keep her secret if she would become his mistress. Irene agreed, feeling that she had no other choice, even though it was, as she described it, “shameful and humiliating.”
Throughout her recounting of the experiences of the war, and all the suffering she endured so that she might aid the Jews, Irene described a devout faith in God. There were periods where she wondered if God was around, due to the evil she was viewing, such as public executions. But Irene always came back to prayer and visiting churches whenever she was faced with tough situations. She never lost hope, and she never gave up on finding small moments of God’s love with her companions. Irene remarked more than once of the beauty of nature that God created which seemed untouched by the ravages of war. For example, the birds would still sing, and the seasons would still change. The day after Major R. took her as his mistress, the first thing Irene did was attend a mass at the local church. She said in her book, “I had God’s blessing, I was never more sure of anything.”
I believe that it was this intense faith in God, which sustained Irene during the perils and trials of World War II, that eventually led to a moment of forgiveness towards Major R. He had forced her to come with him while the Germans were retreating from the Russians at the end of the war. At night, while he was securing her a hotel room, she said, “In spite of everything, I felt grateful to him; he had helped me save many lives. I was already forgiving him for what he had put me through.” When Major R. left the hotel for the night, Irene escaped him, and joined the resistance guerilla fighters who were living nearby in the woods. They were the only people she knew who would look after her.
Irene began to confront her anger at the Germans and Russians for invading Poland by acting as a spy for the resistance. However, she felt uncomfortable with the violence of the guerilla army, and eventually left to look for her family. When her search for her loved ones was unproductive, she transitioned to working at a hospital for displaced Jews and used her old nursing skills. These steps aided Irene in a slow process of accepting her experiences in the war.
In a similar way, when we feel that forgiveness for a government is too hard to accomplish, we can take a step towards forgiveness through our behavior. Perhaps we cannot change the world, but we can have an impact such as the one Irene had. By following God’s will through righteous action, we free ourselves from the burden of anger in our hearts that can block forgiveness. We must let God hold our leaders accountable for their sins. It is only our job to take what action we can to combat injustices.
Irene Gut Opdyke eventually immigrated to America, and lived to age 85. She wrote her book as a response to Holocaust deniers in the USA. She began touring for her book, which was published in 1999, to remind Americans that the Holocaust was true and terrible. However, her overwhelming message was one of faith in God and she emphasized the love we must have for each other. In the dedication to her book the words, “Remember, love not hate,” stood out to me. She lived through tragedy, but she triumphed with a message of love and forgiveness despite it all. I encourage you to learn from her example. I am truly humbled by her story, and the life she led. God calls us close to Him, to live, love, and forgive like Him. If Irene Gut Opdyke can forgive a Nazi officer and let God work through her, we can follow in her wake in our everyday lives. Let us gain courage from the example of Jesus and His servant Irene, to act with a forgiving heart.
Today, I would like to share a relaxing post about my favorite way to de-stress. Whenever I am upset, sad, anxious, or just overwhelmed, I go for a walk. Specifically, I try to connect with nature. Yes, I am a tree-hugger. I feel that the natural world is the best therapist. When I walk in the woods, I feel God with me more than at any other time. The silence of the forest, and the occasional interruption of bird song, puts me in a Zen state of mind. I consider myself blessed to live in New England, where I can experience four unique seasons, and the beautiful weather that goes along with each one. We are certainly living in troubling times in our country and world, and so my daily walks are becoming more precious to me. I decided that the best use of my blog in this post would be to spread some joy with a little nature photography exhibit. Below are ten nature photos that I simply took with my smartphone during my winter walks this year. Please relax and enjoy! If you feel so inspired, go outside for a little dose of nature yourself! Blessings, G.
Today on The Ladybug, I want to talk about another controversial topic: Sex and birth control. As a 38-year-old woman, I have decided not to have children. I feel confident, happy, and secure in my resolve to not be a mother. My life is about many joys and goals, but being a parent is not one of them. This decision was not made because I hate children, but instead, simply because I know myself well, and I know that motherhood is not for me. Being a mother is an important and glorious role, but one that I have never aspired to achieve. With that said, I deeply respect my friends who are mothers, and I have a loving and wonderful relationship with my own Mom. Being child-free is a personal decision, and I am convinced that it is the most appropriate path for my life.
Now, the big question: Can I have sex just for the enjoyment if my intention is never to have a child? For those of you who are not religious, this may seem like a silly question. However, I bring this topic up for discussion because of the rise in the USA in popularity and political power of conservative Christians. You may also know them as Christian Nationalists. Many conservative Christians are of the belief that sex should only be for the creation of children. Therefore, following their logic, any form of birth control should be outlawed. Women should not have the power over their own bodies to say, “Yes, I want sex. And, no, I do not want kids.” Am I out of line in assuming that this is the belief that is threatening me? I think not. Birth control pills are called, “abortion pills,” by some conservative believers. The problem develops when Christians become powerful in the government, and begin to make their religious preferences law.
If you believe that I am over-reacting, then may I remind you that Roe v. Wade was overturned in 2022, and that abortions are now no longer protected by the Constitution. In many states where Christian Nationalists have gained positions in government, abortion is becoming illegal again. Birth control is the next target. I am here to say, “Laws off my body! This is my decision!” Let me be very clear: I believe that every woman has the right to decide how to express her own sexuality and for what purpose. If I want to have an active sex life, while not having children, then that is my call. Stay away from my birth control options. This includes the full spectrum of birth control, such as IUD’s, the pill, the shot, and, yes, abortion. The right is mine. The decision should not be taken away from me because a conservative Christian in congress wants his wife, “barefoot and pregnant.” If you think this is not happening, then you would be wrong. For example, Elon Musk has a large brood of children with many different women. His belief is that women are for baby making, and re-populating the white race, which supports his wrong white-supremacist thinking.
I am currently reading Margaret Atwood’s controversial novel The Handmaid’s Tale. I believe that if women do not raise their voices and take a stand, we will soon find ourselves strictly controlled by the patriarchy. In the novel, handmaids are for one purpose: to have children. In addition, bearing children is seen as the only reason for women’s existence. While reading, I feel suffocated and suppressed, just like the women in the book. They have no voice and no choices. Let me be clear that in 2025, women still have choices. But those choices are fading quickly while we watch our reproductive rights disappear. Let our voices not be silent now. There are organizations such as The Women’s March and Planned Parenthood Action which take a stand and fight for the rights of all females in this country. It is time to take to the streets in protest. Do not let what you can do with your body be dictated by a man. I saw a great meme online about The Handmaid’s Tale, and it said that the book is meant to be fiction, not an instruction manual for men to suppress women. I could not agree more!
I do not want to see a dystopian future for women in the USA. We need freedom and equality. We need to speak now! Do not let men in power, such as Trump or Musk, dictate our lives. I am legitimately terrified that bans on abortion and birth control are just the beginning. And this woman, will not conform. Instead, I will resist. I am inspired by many greats that have gone before me, such as the notorious RBG. Let us not forget her legacy of dissent. Let us make her proud! My body, my choice. I encourage every woman reading this to evaluate the meaning of choice to you, and to decide that it is worth fighting for.
With Resistance, G.
PS I have linked The Women’s March and Planned Parenthood Action Below. Check them out! In addition, feel free to share resources of your own in the comments. Thank you!
In the American media, how many times have you read comments about the bodies of celebrities? She is too fat, he is jacked, she needs Ozempic, and the classic, she looks sick! Reporters, influencers, and everyday people all seem to feel entitled to make judgments about the body shape and size of anyone who dares to step in front of a camera’s flashbulb. In addition, this attitude of criticizing bodies translates to personal examples in the lives of ordinary people. I, personally, have been told both that I was obese, and how great I looked when I lost a substantial amount of weight. My question is: why is my body any of your business? How dare anyone busy themselves with considering my shape and appearance. How dare they torture famous women and men with harassing comments only meant to criticize. So, as my own protest to these actions, let us consider here in The Ladybug a little education on body image.
First, I would like to state the obvious: bodies come in all forms and sizes. There is no one body that is better than any other. The term, “fat,” should not be considered an insult. The look of thinness should not be considered an ideal. Why should we let society dictate how we feel about our own bodies? The only thing that matters is the health of our bodies. This should not be determined by the BMI (Body Mass Index), but by measures such as blood pressure and lab tests. If your body is healthy and functioning correctly, your weight and shape should be accepted as beautiful no matter the number on the scale. The diversity in bodies is something to celebrate! It would be terribly boring if we all looked the same. So, why do we try to force our poor bodies to conform to an image that is expected of us. Women, specifically, are taught to shrink themselves into America’s vision of beauty. I say, let your body find its happy set point, the size where it wants to maintain itself naturally, and enjoy. Your unique body is a gift, embrace it!
Second, you may be asking yourself how I can speak so freely about the diversity in bodies. Perhaps, you might wonder if I do not feel the pressure to look acceptable. However, let me assure you that I have come to this rebellious standpoint on body image through my own struggles. I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa when I was 20 years old, after I fell into the behaviors of a serious eating disorder at age 18. I am still not fully recovered from my eating disorder 20 years later, but I am committed to the fight. For years, I cycled through hospital hallways and the offices of dieticians. Sometimes, it felt like I would never make peace with food, and there seemed to be no escape. One must eat every day to stay alive, and, so, I confronted my eating disorder at mealtimes and felt its cruel thoughts that rocked my mind. But, little by little, the therapies I was receiving and the supports of family and friends began to make a difference in my healing. In addition, as my faith in God deepened, I realized that I was not alone in my battles with food and body image. I have come a long way, and today I have drawn a truce with my body. I seek to love my body and give her what she needs. Specifically, I ask her daily what she desires, and I approach eating with an intuitive mind. Do I love my weight? No. But I actively choose to not focus my energies anymore on the number I see on a scale. It means nothing about my worth as a person, and I firmly believe that statement.
Third, let me give some advice. Do NOT make comments about other people’s bodies. Obey this rule NO Matter What! If you want to know why someone put on weight or lost it, then say Nothing, because it is not your concern. There are so many reasons why bodies change. Reasons for shape changes can be aging, health concerns, eating disorders, medication side effects, etc. The only reason to discuss someone’s weight with them is if they bring it up themselves. Also, commenting on the weight of a pregnant woman is a no-go, they are growing a human! Suggesting that a man or woman, “hit the gym,” is also completely unacceptable. There are many forms of movement and exercise, and one should choose movement that is joyful and provides happiness. I, myself, need to rest a lot due to my chronic health problems, and I am not physically able to maintain a strict exercise regime. Society would like me to feel guilty about this fact, however, I refuse to force my body to do something she is not capable of just so that I may fit in. When it comes to health advice, leave it to a trained medical professional. Commenting on body image, exercise, and weight loss/gain is never a smart idea.
In conclusion, I would like to reach out to my sisters and brothers who are struggling with eating disorders. It is a difficult road, and treatment is not always affordable. Many suffer in silence. Please, if you are experiencing trouble with eating or negative body image, reach out for help through any means available. Eating disorders are serious and deadly. However, breaking the stigma and ending the silent suffering of those who experience any type of disordered eating is crucial. If you are a family member or friend of someone with an eating disorder, my advice is to love them and stand by them. They need your support and healing presence. I have linked below The National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) and The Multi-Service Eating Disorders Association, INC (MEDA). I have personally received assistance from both organizations, and I can recommend their support services.
Finally, do not succumb to the pressures of American culture, which supports a twisted concept of body image and weight. Instead, be a rebel, and embrace your own beautiful, wonderful, unique body with all your heart and mind. You are already perfect, so go be authentically you!
With Acceptance, G.
P.S. I have displayed below a photo of myself at the 2019 NEDA Walk in Boston, MA.
Recently, I posted a blog on The Ladybug discussing my blessings during the reign of Trump. Today, I would like to further expand upon the idea that blessings exist during difficult times, by sharing my personal faith. The news in the USA has only been getting scarier and scarier. How do we cope with our fears? How do we manage the harsh realities that are flooding our lives from the new Trump administration? I am a person who relies on government agencies and policies that have long been in place. Now, I feel that I am a sitting duck with a gun pointed at my head, as the democratic government I hold dear tumbles down. Is there anything I can do? Of course I can take political action by calling my representatives. And, I can resist and protest in the streets. But, what about internal action? How do I protect my peace?
The answer for me is: by digging into my faith in God. I identify as a progressive Christian, and my faith in the love and protection of Jesus has seen me through many dark days in my life. God is always faithful to me, and my peace of mind is guaranteed when I am faithful to him in return. In the Bible, Jesus says, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” This quote is from the Gospel of John 16:33. Many believe that being a Christian should mean an easy walk through life. However, God does not promise that we never see troubles, simply that He is with us during every moment of our troubles. He sees us through the storm. We live in a fallen world, where heartache and death are realities. But do not forget, Jesus conquered death by rising on the third day following His crucifixion. He can help you and I overcome anything!
I would like to share a personal story about my life as an example of the healing powers of faith. I have struggled with alcoholism since I was 20 years old. I did not get serious about sobriety until I was 31 years old. I now have 6 and ½ years sober from alcohol. This journey through my addiction has been marked by tears, danger, and denial. There were many people in my life that wanted me to stop drinking before I decided to try to sober up. I hurt those closest to me. I never would have achieved a sober day without the grace of God. It takes a village to support the recovery of an addict, and that village must be guided by a higher power. I decided to get sober after I lived through a near-death experience. I realized that if I had died, I would have left my life a mess. I thanked God that I survived, and dedicated myself to sobriety. The journey has not been easy, and I still take only one day at a time. I struggle with my addiction every day, and every day God is Good and keeps me sober. I could have died, but here I am, living still and living clean!
My hope in sharing my personal story of how faith saved me from alcoholism, is to inspire you to reach out to God no matter what mountain you are facing. He alone can aid you. His love will comfort you through the rough days of your own journey. Perhaps you are stressed and frightened by the current political climate. Perhaps you are financially tapped out. Maybe, you just lost a loved one and are grieving. Whatever the circumstance, do not rely on your own strength, but reach towards God and His strength. We are never alone in our struggles. You never have to feel alone. I may be scared by what is coming in the next days and months of the Trump administration, but I know that I will be okay in the end. If it is not okay, then it is not the end. How do I know? Because, I believe in a loving and powerful God who wants to help me and is by my side through thick and thin. All you need do is ask. A simple prayer. “God, help me.” He will hear you, and He is faithful. Dig into what is beyond Trump or any of his leaders, the higher power, and rely on God to bring you to better days.
I am currently typing this while curled up in bed with a warm, electric blanket, and a hot mug of coffee. There was a major snow storm last night, and the weather has now decided to spit ice and rain. My car is completely snowed in, and I am not going anywhere. Therefore, I have made an executive decision that today is a rest day. My week has been long and filled with appointments and schoolwork. I deserve rest. However, do I really need to earn my rest? Or does my mind and body simply deserve rest because they exist. Is it okay to take a rest day because I am tired, or even two rest days? Or even a rest week? Let us look at this idea a little more closely.
In America, the rules of society dictate that we all work and hustle, as much as possible. In addition, if one has a disability or health condition that requires taking life a little less intensely, then you are looked down upon by other people. Grind, grind, grind! That is the motto for the USA. Whether this attitude be at your job, in your relationship, or at the gym, you are expected to always be moving forward. Life is a proverbial rat race. But why? What is so wrong about slowing down?
Let me share a little about my personal experience. When I meet a new person, they always ask me what I do for work. My reply is that I do not work, currently, that I am in school part-time. This answer usually always elicits a confused look from the other person, and then the inevitable question, “Well, what do you do with your time? Aren’t you bored?” I find this arrogant assumption that because I do not meet with society’s standard of full-time work or full-time school, that I somehow must have no life. The assumption is that I must be lazy, and sitting around eating chocolates all day. My life is full of responsibilities and I often feel overwhelmed by how busy my days are, and how little time I have for rest. My life just looks different from the norm. I balance family obligations with health appointments and school and exercise and activities that contribute to my values system, just like anybody else.
So, why am I shamed for not fitting the business rules of American society? And, if I need rest days to help my body and mind rejuvenate so that I may keep going in my life, why is that wrong? I feel that in the USA, we have our values all wrong. With all the emphasis on grinding and hustling, exhaustion and burn-out are inevitably to be expected. In fact, many people are dissatisfied in their lives because they do not take time to rest. However, I understand that rest time can be seen as an unattainable luxury to some people. Perhaps you are a busy Mom, or a person working three jobs to make ends meet, and rest time sounds impossible. I understand, and I do not want to discount these persons and situations. My point is, that instead of striving to never stop moving, we should be striving to carve out little pockets of rest in our daily lives. For example, take a longer than usual coffee break, or go for a walk on your lunch hour, or dedicate one day a week to sleeping-in by a half hour extra. There are possibilities for adding rest, if one is creative. Rest time is crucial to mental and physical well-being, and it is a luxury that we should be striving to make a weekly practice.
My challenge to you is to find your happy place. Stop and think. Just breathe for a moment. What small activity, or lack of activity, makes your little heart soar? For me, I enjoy eating canned soup while curled in bed watching a favorite Netflix show, and I like to take time to do this when I feel my body telling me she is tired. There are hundreds of possibilities for what a rest day, hour, or moment may look like for you, but make sure to carve out the time to indulge. Your body will thank you with improved overall health. Your mind will thank you for letting it de-stress, even for twenty minutes. Do not run the rat race and feel you are stuck. Instead, embrace rest time, and view it as a form of self-respect, just as important as leg-day at the gym. My message to all my Ladybug readers: Permission to rest-GRANTED!!!
The Ladybug 