The Ladybug

Category: Lifestyle

  • Restorative Walking: A Personal Journey

    Walking is such a wonderful activity, and full of many different benefits!  I do not take my ability to partake in this gift lightly!  And walking truly is a gift, as it allows one to exercise in a gentle way.  If you have read The Ladybug this year, you may already know that I feel especially connected to the Spirit of God while in nature and moving my body.  I also like to partake in charity walks to raise money for worthy organizations that do good in our imperfect world.  In addition, walking with a friend, family member, or group, is a blessed way to be in community and form connections.  I could go on and on about the benefits of walking, but I want to get a little more personal with my readers today about my 2025 walking journey.

                Walking is, in general, a little more difficult for me than for the “average” person.  I have been diagnosed with POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardic Syndrome) and hEDS (hypermobile sub-type Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome).  Both illnesses affect an individual’s ability to exercise.  However, I persist with a routine of walking and yoga as a way of maintaining healthy and joyful movement in my life.  The year 2025 began with a blast, with my body being strong enough to complete the American Cancer Society 31-Mile Challenge in January.  I walked 42 miles in the month of January, while raising money to fight cancer. 

                As the year continued, I began to feel a bit like I was struggling with my health.  I completed less mileage in the months of February and March.  Half-way through March 2025, I became ill with a bad bronchitis and lay in bed feeling sorry for myself.  In April 2025, I woke up on Easter Sunday extremely ill with a tick-borne illness like Malaria.  If you want more details on that experience in my life, see my former Ladybug post I’m Back! Let’s Talk Honestly About Anxiety and Faith.  By the end of May 2025, I was barely walking down to the mailbox. 

                Facing a huge deficit in my physical stamina for walking and getting outdoors for exercise has been hard on my mental health as well.  As the month of June began, I was determined I would regain my strength.  Gently, I began with restorative yoga practices.  Then, walking 0.50 miles up and down the sidewalk near my apartment building.  When I was visiting my parents’ home, I walked short distances with the family dog.  I carefully stayed under a mile at first until I felt strong enough to barely reach that distance. 

                It seemed that my fitness was on an up-swing, but the universe had other plans!  In early July, I was admitted to the hospital on a med/surge floor for testing and the procedures set me back yet again.  When one has POTS and hEDS, it is harder to recover from “normal” testing which other individuals may bounce back from.  I left the hospital on shaky legs, walking with a cane.  I do not want to complain too much at this point, because let me be clear that walking is a privilege.  Even with the set-back, I knew I was still blessed.  So, the journey now starts again to gain momentum and stamina.

                I would like to choose a charity walk in the Fall 2025 to plan to complete.  It will be beneficial to have a goal to train for as I navigate the difficulties this year has thrown at me, and may continue to provide.  Please comment your suggestions!!  I live in New England, but virtual walks are welcome, too!  Last October 2024, I completed a 10K distance virtual walk for The Jimmy Fund.  I would like to choose a walk with a good cause.  My walking journeys are never all about me.  I like to use my body, in whatever shape she is in, to spread love to others.  I hope that my passion for sticking to it and not giving up will inspire you as well.  Think of a cause you love and find a walk/run/hike/roll that you can accomplish!! 

                In Progress, G.

    PS The photo below is of me walking the family dog today.  I completed 1.03 miles! 

  • My Current Top 5 Pop Album Favorites

    One of my biggest passions is listening to music that matches my current moods and emotions.  Life has been difficult lately, so, let’s have some fun!  Here are my top 5 favorite pop albums that I am listening to on repeat!  And, yes, I am old-school and I listen to CD’s. 

                5) The Killers: Direct Hits

    I enjoy listening to a well-done greatest-hits album from time to time, and The Killers deliver a nice package deal with their version.  I feel quite nostalgic listening to this CD, because The Killers first became popular when I was in high school.  As a sophomore in college at age 20, I would cruise around in my car blasting When You Were Young like I just couldn’t get enough of it!  The combination of rock and pop that embodies The Killers’ sound appeals to me, and I love to dance around the room to this album like no one is watching.  And, if someone is watching, I do not care!!

                4) Lady Gaga: Harlequin

    One thing that I love about Lady Gaga’s sound is that it is ever evolving.  As an artist, Lady Gaga is not afraid to take risks and try something new.  She is a multi-dimensional musical genius!  Harlequin is a fascinating album to listen to, as Lady Gaga flexes her vocal talent to include jazz and big band sounds.  I especially love the tracks Oh, When the Saints and The Joker.  The styling of the CD cover is part of the appeal, with Lady Gaga embracing her role in the movie Joker: Folie a Deux.  I have not seen the movie, but I am glad that it inspired the singer to explore new sides of her artistry on this interesting album.

                3) Taylor Swift: Lover

    Yes, folks, I am a Swiftie!  I have no problem admitting it!  I did not get the opportunity to attend The Eras Tour, but I watched quite a bit of film from the concerts.  And, I will admit, I purchased an Eras Tour sweatshirt.  The reason I mention the tour, is because the opening era is from the Lover album.  Before watching tour footage, I never really appreciated Lover.  To be honest, it was one of my least favorite albums by Swift.  However, after the popularity of the tune Cruel Summer, I decided to give Lover another listen.  What I found was a much more complex and layered album than I had originally thought Lover to be.  From heartbreak to true love to a family member’s health scare, it was a diverse and genius work of art.  I have a new found appreciation for Lover, and listen to it frequently!

                2) Beyonce: I Am… Sasha Fierce

    It is difficult to pick my favorite Beyonce album to add to this list, but I believe that I Am…Sasha Fierce is my current favorite.  I love to wake up early in the morning, brew some coffee, and read my Bible while listening to this album.  I then proceed to journal my feelings and reflect on what I have read.  I love that this album starts off slow, and then really picks up the pace.  It is the perfect compliment to my morning devotions.  Beyonce is so gifted in her range and singing ability, that I am sure she would sound great singing almost any genera.  Her albums over the years have showcased her talent in this area, especially with her recent Grammy-award winning country album Cowboy Carter.  However, I will always love hearing her silky-smooth voice sing Halo, and then proceed to belt-out Single Ladies (Put a Ring on it).  Thank you, Queen Bey!!

    1. Lana Del Rey: Chemtrails Over the Country Club

    To say that I am a huge Lana Del Rey fan is an understatement!  I find her voice to be intoxicating.  Her ability to sound full of emotion and sadness and soul is music to my ears.  I love her lusty crooning abilities, and the intense control she has over her voice.  This album has a jazz/blues musicality that I really enjoy.  I also am a fan of Lana Del Rey’s lyrics, and I love that she is a little bit controversial.  She does not back away from making things sexy, raw, and real.  I value honesty in an artist, and I want their music to touch a real feeling inside of me.  I can relate to a lot of what Lana Del Rey sings about, and I love that she does not pretend to be perfect or without fault.  She is the total package of what an artist should be: vocally talented, musically creative, and lyrically interesting.  I was not at all hesitant to pick Lana Del Rey as my number one, the only difficulty was choosing which one of her albums I love best.  However, this one has been on repeat for me recently, and I suggest that you check it out!

                So, there you go!  My listening choices for pop albums.  I am also a fan of other musical genera, so perhaps we will revisit this type of blog post another time!  Keep listening! 

                Jamming out, G.

    PS This is a flashback photo from early March 2025 of me wearing my Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour sweatshirt!

  • Nature is Healing

    Today, I would like to share a relaxing post about my favorite way to de-stress.  Whenever I am upset, sad, anxious, or just overwhelmed, I go for a walk.  Specifically, I try to connect with nature.  Yes, I am a tree-hugger.  I feel that the natural world is the best therapist.  When I walk in the woods, I feel God with me more than at any other time.  The silence of the forest, and the occasional interruption of bird song, puts me in a Zen state of mind.  I consider myself blessed to live in New England, where I can experience four unique seasons, and the beautiful weather that goes along with each one.  We are certainly living in troubling times in our country and world, and so my daily walks are becoming more precious to me.  I decided that the best use of my blog in this post would be to spread some joy with a little nature photography exhibit.  Below are ten nature photos that I simply took with my smartphone during my winter walks this year.  Please relax and enjoy!  If you feel so inspired, go outside for a little dose of nature yourself!  Blessings, G.

  • Can I Comment on Your Body?

    In the American media, how many times have you read comments about the bodies of celebrities?  She is too fat, he is jacked, she needs Ozempic, and the classic, she looks sick!  Reporters, influencers, and everyday people all seem to feel entitled to make judgments about the body shape and size of anyone who dares to step in front of a camera’s flashbulb.  In addition, this attitude of criticizing bodies translates to personal examples in the lives of ordinary people.  I, personally, have been told both that I was obese, and how great I looked when I lost a substantial amount of weight.  My question is: why is my body any of your business?  How dare anyone busy themselves with considering my shape and appearance.  How dare they torture famous women and men with harassing comments only meant to criticize.  So, as my own protest to these actions, let us consider here in The Ladybug a little education on body image.

                First, I would like to state the obvious: bodies come in all forms and sizes.  There is no one body that is better than any other.  The term, “fat,” should not be considered an insult.  The look of thinness should not be considered an ideal.  Why should we let society dictate how we feel about our own bodies?  The only thing that matters is the health of our bodies.  This should not be determined by the BMI (Body Mass Index), but by measures such as blood pressure and lab tests.  If your body is healthy and functioning correctly, your weight and shape should be accepted as beautiful no matter the number on the scale.  The diversity in bodies is something to celebrate!  It would be terribly boring if we all looked the same.  So, why do we try to force our poor bodies to conform to an image that is expected of us.  Women, specifically, are taught to shrink themselves into America’s vision of beauty.  I say, let your body find its happy set point, the size where it wants to maintain itself naturally, and enjoy.  Your unique body is a gift, embrace it!

                Second, you may be asking yourself how I can speak so freely about the diversity in bodies.  Perhaps, you might wonder if I do not feel the pressure to look acceptable.  However, let me assure you that I have come to this rebellious standpoint on body image through my own struggles.  I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa when I was 20 years old, after I fell into the behaviors of a serious eating disorder at age 18.  I am still not fully recovered from my eating disorder 20 years later, but I am committed to the fight.  For years, I cycled through hospital hallways and the offices of dieticians.  Sometimes, it felt like I would never make peace with food, and there seemed to be no escape.  One must eat every day to stay alive, and, so, I confronted my eating disorder at mealtimes and felt its cruel thoughts that rocked my mind.  But, little by little, the therapies I was receiving and the supports of family and friends began to make a difference in my healing.  In addition, as my faith in God deepened, I realized that I was not alone in my battles with food and body image.  I have come a long way, and today I have drawn a truce with my body.  I seek to love my body and give her what she needs.  Specifically, I ask her daily what she desires, and I approach eating with an intuitive mind.  Do I love my weight?  No.  But I actively choose to not focus my energies anymore on the number I see on a scale.  It means nothing about my worth as a person, and I firmly believe that statement. 

                Third, let me give some advice.  Do NOT make comments about other people’s bodies.  Obey this rule NO Matter What!  If you want to know why someone put on weight or lost it, then say Nothing, because it is not your concern.  There are so many reasons why bodies change.  Reasons for shape changes can be aging, health concerns, eating disorders, medication side effects, etc.  The only reason to discuss someone’s weight with them is if they bring it up themselves.  Also, commenting on the weight of a pregnant woman is a no-go, they are growing a human!  Suggesting that a man or woman, “hit the gym,” is also completely unacceptable.  There are many forms of movement and exercise, and one should choose movement that is joyful and provides happiness.  I, myself, need to rest a lot due to my chronic health problems, and I am not physically able to maintain a strict exercise regime.  Society would like me to feel guilty about this fact, however, I refuse to force my body to do something she is not capable of just so that I may fit in.  When it comes to health advice, leave it to a trained medical professional.  Commenting on body image, exercise, and weight loss/gain is never a smart idea.

                In conclusion, I would like to reach out to my sisters and brothers who are struggling with eating disorders.  It is a difficult road, and treatment is not always affordable.  Many suffer in silence.  Please, if you are experiencing trouble with eating or negative body image, reach out for help through any means available.  Eating disorders are serious and deadly.  However, breaking the stigma and ending the silent suffering of those who experience any type of disordered eating is crucial.  If you are a family member or friend of someone with an eating disorder, my advice is to love them and stand by them.  They need your support and healing presence.  I have linked below The National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) and The Multi-Service Eating Disorders Association, INC (MEDA).  I have personally received assistance from both organizations, and I can recommend their support services. 

    Finally, do not succumb to the pressures of American culture, which supports a twisted concept of body image and weight.  Instead, be a rebel, and embrace your own beautiful, wonderful, unique body with all your heart and mind.  You are already perfect, so go be authentically you!

    With Acceptance, G.

    P.S. I have displayed below a photo of myself at the 2019 NEDA Walk in Boston, MA.

    Home – National Eating Disorders Association

    MEDA Inc. | Multi-Service Eating Disorders Association

  • Permission to Rest

    I am currently typing this while curled up in bed with a warm, electric blanket, and a hot mug of coffee.  There was a major snow storm last night, and the weather has now decided to spit ice and rain.  My car is completely snowed in, and I am not going anywhere.  Therefore, I have made an executive decision that today is a rest day.  My week has been long and filled with appointments and schoolwork.  I deserve rest.  However, do I really need to earn my rest?  Or does my mind and body simply deserve rest because they exist.  Is it okay to take a rest day because I am tired, or even two rest days?  Or even a rest week?  Let us look at this idea a little more closely.

                In America, the rules of society dictate that we all work and hustle, as much as possible.  In addition, if one has a disability or health condition that requires taking life a little less intensely, then you are looked down upon by other people.  Grind, grind, grind!  That is the motto for the USA.  Whether this attitude be at your job, in your relationship, or at the gym, you are expected to always be moving forward.  Life is a proverbial rat race.  But why?  What is so wrong about slowing down?

                Let me share a little about my personal experience.  When I meet a new person, they always ask me what I do for work.  My reply is that I do not work, currently, that I am in school part-time.  This answer usually always elicits a confused look from the other person, and then the inevitable question, “Well, what do you do with your time?  Aren’t you bored?”  I find this arrogant assumption that because I do not meet with society’s standard of full-time work or full-time school, that I somehow must have no life.  The assumption is that I must be lazy, and sitting around eating chocolates all day.  My life is full of responsibilities and I often feel overwhelmed by how busy my days are, and how little time I have for rest.  My life just looks different from the norm.  I balance family obligations with health appointments and school and exercise and activities that contribute to my values system, just like anybody else. 

                So, why am I shamed for not fitting the business rules of American society?  And, if I need rest days to help my body and mind rejuvenate so that I may keep going in my life, why is that wrong?  I feel that in the USA, we have our values all wrong.  With all the emphasis on grinding and hustling, exhaustion and burn-out are inevitably to be expected.  In fact, many people are dissatisfied in their lives because they do not take time to rest.  However, I understand that rest time can be seen as an unattainable luxury to some people.  Perhaps you are a busy Mom, or a person working three jobs to make ends meet, and rest time sounds impossible.  I understand, and I do not want to discount these persons and situations.  My point is, that instead of striving to never stop moving, we should be striving to carve out little pockets of rest in our daily lives.  For example, take a longer than usual coffee break, or go for a walk on your lunch hour, or dedicate one day a week to sleeping-in by a half hour extra.  There are possibilities for adding rest, if one is creative.  Rest time is crucial to mental and physical well-being, and it is a luxury that we should be striving to make a weekly practice.

                My challenge to you is to find your happy place.  Stop and think.  Just breathe for a moment.  What small activity, or lack of activity, makes your little heart soar?  For me, I enjoy eating canned soup while curled in bed watching a favorite Netflix show, and I like to take time to do this when I feel my body telling me she is tired.  There are hundreds of possibilities for what a rest day, hour, or moment may look like for you, but make sure to carve out the time to indulge.  Your body will thank you with improved overall health.  Your mind will thank you for letting it de-stress, even for twenty minutes.  Do not run the rat race and feel you are stuck.  Instead, embrace rest time, and view it as a form of self-respect, just as important as leg-day at the gym.  My message to all my Ladybug readers: Permission to rest-GRANTED!!!

                Be Relaxed, G.

  • Challenges and Gentle Self-Care

                                                    Updates and Lifestyle Hacks

    First, I would like to update you, readers of The Ladybug, on my progress towards The American Cancer Society 31-miles Walking Challenge for January, which was the subject of my first blog post, Walking for a Cause.  I have successfully completed the challenge, by walking a total of 42.56 miles in the month of January 2025.  The goal of the challenge was to walk 31 miles total, and so I was quite pleased with the result of my efforts.  In addition, I was able to raise 151.00 dollars for The American Cancer Society from donations of generous friends and family members who sponsored my walking.  Completing a goal is always rewarding, whether the goal was large or small, and walking for charities is one of my most important values.

    As I have mentioned previously, I struggle with chronic physical illnesses, which can make exercise difficult on any given day.  Two of my diagnoses are: hEDS (Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, hypermobility subtype) and POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome).  These two illnesses do not have cures, and are managed through lifestyle changes.  Exercise is highly suggested for both conditions, and can help the body stay stronger.  Beyond physical health, the benefits of walking for mental health cannot be overstated.  When I am in nature, I feel calm, serene, and connected to God.  Nature reminds me that the problems of the world that seem huge, can just melt away with some sunshine and the songs of birds.

    I feel that when I ask my body to walk, even if she is tired or the weather is difficult to endure, I need to find a way to reward my hard-working body.  One of the ways that I do this is by drinking homemade matcha green tea lattes.  Matcha is an ancient green tea that was drunk by Buddhist monks in a special ceremony.  There are multiple benefits to matcha, including its antioxidants and natural caffeine.  Personally, I find the little ritual of making my matcha lattes to be rewarding.  First, I heat water, but not to boiling.  Then, I whisk the matcha powder with the water.  Finally, I add cold oat milk, and whisk everything together.  The drink is then poured in a glass and finished with a couple ice cubes.  It tastes earthy, rich, and sublime.  This is my personal thank-you to my body after getting me through another work-out. 

    I recommend that everyone be on loving terms with their bodies and find a special way to engage in some self-care.  Self-Care is unique to what each person enjoys. I would simply define it as: being gentle with the wonderful bodies and minds that God has given us.  Whatever challenges you may be facing, or difficult goals you may be pursuing, take some time and be gentle.  Read a book in your favorite genera, wear fuzzy slippers after a pedicure, play an instrument, paint a picture, soak in a bath, or make a list of the blessings in your life.  It is the little moments of joy that heal us and keep us going.  Take on your challenges armed with self-care!  Until the next quest…keep healing, G.

    P.S. Below are two pictures from my walking adventures in New England, and two pictures from my matcha making ritual at home.  Not sponsored!  Enjoy!!

  • Diagnosed: Who Am I?

    Personal Post: Mental Health

    Is it helpful or hurtful to be diagnosed with an illness?  The answer may seem obvious, that a diagnosis can help in treatment and, hopefully, recovery.  However, does this reasoning apply to mental illnesses as well as physical ones?  I feel that I have a unique perspective on this question, because I have been diagnosed with both.  Unfortunately, I struggle with several chronic medical conditions that require treatment.  In addition, I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, which has also led to prescription drug treatment and hospital stays.  Revealing these facts about my life used to feel shameful and embarrassing.  People are usually understanding and sympathetic when I say I have, “health problems.”  However, as soon as I mention mental health, their reactions turn from friendly to uncomfortable.  A few people are brazen enough to ask what meds I take, some people tell me about a weird relative they have with a similar diagnosis, and then there are those who look at me knowingly, and whisper under their breath, that they struggle too.

                So, why is this topic as controversial as the others that I cover on The Ladybug, namely religion and politics?  Let’s dive in!  One observation that I have made throughout my journey is that mental health conditions scare people.  Behaviors seem threatening, and they can be dangerous.  Suicide is a leading cause of death in the USA.  Every life lost to suicide is a tragedy.  My own attempts were stopped by loving parents, and I was blessed to receive the treatment that I needed.  Others are less fortunate.  In addition, hospitals for the mentally ill are intimidating.  The experience of a locked ward is one that is unforgettable.  The staff are not always there for the right reasons.  Medications for mental illnesses have difficult side effects that can cause physical changes.  Personally, I struggle with a tremor that is obvious and makes everyone assume I am nervous.  These are some of the more obvious reasons why mental health is a difficult subject.

                But, what is the consequence of the label, “Mentally Ill.” Or, “Bipolar.”  How does it feel to be a professional patient?  Isn’t that the consequence of receiving the diagnosis and being told one is disabled?  I have not been able to maintain employment due to my mental illness, therefore living on disability payments and scratching by financially.  How do you think that makes me feel?  We all know that the Republicans in congress do not look favorably on people like me, living on handouts and charity.  So, how can I respect myself?  See myself favorably?  Feel my own self-worth?  The answer is:  I know that I am so much more than my diagnosis.  My diagnosis is not who I am.  My name is Gaelle, my name is not bipolar.  I have something of value to offer this world simply by being me.  That’s it, nothing more.  I have worth.             

    Honestly, the realization that I am more than my diagnosis was something that took time.  I tried to keep my mental illness a secret.  I feared that people would not see me the way I wanted to be seen if only they knew the truth.  Now, I understand that valuable friends love me for me.  The people who judge me or shade me with stigma are not worth my tears.  I encourage anyone who is feeling ashamed of a diagnosis to step back.  See the information given to you as power in your hands to better understand yourself and aid with treatment and recovery.  There is always hope for a better ending.  We have the control to make positive decisions about our futures.  My personal motto is: Never Give Up!!!  The healing I have experienced over the years is amazing, and it is the reason I was inspired to write such an intimate post.  Mental illness is real, yes, and treatable, and recovery is possible.  Do not let the label define you.  Every human life holds value.  Thank you for reading a little of my story.  If you are someone struggling with mental illness and/or suicidality, please ask for help.  I have included the link below for The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.  Blessings, G.    

    Home | AFSP

  • Lifestyle: Walking for a Cause in 2025!!!

    Hello and welcome to 2025!!  I am starting this year with a lifestyle post about my love of charity walks.  As a person who struggles with more than one chronic illness, I find it invigorating and important to exercise by walking on a regular basis.  I can think of no better way to apply my love of walking than by raising funds for worthy organizations.  I first began participating in charity walks when I was quite young, around 10 years of age.  Over the years, the mileage that I can achieve has changed based on my health, but my determination to make a positive difference in the lives of others has not wavered.  In 2024, I participated in four charity walks.  I completed two 5K distances, one 2-mile distance, and one 10K distance, all of which I trained for carefully.  The walks supported the organizations: National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), Open Sky Community Services, The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP), and The Jimmy Fund. 

                Fast-Forward to 2025, and I am taking on a new walking challenge!  I have registered for the American Cancer Society 31-miles in January Challenge, committing to walk at least 1 mile per day.  This cause is very close to my heart, as two of my grandparents struggled with cancer, and one of my close friends is currently fighting. Unfortunately, cancer seems to affect the lives of everyone, whether you know someone or battle with it yourself.    The fundraiser is on Facebook, and I include the link here:

    https://www.facebook.com/donate/1351351116309350/

    I appreciate your support!!

      In addition, this challenge also comes at a tough time for me physically, as I have been in a flare of my chronic illness. Walking daily is currently more difficult than usual.  However, I am determined to overcome my own health struggles, and aid others as well.  Comment below any ways that you use movement to make a difference.  What does it mean to you? 

    Let’s Go, New Year, Goal Set!!!!  

    My photo of my first 2025 walk: